Single Ladies! It's October 2013!

I've been thinking a lot about Divine Dating lately, so here's my "Advice for Single Girls" - October 2013 edition post.  There are many more in the archives..

I don't know if this is typical for everyone, or if it is just my Timeline, but nearly every time I get on Facebook lately all I see is wedding announcements, baby showers and engagements.  I am totally happy for my friends and family who are going through these seasons in their lives.  I can also say I am by no means jealous at this point in my journey--although the same cannot be said for my past.

Anyhow, so today I woke up full of patience, creativity and craving adventure.  I prayed and listened to God for a good 45 minutes..just basking in his wonderfulness.  I thanked him for his awesomeness and how he provides me with wonderful opportunities.  I thanked him because I have never gone without food or shelter or water.  He is my Jehovah-Jireh through and through.

This week particularly He has opened several new doors of opportunity for me, which gives me enthusiasm and excitement for my young life.  I mean, I have so many years of living and loving left to do!

So this was my mindset, and then I paused and decided to check Facebook for baby photos from a close friend.  As I scrolled down the page all I saw were weddings and babies.  I suddenly felt lonely and empty.  But then I stopped and caught myself.

Haley!  How can you say that?  You are graduating in December, you just spent two hours painting, before that you ran, sang, had an amazingly long and uninterrupted quiet time.  Your life is perfect for you right now!

Satan makes it so easy for us to focus on what we don't have, rather than focusing on what we do and turning that into thanksgiving back to the Lord.

So I stopped and counted my blessings.

I also reminded myself how I have stuff that these married and baby people don't.  I can travel.  I can move easily.  I can paint whenever I want.  I only have one schedule to keep up with.

We always think the grass is greener on the other side...

I've heard it said that comparison is the root of all evil.  That may very well be true.  No one is better or better off than you, they are just different.  Your story isn't supreme to someone else's, it's just different.  And yes, everyone has an incredibly amazing story to tell.  In fact, you're writing yours right now!  What's it saying?  What does it say about character and integrity?  Does it reflect God in worship?  Or is your story one of fear and insecurity?  Is that how you want it to end?  When does the climax take place, and why are you waiting around to write it?

I'm reading a book right now about a woman who was bored with her life, so she changed it.  Just like that.   Her story is about courage, living out old dreams, forgiveness and acceptance.  She is learning to accept herself, and that she must do that to find content with her life.

As a single, Christian woman (or male I guess) you have so much room for growth.  God has you in this place and time of your life for a reason.  Allow him complete freedom to do with you what he wants.  Remind him and yourself that that is what pre-marriage and family is for.  It is for building the integrity of the person who will one day be helping that prince with his business and finances.  You are shaping the type of woman who is going to raise wonderful godly children.  Allow God to be God and work on you.

And don't forget, it's not about doing and achieving as much as it is about just being.  Be.  God is more concerned with who you are than what you do.  This is very easy to forget, especially for me.

So get out there and enjoy these years, sister.  They are beautiful!

Things a Single Girl Has Time For..Part 1

Lucky for me, Fridays are my slower days.  Last Friday I spent 2 hours on campus sitting through meetings, and the rest of the afternoon I have enjoyed with myself.  First, I spent an hour and a half talking to one of my closest sisters in Christ.  We talked about how stressful our week started out, but how glorious God made himself as the week went on.  Almost 2 hours--JUST GLORIFYING GOD!  How awesome!

After that I spent another hour on the phone with a dear sweet girl that I disciple.  She told me of all the things God had been teaching her, and how she is recognizing Satan's attacks against these things.  Another hour spent in worship! :)  How wonderful!

I then worked on some homework for an hour or so, which was really nice to get out of the way for the weekend.  But here comes the best part, after that I spent an hour de-salting a can of Planter's Cashews!  Yes, I sound crazy and pathetic, but oddly enough, no grocery store in my area sells unsalted Cashews, and I like to make my own unsalted mixed nut assortment.  Therefore, I unsalt all my Cashews before mixing them with my other nuts.  Moving on now...

 As I stood silently in my kitchen, carefully wiping the salt off of each individual Cashew, God began to whisper sweet blessings into my ear.  You know, this may sound silly, but one day you are going to wish you had time to sit around and unsalt Cashews.  This is one of the many blessings I have given to you to enjoy during this season of your life.


How true!  Satan attacks single people all the time, but when we really stop and think about what we have, it's actually quite wonderful!  All week God has been refilling my contentment jar with gracious thoughts and a thankful heart.  Why in the world do we complain about not having enough to do, enough people to talk to, or enough money in our wallet?  God is the ultimate provider.  He gives us everything we could ever need--and more!  

This season in your life may be throwing struggles at you left and right, but stop and make a list of what all you have to be grateful for!  Make a list of all the random-awesome things you can do now, that you may not be able to do later on.  You might even come across a can of nuts! 


