Monday, July 11, 2011

The Story They Don't Tell You-Part 2

(continued from Part 1...)

A month later we go to a Christian leadership camp where of course she gets convicted again about her relationship. Julie opened up to me one night and shared how much it hurt her when she would talk about the great things God was doing and Josh would look at her with a blank face and ask questions like, "What are you talking about??" She was definitely starting to feel the pain of continuously trying to turn the relationship towards God.

So naturally, she went home and broke up with Josh once and for all. Not. Instead, Julie began to pray for God to make an obvious turn in the conversation toward their situation. God probably #smh'ed (shook his head) and said, "No Julie, you have to do this on your own to show me that you trust me."
A week went by, and Julie had a quiet time about being obedient to God in a timely manner. She knew exactly what God was trying to say. However she chose to wait and pray a little longer. Another week goes by and different situations and conversations are continually pushing her more and more towards the breaking up with Josh.

Then one morning she has a quiet time based on Joshua 24:15 which says, "Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve...” At that moment, Julie knew exactly what she needed to do, and she knew she needed to do it that very day. All day at work her usual radio station played break up songs rather than the normal cheerful ones. She played the conversation in her mind over and over again all day long. After work she came to me and we talked it through, I prayed for her, and she left to do what she needed to do.

I immediately said a huge prayer for both Julie and Josh. I also prayed that God would show me how to react when Julie returned. Genuienly concerned I tried to guess what Julie's emotions would be as she came back to my house, but I couldn't. An hour past and she still wasn't back yet. I prayed again and continued working on a project.

A few minutes later I heard a car pull up in the driveway. I ran to the front door to look and all I see is Julie running inside, her hands covering her face and her heart broken. She went straight for my arms and we hugged and she sobbed for several minutes. No words, just painful tears...

Finally she agreed to sit on the couch with a box of Kleenexes and explain what happened. After choking down a few sobs, she finally managed to get out the words, He hates me. This poor sweet girl was broken because Josh did not understand one thing about God or putting him first in her life. She continued sobbing, then choked again, He hates me so much.

I then spent the next hour comforting her and patiently waiting as I listened to her broken tears hit my shirt. As I sat there hurting for my dear friend Julie, it hit me. I felt like God reminded me and said, "This is why I have given you the passion to tell others about the blessings that come from trusting me and waiting for my perfect plan."

Isaiah 30:18 says,
Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;
he rises to show you compassion.
For the Lord is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him!

The passage goes on to say that when we cry out to God he hears us! Our pitiful cry for help from him is heard in his ears and held precious in his heart. It also says that no matter where we are in life, God is right there whispering in our ear which way turn.
"Choose for yourself this day who you will serve..."

I beg of you ladies, don't date someone who isn't leading you spiritually. Don't date anyone you wouldn't marry. Be very very careful with whom you chose to invest your time, heart, and emotions into. Wasting your precious pearls on the wrong guy just isn't worth it. God has so much more planned for you! Please, wait upon the Lord.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

The Story They Don't Tell You-Part 1

2 days ago I was reminded again why my heart feels so strongly about sharing the importance of waiting to you all. Over the course of the past few years I have watched one of my closest and dearest friends slip from grace and turn to boyfriends as her since of happiness and security. Although she only dated 2 guys, staying with the latter for almost a year, the pain and struggles she went through because of it was horrifying.

Now, I should explain that this was a very nice young man who treated her with the utmost respect. They crossed no boundaries sexually and did not become attached at the hip like other dysfunctional couples. In fact, to most outsiders their relationship was fine. However, from a Christian and biblical point of view, her relationship with this man was a cancer slowly eating away the joy that Jesus brought into her life.

So what was it that caused her to become miserable on the inside? Was he unfaithful? Rude? Gay? Nope. He wasn't leading her spiritually.

Now, my eyes tear up just thinking about it, but that's because I know the pain that comes with dating or marrying guys that don't take the lead. However, in case you don't know, let me explain a little further.

This girl, (her name is Julie) has always had a beautiful heart full of kindness and mercy. She loves to laugh and giggle and share Jesus stories with all of our friends. In fact, she's made a huge impact on her friends and family through her faith in Christ. I have watched Julie grow up stronger throughout her high school years and have loved hearing her stories as I went on to college.
Unfortunately, one day I noticed Julie had shied off from talking to me as much. Curious, I soon found out that she had a new boyfriend who I knew from school, named Josh. As soon as I saw her relationship status on Facebook my stomach sickened. Not because he is a horrible person, not because I am anti-dating, and not from jealousy at all. My heart ached because I knew this guy was going to suck the life out of her little by little. He had been to church once or twice, and definitely did not have the Acts 4:20 life that Julie had.

Throughout her senior year I watched her drift farther away from both me and God, talking to her about the situation a few times, but I knew deep down God was the only one who could speak to her in this situation. And so I did what I do best, I began to pray.

Over Christmas break I came home from college and that was when I did the actual Divine Dating bible study. One night after studying, Julie brought up her boyfriend situation. She knew Josh wasn't right for her. She knew deep down that things between them would never work out, however a few weeks later and they were just as smitten as ever. So again, I prayed.

Fast forward to May when I moved home for the Summer. Julie and I talked about the situation again, this time I was starting to get really heartbroken for her. She told me that God had been telling her the same thing, this man cannot lead you spiritually and it is of no benefit to either of you to stay together. By this point she had noticed her spirituality had slipped, she knew she hadn't been to church as often as she used to go. She also knew that many of our friends were unhappy about her relationship. But being the kindhearted person she is, she delayed. Not realizing that ever second delaying the break up, she was allowing Josh to get closer and closer to her, attaching himself to her heart.

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