Here is a list of some ideas to get you started:

• Movie Nights!  I have a close friend who absolutely LOVES movie nights/days.  When given the chance, she curls up in a huge blanket and spends hours watching all sorts of movies that she alone enjoys.  She often talks of the relaxation and refreshment she gets from this activity.  This may not be rocket science, but when you graduate and get married, these opportunities will become less and less.
• Long Walks with God- Another girl friend of mine spends hours in fellowship with God.  She often walks down to a lovely pond with her Bible and a journal, and just talks to him.  Enjoy the sunset, pray for your neighborhood, or get to know the heart of God, all of these things are precious moments that single people have extra time for.
• Learn to cook and clean!  It's biblical, I promise!
• Find awesome new hairstyles on Pinterest- This will definitely come in handy when God's perfect timing is revealed.
• Hang out with people who aren't your age! Look around your church and see who needs a baby sitter, or some extra company.  Both little kids and older people have TONS of wisdom that you can pick up on.  I always have a blast doing this!

Whatever you decide to do, do it with all your heart (Coll 3:23) and do it to the glory of God.  Ephesians 5 tells us to live wisely because the days slip away faster than monkey on  a banana peel (my paraphrase,) so make the most of every season!  God has a purpose in each circumstance (Ecclesiastes.)

3 Lessons from Ruth

We all know her and love her.  She created the definition of "faithful."  She laid down her life for her mother-in-law, and she showed us contentment, obedience, and persistence as she went from married, to single, to remarried.

The book of Ruth has a lot of wisdom packed into just 4 short chapters.  Some of the major themes include faithfulness, kindness, and integrity.  These are all amazing themes, and could be rich studies, but today's post is going to focus on 3 characteristics Ruth showed during her single years.  Since most of my readers are single, I feel like this is an appropriate post.

1. She practiced the definition of "faithful."  When Ruth's first husband died, she had the opportunity to do whatever she wanted.  She was a free woman again!  She could travel all around the world, seeing all the beautiful places, she could buy her own house and decorate it however she wanted, with no one telling her what to do, or she could even become a regular at the local pub--staying out till all hours of the nights without a care in the world.
   
   Ruth had the world at her feet.  She could finally live a life fully focused on her.  But, as fancy as that sounds, she knew that a lifestyle like that would not lead to her ultimate happiness.  Instead, she did the last thing a newly widowed woman would choose to do.  She chose to stick by her mother-in-law and faithfully love and serve her during this time.
   
   Yes, technically Ruth had no responsibility of Naomi anymore, but because Ruth first chose to marry Naomi's son, she had the moral responsibility of choosing Naomi, again.  From this choice we get one of the most used verses in the bible:
   
   
   Ruth 1:16"...Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.  Your people will be my people and your God will be my God."
   If you are currently single, have you been faithful to the things God has presently placed before you?  Perhaps it is helping your parents, discipling a younger girl, or reaching out to a friend.  Luke 16:10 says he who is faithful with little will be faithful with much.  God never gives you more than you can handle.
   
   
2. She didn't dwell in her misery while she waited for Mr. Right to come along.  As single women, we often times use loneliness as a reason to complain, cry, and feel sorry for ourselves.  This is a slap in the face to the God who created us.  As the writer of Ecclesiastes teaches us, God has a plan and purpose for every season of our life.  If has called you to be single for a season, we are to live, laugh, and love in this season of our life.  He's not going to let us move on until we have understood the purpose of the present season.  He is always teaching us something.
   
   Ruth fully understood this.  While she could have just walked up to some of the young farmers, flirting and seducing them till one of them decided to take care of her, Ruth put her faith elsewhere.  She took care of herself and Naomi with what she knew, and let God take care of the rest.
   
   Ruth worked hard and persistently in the fields, picking up leftover grain for her and her mother-in-law to get by on.  She did not call special attention to herself, she did not curse God and turn from him, she took charge and did what she could without disobeying or disrespecting her heavenly father.
   
   
   
   Ruth 2:2
   "And Ruth the Moabitess said to Naomi, 
   'Let me go to the fields and pick up the leftover grain
   behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor."
   
   What can you be doing instead of just waiting?  Oswald Chambers says work, worship, and waiting are meant to be done all at the same time.  HowF can you accomplish this?  Glorify God with this wonderful season of your life!

She did not chase after other men.  Believe me, Ruth was a beautiful woman who knew how to respect a man.  I am sure she could have batted an eyelash in the right direction and easily hooked a man who would provide for her.  But Ruth wasn't that type of gal.  She knew that taking life into her own hands would resort in pain, chaos, and strife.  God had Ruth's best interest in mind, and he promised to give it to her in his own perfect timing.  Rather than fighting God and impatiently chasing what was in front of her, she waited faithfully for what she couldn't yet see because she knew God had a better way.  It was this choice that left her husband grateful and overwhelmed.  For this he and God blessed her.

Ruth 3:10
"The Lord bless you, my daughter," he replied.
'This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier:

You have not run after younger men, whether rich or poor.'"

Are you running after the young men in your life, or are you waiting patiently for the wonderful man God is preparing for you?  Is there a relationship or chase that you need to lay down before God?  Perhaps this is a warning to refocus...

For a more in-depth bible study on Ruth: Check out Lady In Waiting

Addiction Example 2

Attention from the opposite sex.

Another example of this addiction is found more commonly in twenty-somethings.  Your young but your adult, your finished with school, out on your own, and it's just time to get married.  After years of singlehood, there's no way you'd ever fall for a bum!  ...or is there?

I've seen this happen to far too many young women.  They spend a period of time waiting for Mr. Right, promising themselves nothing and no one will get in there way when it comes to marrying tall, dark, godly, and handsome.  

But suddenly Mr. Average Joe comes along!  Joe is nothing special.  He has an old car, no job, and a crustache.  Ew.  On first look almost any woman would turn him down without a second glance, but then you have Desperate Darla over there still waiting for Mr. Right.  At 27 years old, Darla isn't giving anyone the buzzer instantly.  So she decides to give Joe a small, long-shot chance.  They go on one mediocre ice-cream date and exchange numbers for future reference.

Little does Darla know how starved for male attention she is.  After a few weeks of chit-chat texting, Darla is starting to think Joe looks pretty good.  What was once a jobless, creepy, weird man is now the sender of text messages that make Darla's heart flutter.  Although Darla knows deep down that this man is going nowhere with his life, she admits to herself that she likes the idea of having someone check up on her every now and again, okay so maybe every night...but who's it hurting?  All her best friends have husbands to talk to daily, why can't she have someone to text throughout the boring parts of the day?

And so before you know it Darla and Joe are married and hating every minute of it.  She is fed up with his laziness and he can't deal with her high demands.  Why in the world did she get herself into this mess anyways?

Think back a little bit and you will see that the relationship started purely because Darla liked the attention of a male caller, (or should I say texter.)  Once again I tell you that the desire for male attention is not a bad thing in and of itself.  It becomes a sin when we let it control us, and when we go to it for comfort, protection, and fulfillment rather than going to God.  

The correct thing for Darla to do would have been to pray about the first meeting of Joe, asking God for a clear  yes or no.  If the feelings remained she should have taken each heart fluttering to God for a holy check-up to ensure if the feelings were purely rational or emotional.

Do you think you've been trapped by the feeling of attention rather than the choice of love?  Is there someone you're with right now solely for the sake of being with someone?  Are you afraid of being on your own?  Perhaps you should let God take a look at your heart and decide what you need for once. :) 

To the Girl Who Struggles With Being Single

To the Girl Who Struggles With Being Single,

     I know that you may look around and see couples from coast to coast.  Everyone has someone right?  The media, your sorority, your church, your parents, and Facebook, EVERYONE pressures you to hurry and find the right someone so your life can be complete.
    Young girl, I cannot tell you how many lies the devil has fed you through this.  You were made beautifully and wonderfully.  (Psalm 139) You are a complete, whole person, and you stand just as courageous singly as you do being 1/2 of a couple.  God has great big plans for you! (Jeremiah 29:11, Ephesians 2:10)  Some of these plans are to be completed while you are where you are!  This time in your life has the more freedom than any other!  Go and serve.  (Mark 10:45)  Let people see the hands and feet of Christ through your actions today!
     And that lonely feeling--the one that comes when PDA-official couples come around--it's a tactic of Satan. (1 Peter 5:8) Let God fill you with love, patience, goodness, kindness, and everything wonderful.  (James 1:17, Galatians 5:22-25)  God is bigger, greater, stronger, and more fulfilling than all of that.
     Some of us are in fact called to be single, therefore you should pray about having this calling on your life.  Others of us are indeed destined to be married, in which you should be strong and wait for the Lord to fulfill his promise to you! (Psalm 27:14, Psalm 138:8)  Your life is full and abundant not from having a man, but from having THE man. (Romans 5:8, John 3:16, 1 John 4:19, 1 John 4:8, John 10:10)


     God loves you and wants you to seek him like you do boys.  I promise you won't be let down. ;)


Sincerely,
    Right there with ya

I Will Wait for You: A Poem

A friend of mine shared this with me yesterday, I thought it was very powerful and full of the truth of the Word of God.  Hope this encourages you today. :) God Bless

Top 10 Lies Singles Belive

A while back I read a book by Stephanie Herzog, “God is your Matchmaker.”  The first time I read it I thought it was way too extreme for my taste.  I read the entire thing, but until now have not recommended it to anyone. 

However, a week ago I came across the book again and couldn’t remember for the life of me why I disagreed with it so much.  I quickly flipped through it and found page after page of awesome stuff I totally agreed with!  So why didn’t I like the book 3 years ago?  No idea. Perhaps my mind was so underdeveloped it scared me.  Anyhow, I’m recommending it to you now, and taking a piece out of it for this blog.

In the book Stephanie gives her list of the top 5 lies singles believe, and  I’m adding in the last 5 just to make it a nice round 10. In the book Stephanie goes into explanation for each one, but for time’s sake I am going to give you the headlines and I’ll let you all comment with your questions and concerns. By the way, I am trying out a new commenting system for the blog through Facebook, if it doesn’t work just use the old way of doing things.  Thanks, and enjoy. J

Top 10 lies singles believe:

1. Marriage is the key to happiness.
2. I’m 25 years old and still single—something’s wrong with me
3. Single means incomplete
4. Single means alone
5. God has many for me to choose from to marry
6. Guys don’t pursue me.  I should pursue them.
7. He isn’t texting me, I guess I’m not good enough for him either…
8. Everyone else has a boyfriend!
9. God is punishing me
10. Maybe I should dress like the girls who actually get attention from guys.

Comment your feelings below!

Relationships with Mr. Creflo Dollar

Alright, today's post is an amazing video about singleness, marriage, and everything in between by Creflo Dollar. I know if you're anything like me it's hard for you to just sit and watch a 10 minute video, but if you'll just play this video on your computer while your putting on your makeup, cooking, or searching Facebook, I feel like it will bless you. Creflo has some amazing points and some great reminders for our relationships. Besides who couldn't improve on their relationships a little? :)

I Know It's Hard Being Single But...

GOD HAS A PLAN FOR YOU.

It may not seem like it now because your single and the one you want to be with has no clue, and everyone around you has a significant other, but don't you doubt for a second that God doesn't have something amazing in store for you.

If you are doubting the Lord's faithfulness, think about these things:

• Singlesness is a GIFT. This is the only time in your life where you get to "do you." After this chapter its less you and more hubby, more kids, more work, more family. Use this time to practice your hobbies, your skills, your talents. Go hang out with your friends till midnight, leave the house randomly without telling anyone where your going. Read a book about something that interests you, learn to do something new, go play with the neighbor kids--WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO, NOW IS THE TIME TO DO IT! Trust me when I say relationships are time consuming and being single is a gift. Don't take it for granted. Use it wisely. Ephesians 5:15-17, Ecclesiastes 3:1

Ecclesiastes 11:9

"Be happy, young man, while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but nkow that ofr all these things God will bring you to judgement."

• Your focus should be on God, not marriage. Easier said than done, I know, but God will bless you no doubt. Romans 8:28 tells us that he has a wonderful plan for each of us if we just love him and trust him. How many meaningless hours a day do you spend thinking about a guy or wondering what your wedding will be like? Girls come on, is this really the most important thing in life? No! There is SO much more out there for you! You could be spending that time leading someone to Christ who was previously destined to spend eternity in Hell. The things of this life are temporary. BOYFRIENDS are temporary. The affections of your crush will not last, I'm sorry to tell you. But you know what is worth investing in? Do you know what is going to amount to something after this life? GOD. God, the soul's of men, and God's word, are the only 3 things that last for eternity.

Do something meaningful with your life.

• The more patient you are with God, and the longer you have to wait, the more you will enjoy your day when it comes. Think of the spoiled brat scenario: you know that girl growing up who always had everything she ever wanted? "Daddy, can I have a horse?" You go to school the next day, yup. She got a horse. Was she excited? Yeah, she was pleased with herself alright, did she tear up with gratefulness and give her daddy a huge hug? Probably not. However, if she had to wait for her horse, she would have either eventually forgotten about it and not wanted it anymore, or she would have looked forward to it for a long period of time, building up anticipation and excitement, love and joy, for the horse she desired.

We are the same way. The longer we have to wait for what we desire, the more we will cherish it when we do get it. However worrying and contemplating about it all day long does absolutely nothing. Matthew 6:27 "Who of you, by worrying, can add a single hour to his life?" Trust God to handle your heart, your relationships, your marriage, and everything that goes with it, and he will bless you beyond your wildest dreams. Proverbs 3:5-6

Psalms 73:23-26

Nevertheless, I am continually with you;

you hold my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel,

and afterward you will receive me to glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you?

And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

The Divine Dating Story

Well, I decided I have been annonymous long enough, today I shall share the Divine Dating story with you all. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey my name is Haley! I have a passion for God and teaching God's girls about Christian dating.

When I was 16 God radically transformed every area of my life, especially the dating part of it. Without going into details, I was very convicted about the way I was seeking attention from guys rather than God. A few months later, I knelt in my room and prayed. I prayed that God would take over my dating life and show me his will for dating. I prayed with all my heart that God would prevent me from dating another guy until it was the man I was to marry.

After that night I started to have a real hunger for wisdom in Christian dating. Why hadn't anyone ever talked about this? Why didn't we learn stuff like this Sunday school? So, I read books, lots and lots of books, all about Christian dating. I read all sorts of books, then summer I turned 19, I finished another dating book and as I sat there, I noticed that I had a lot of knowledge accumulated from these books. I can almost guess what most of them were going to say. I knew the rules, I knew what the bible said, I knew exactly what I wanted.

At that moment, God turned a light bulb on in my head and asked me why I hadn't shared that information with other girls. I was immediately attracted to the idea, but a bit nervous. I thought it over for a few weeks, and then decided to do it. One thing I have learned in my walk with God the past 4 years, is that when he asks you to do something, you probablly won't understand it, but you better darn well do it.

So, I prayed and told him I have no idea where you are going with this, but I'm transferring schools next week so open and close doors and lead me through this. So, blindly I found an old spiral notebook and began to write down everything I could think of--everything I had learned about dating that I thought was true and needed to be shared. This process took several weeks.

Then I rewrote everything and organized it a little bit, using another few weeks. After that I felt like God wanted me to put it into some kind of Powerpoint presentation, organizing it even more. So I spent months and months creating a Powerpoint presentation, all the while I was praying daily that God would show me what to do with it. Over time I developed a huge burden for the girls in my hometown, I knew I had to start with them. So I kept praying, when was I going to do this, how was I going to do this?

One day I mentioned it to my discipler and she said well, we get a month off for Christmas, why not do a weekly study and do it then? After looking at my schedule and praying some more, I decided it was perfect! I called up my youth pastor and asked if he thought it was possible and he was thrilled. 2 months later I held Divine Dating: a bible study for the girls of my hometown. We met over 4 weeks, and I shared everything that was on my heart about dating. People all over were praying for the study, and I feel like the girls really enjoyed it.

When some of them missed a night, they asked if I could put the notes online so tehy could review. The only way I knew how to upload a file was through a blog, because we had dabbled in blogging in one of my first semester classes. So, I made a blog, not really knowing what or how to do it, and I posted the notes on there.

After the 4 weeks were up, I didn't know what to do with this blog thing I had notes on. I had prayed about it for a while, and I decided to keep adding to it. At first it was just simple quotes about dating I found, but then it quickly grew into a place where I could share more stuff I had learned or forgotten to say. As time has gone on, I have really gotten into blogging. It has challenged me more than anything, because I study something, then I want to check it and back it up with scripture too. Because I am a public relations major and intern, I have had the excitement of applying new skills to the blog--double teaching me things!

Despite my learning advantage, the sole purpose of this blog is to encourage Christian girls who are both dating and single. I pray that this helps everyone who reads it. Please read, learn, comment, and APPLY this to your dating life! Requests on what to talk about are encouraged! God Bless.

Also, I would love to share my Divine Dating bible study with anyone and everyone! If you would like me to come teach or something you may contact me at dreamincreamin@yahoo.com.

The Divine Dating Story

Well, I decided I have been annonymous long enough, today I shall share the Divine Dating story with you all. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey my name is Haley! I have a passion for God and teaching God's girls about Christian dating.

When I was 16 God radically transformed every area of my life, especially the dating part of it. Without going into details, I was very convicted about the way I was seeking attention from guys rather than God. A few months later, I knelt in my room and prayed. I prayed that God would take over my dating life and show me his will for dating. I prayed with all my heart that God would prevent me from dating another guy until it was the man I was to marry.

After that night I started to have a real hunger for wisdom in Christian dating. Why hadn't anyone ever talked about this? Why didn't we learn stuff like this Sunday school? So, I read books, lots and lots of books, all about Christian dating. I read all sorts of books, then summer I turned 19, I finished another dating book and as I sat there, I noticed that I had a lot of knowledge accumulated from these books. I can almost guess what most of them were going to say. I knew the rules, I knew what the bible said, I knew exactly what I wanted.

At that moment, God turned a light bulb on in my head and asked me why I hadn't shared that information with other girls. I was immediately attracted to the idea, but a bit nervous. I thought it over for a few weeks, and then decided to do it. One thing I have learned in my walk with God the past 4 years, is that when he asks you to do something, you probablly won't understand it, but you better darn well do it.

So, I prayed and told him I have no idea where you are going with this, but I'm transferring schools next week so open and close doors and lead me through this. So, blindly I found an old spiral notebook and began to write down everything I could think of--everything I had learned about dating that I thought was true and needed to be shared. This process took several weeks.

Then I rewrote everything and organized it a little bit, using another few weeks. After that I felt like God wanted me to put it into some kind of Powerpoint presentation, organizing it even more. So I spent months and months creating a Powerpoint presentation, all the while I was praying daily that God would show me what to do with it. Over time I developed a huge burden for the girls in my hometown, I knew I had to start with them. So I kept praying, when was I going to do this, how was I going to do this?

One day I mentioned it to my discipler and she said well, we get a month off for Christmas, why not do a weekly study and do it then? After looking at my schedule and praying some more, I decided it was perfect! I called up my youth pastor and asked if he thought it was possible and he was thrilled. 2 months later I held Divine Dating: a bible study for the girls of my hometown. We met over 4 weeks, and I shared everything that was on my heart about dating. People all over were praying for the study, and I feel like the girls really enjoyed it.

When some of them missed a night, they asked if I could put the notes online so tehy could review. The only way I knew how to upload a file was through a blog, because we had dabbled in blogging in one of my first semester classes. So, I made a blog, not really knowing what or how to do it, and I posted the notes on there.

After the 4 weeks were up, I didn't know what to do with this blog thing I had notes on. I had prayed about it for a while, and I decided to keep adding to it. At first it was just simple quotes about dating I found, but then it quickly grew into a place where I could share more stuff I had learned or forgotten to say. As time has gone on, I have really gotten into blogging. It has challenged me more than anything, because I study something, then I want to check it and back it up with scripture too. Because I am a public relations major and intern, I have had the excitement of applying new skills to the blog--double teaching me things!

Despite my learning advantage, the sole purpose of this blog is to encourage Christian girls who are both dating and single. I pray that this helps everyone who reads it. Please read, learn, comment, and APPLY this to your dating life! Requests on what to talk about are encouraged! God Bless.

Also, I would love to share my Divine Dating bible study with anyone and everyone! If you would like me to come teach or something you may contact me at dreamincreamin@yahoo.com.

Homesick, Contentment, and Fulfillment

Music: Cannons by Phil Wickham

“The moon and the stars declare who you are..”

The past few weeks leading up to Spring Break my heart was extremely heavy. It longed for the country and nature and home. I was tired of all the concrete and lights and sidewalks, I wanted to be somewhere free and unrestricted. I wanted to see my mom and dad and little brother. I picture myself in the

front yard of my house just sitting there looking at the stars in amazement like I have so many times before. I remembered

laying on the trampoline with my Dad and talking about how big the universe is and how small Earth is. I wanted to see all my best friends, my family, my cat. The problem was I couldn’t go home. I had something school or activity-related every single weekend until a month after Spring Break.

One day my mom called me and she was even angry at me for not coming home in so long. I think she was just missing me like I was them, but either way it still made me even more homesick and lonely. I developed bitterness towards the city and where I was at. I began telling people how much I hated the city and how I couldn’t wait to graduate and leave this place. My heart just hurt for the place I called home.

Then came Spring Break. I went on a retreat to Colorado. Fresh air, springs, mountains, hiking trails, relaxed people, God, God, and God. What a refreshing time for my soul. God taught me so much my soul was overwhelmed with his goodness. Throughout everything he gave me a spirit of contentment and fulfillment. When I came back to Norman I felt so refreshed and full. I was happy to see this city. I felt like I had a big family here with all my friends from the BSU. I prayed for the city as soon as we pulled up, my heart had finally been moved so I could love this place too. I was completely fine with being there because i knew God had a purpose and a reason for placing me here at this time.

Next comes the best part—because we got home very late and I got zero work done over the break, I had previously planned on sleeping in Saturday morning, and then getting everything done around the apartment throughout the rest of the weekend. Mom and asked me one last time to come home, both of us knowing it probably wouldn’t happen. But before bed I prayed if it was God’s will he would help me get everything done earlier and give me time to go home.

The next morning I woke up after 10 wonderful hours of sleep, I had an extended quiet time, did my laundry and did as much of everything else as I could. By 2 o’clock I had checked off everything on my list, my roommates were still not home, and I was out of things to do. I took this as my sign. J So I through a couple things in a bag and hopped in my car for a surprise visit home!

On the way there I prayed adamantly that God would give me good strong QUALITY time with every person I encountered. I wanted to show everyone how much I loved and missed them, I wanted to show them that God cared for them as much as I did, and I wanted to show them how joyful I was to be there. I prayed that my focus would be on them, the people, and not just getting my errands and chores done.

Not surprisingly, God gave me what I asked for. He gave me lots and lots of wonderful sweet quality time with my parents, friends, and brother. Everyone I really cared about I got to talk to one-on-one and show them God’s love. It was the perfect end to a refreshing Spring Break. Just living and being with the ones I cherish the most. My spirit was overflowed with joy and happiness. My soul got to exhale even more that last 24 hours of my break.

I say this not to show you how blessed I am, or how great my Spring Break is, I show you this because it gives us insight to God’s heart. Remember the first of the story when I was longing for home and nature, I was unhappy where I was, I wasn’t letting God fill me, and my attitude began to show that? Sometimes we get that way about having a boyfriend or husband. We are unhappy, anxious, and impatient. The devil snatches us up by stealing our contentment. When we are not 100% relying on God it is easy to long for things we don’t have and belly-ache about the present setting. Again, this is a trick of the devil! God has a purpose for every time of our life and we are to fully take and grasp every second of it.

Ecclesiastes 5:7 says “Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God.” Complaining about being single and constantly day dreaming about having a boyfriend or husband is meaningless. God says to focus on him. Keep HIM at the center of your thoughts and stop focusing on what isn’t yours. Matthew 22:37-38 “Jesus replied, love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and the greatest commandment.”

When I got back from Colorado and my heart was fully relying on God, I was completely content with not going home. I was happy wherever God placed me, even in the city. Only when I found complete contentment in the Lord Jesus Christ was I able to go home. God isn’t going to give you the man of your dreams until you are completely content with being single and living for God. This is something I feel strongly about. He wants us to learn to be completely dependent and completely satisfied with him alone before he gives us what our heart truly desires. In Philippians 4:12 Paul says he learned the secret of being content in every situation. The secret is contentment! Not false contentment, but true 100% satisfaction with God alone.

The white board above my desk in my room at my apartment says, “I love you God. Even if you’re all I ever have.” This is a lifelong commitment, but it has taught me so much. If I can’t honestly read those words and mean them, I know I’m not living completely for God.

So trust God with your heart and he will give you what you need.

Valentine's Day..

Okay, so I know I promised I would finish talking about lust and tell you Amnon's story...but I am going to have to put that on pause because I simply can't pass up the opportunity to talk about something very important today...VALENTINE'S DAY!!

Now hold on, before you start gettin' all crabby and man-hater on me...give me a chance and read this through.

I know tons of people--including Christians--who look at Valentine's Day as a day where they have the excuse to be cranky, rude, and throw a 24-hour pity party because their single and this holiday is evil!

I can not tell you how horrible that looks to not only nonbelievers, but to other Christians, and the whole world in general. Pity-parties do not fly with me, and I'm most positive they wouldn't fly with God. How do I know this? Well open your eyes and look around, God gave us this beautiful world to live in. He gave us the sun, the moon, a bazillion beautiful stars, the birds, and yet he loves us more intimately than any of those things. But on top of that, he gave us grace. God knows you on a deeper level than any other human can ever connect. He knows places in your heart that your husband won't even discover. He sent his son to die just so you wouldn't have too. His heart aches for you to know him and love him with ALL your heart.

I can take this a step further, you live in America. I don't care how bad your life is, I know you have a home and Internet access somewhere (because you are reading this,) I would be money you have at LEAST one person who loves you and cares about you in your family, and also I bet money you are wearing some nice shoes and clothes. God provided that. We are the wealthiest nation, we have ABUNDANTLY more than the rest of the world, and yet we still complain about wanting more. How in the world do you think God feels about that?

How do you think God feels when we walk around complaining about the day because we don't have a boyfriend and we have to spend this whole stinkin' day alone?! I think God looks down, shakes his head, and wants to say, "You spoiled little brat. Have you not seen all that I have provided for you? Do you not clearly understand that I am enough and that I LOVE YOU? And no, I don't love you the way that ex-boyfriend loved you. I don't love you the way your current boyfriend loves you. I love you more extravagantly that that. I love you with all of creation. I gave my son for you. I love you so much I know every hair on your head and every thought you think. I want you to want me. I have a beautiful plan for us to live this life together. Take it, and appreciate all that I have done for you."

Listen girls, I have spent Valentine's Day alone for 4 years in a row now, and you know what? I love this holiday. (that was not sarcasm.) I admit the first was kinda hard because I had been so used to always having a boyfriend or two on this day, but I got over it. Instead of crying myself to sleep and wishing the worst for all my friends with boyfriends, I celebrate in a different way.

1) My daddy has always said he's my Valentine. So I usually get him a card or make him a gift to show him I love him. :) Ask your Dad to be your Valentine if you two have a good relationship. I think it will help ya'll become closer to each other. Even have a father-daughter date if you want!

2) I LOVE the cute little valentine's cards from elementary school! So I nearly always pick up a box of those to sign and hand out to my closest friends :) everyone loves getting one secretly haha :D

3) This year my church is having a Valentine's Day party so I am celebrating with them. We are playing games and eating a steak dinner together. :) If your church doesn't already do something like this, try setting one up with the youth program, or if your in college--try being the hostess of a dinner for high school students. Btw it's a single's party so its guaranteed no pressure and high fun!

4) If I wasn't going to the church, I would be joining my two best friends in watching Valentine's Day the movie, drinking hot chocolate, and making PINK pancakes!!

5) Dress up cute in pink and red, curl your hair, put on your best make up, and walk around with your curls bouncing and chin high because you are confident that your KING loves you and is ENTHRALLED with your beauty.

Meditate on these today if this is going to be an especially hard day for you:

Psalm 45:11

"The King is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord."

(Check out the rest of Psalms 45 if you want to really feel like a loved princess today. :)

Matthew 22:37-38

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and the greatest commandment."

Philippians 4:4

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: REJOICE!"

(not complain or feel sorry for yourself)

I love you all and if you need someone to talk to today feel free to call me. Use this day to embrace God as your Valentine. He deserves all the attention. MAKE IT a great day! <3

A few quotes..

I am starting to read a book called Lady in Waiting by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones. The book is about becoming God's best while waiting for Mr. Right. Hopefully I will have lots to share with you all through this book. Page 2 of Chapter 1 has a few quotes that I thought were pretty neat. They can give you a new perspective on what you're waiting for.

"I feel very strongly that marriage is not a higher calling than the single state. Happy indeed are those people, married or single, who have discovered that happiness is not found in marriage but in a right relationship with God." --Gary Chapman

"No one, not even the man you will marry one day, can make you happy--only Jesus can."

--a mother used to tell her little girl this regularly. This is an awesome thing to instill in a girl's mind, especially when the whole world is sending the message that prince charming will fix everything.

A Prayer for the Single

God give me strength today.

Strength to be single,

because this is your will for me at this time.

Give me a spirit of contentment and joy

for this segment of my life.

Pour your Spirit on me so I don't feel a longing

for a dating relationship.

Lord give me strength.

Help my thoughts and focus to stay on you Lord.

Captivate my heart totally and completely,

fill every space so I am completely full.

Lord give me strength today.

Phillipians 4:12-13

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through him who gives me strength."

Part 2: How to be Single

Part 2

How to be single

Singleness: It’s a gift! We take it for granted.

Only a short time in your life-celebrate!!

More free time and energy

- Enjoy Singleness!

o Work on your relationship with God.

§ 1 Corinthians 7:34-memorize.

o Love your friends more deeply.

§ Call them just to say hey, invite them to do fun activities with you

§ Girl’s night out!! :D

o Develop your hobbies and talents

§ Instead of spending all your time and energy with a relationship, try something new! If you like basketball, practice it and get better! Like to read then read!

o Enjoy the company of your family

§ Trust me, you may get annoyed now, but before you know it you will be moving off to college and then you will really miss them.

§ The time you have with them now, under their roof, is priceless.

§ Spend more time with your sister/brother, mother-daughter dates, learn from your Dad J

o Adopt a mentor/mentoree

§ Ask an older GIRL or WOMAN to mentor you..meet once a week to discuss godly things and life in general.

§ Or adopt a younger girl that you can pour into. Ask around at church, school, neighbors, etc. You’d be surprised how fun it can be!

o Study.

§ Schoolwork, ACT, scholarships, applications…

- Work on godly characteristics

o You don’t become a perfect woman over night when you get married…

o Practice being a godly wife now. If you want a godly husband, you must become a godly wife.

o Write a list of standards for yourself and slowly work on them:

§ Proverbs 31-study and go over in your quiet time. Add to list.

§ Ephesians 5:23- Christ-husband-wife. (Lots of evidence and explanation that we don’t have time for tonight)

§ Ephesians 5:33- Respect your husband. Work on respecting others.

§ Collossians 3:18- wives submit to your husbands, practice submitting to parents and authority

§ 1 Peter 3:1-6- Respect, purity, reverence, inward beauty, gentle, quiet spirit, submissive, obedient.

§ 1 Peter 3:8-9- harmony, sympathetic, compassionate, humble, blessing

§ Proverbs 11:16- kindhearted

§ Proverbs 11:22- discretion (Freedom to act or judge wisely on your own)

§ Proverbs 12:4-noble character

§ Proverbs 21:19- don’t argue or quarrel

What if you are struggling? Being single is hard work sometimes…

- Wait

o Song of Songs

o How many of you have read it?

§ It’s basically the romance-novel of the Bible. Very intense.

§ King Solomon and his wife/fiancé.

§ It’s is a beautiful love story portraying the way a marriage should be.

o Chapter 2:3-7

§ A girl head over heals in love with her husband. “faint with love” and guess what her advice is to her single friends?

§ “Daughters Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”

§ Read Ch 3:5

· Again, do not awaken love until it so desires.

§ Read and memorize Ch 8:4

· Don’t chase, lead, etc. (Covered more later)

§ Pray for a love like this.

§ Be a wall not a door. (Read 8:8-9)

- Pray and Trust God

o Phil 4:6-Pray, leave it, and go on. Repeat as necessary.

o Proverbs 3:5-6- Trust him with all your heart and he will make your paths straight.

o He will bring the right guy at the right time, don’t rush it.

o Pray that he will take away your desire to date until the time is right.-I did.

o Pray for God to fill you up and keep you satisfied as a single person.

o Chill, relax. Breath, it’s okay. Romans 8:28—he’s working for the good of us who love him

o Philippians 4:12

§ The secret to happiness is learning to be content in any and every situation. This includes singleness.

§ Verse 13 says I can do all things through him who gives me strength. Pray about it.

God has a plan for your life. He knows when everything is going to happen. We girls spend entirely too much time worrying about stuff we have no control over.

Freedom comes in knowing everything will be okay, and trusting God to step in and take control rather than you.

Breathe this week. Exhale control, inhale freedom.