Sex God: Book Review

Pause with me just a moment and think. I want you to go back to a place in your childhood when you really and truly felt alive. Think about the defining moment of your existence. For some of you it may be the day you met your best friend. For others it may be a special time between you and your father. Think about your moment, and think about how it made you feel. You were full, you were alive, you were connected. That is what Sex God is all about.

The book Sex God was written by Rob Bell and published by Zondervan in 2007. The book includes nine chapters of separate but related topics relating to spirituality and sexuality. One of my favorite chapters explained the essence of humanity and sexuality. Bell paints the picture that although we are less than angels, and more than animals, we still have a very wonderful purpose for our souls and bodies.

In other chapters Bell intricately describes the ancient Jewish weddings and all of their meaningful customs. As he explains the customs, he explains how this ties into the original meaning of many passages of the Bible, thus proving that God is a very intimate and passionate lover of our souls.

When I first began reading Sex God, I was thoroughly confused and doubtful about the whole thing. Sex and God. Who would think of comparing the two, much less combining them. Although Bell made some excellent observations in the first third of the book, I was still unsure of the message, but after persistent reading I was soon captivated by the book and read the entire thing in one sitting.

Author Rob Bell, is the founding pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church, a sister ministry of Mark Driscoll’s Mars Hill Church. Bell and his wife Kristen, along with their three children, reside in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Bell graduated from Wheaton College in Wheaton, Illinois. He also graduated from Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, California. Three of Bell’s books have been on the New York Time’s Best Sellers list: Sex God, Love Wins, and Velvet Elvis.

The subtitle for Sex God is, “exploring the endless connections between sexuality and spirituality.” This is definitely what Sex God is about. The basic human needs for passion, desire, and connection are made perfectly clear and tangible in this book. The only downfall is the end of the book, because it leaves you wanting to read and learn so much more. This would be an excellent book to study with a group of same-sex friends, or between a married couple. I think the book is more appropriate for post-adolescent minds, simply because the rich content might be hard for a hormone-filled teenager to handle.

I loved this book, and I hope you will too, should you choose to read it yourself. For more on Sex God and Rob Bell check out these links:

http://marshill.org/ 

http://www.zondervan.com/Cultures/en-US/Product/ProductDetail.htm?ProdID=com.zondervan.9780310263463&QueryStringSite=Zondervan,

http://www.amazon.com/Sex-God-Exploring-Connections-Spirituality/dp/0310263468

Article first published as <a href='http://blogcritics.org/books/article/book-review-sex-god-by-rob/'>Book Review: <I>Sex God</i> by Rob Bell</a> on Blogcritics.

What Are You Waiting For? (Book Review)

Sexting, pornography, and purity rings; do you ever feel overwhelmed by our overly-sexual culture?  Many teen girls are asking questions about sex, and Dannah Gresh has done the homework and recorded the answers in her latest book, What are you waiting for?

Written in 2011, this book is very modern and up to date on the latest sexual trends, misconceptions, and ideologies.  Gresh combats these ideas against the word of God for a truly refreshing and biblical view on sex.  Also the author of best-selling book, Lies Young Women Believe, and The Bride Wore White, Gresh has scrutinized the topic of sex and relationships relating to young women in the Christian community.  She is also the co-founder of Pure Freedom, a non-profit organization that helps equip men and women to live in purity.

A distinctive quality of What are you waiting for, is the strikingly transparent and straightforward attitude Gresh uses.  This type of approach is extremely appreciated in a religious community that never tends to hit the nail on the head when it comes to sex.  Gresh has accurately backed up all of her claims with both scripture reference and scientific research, something that is required for Christian authors to succeed in today’s world.

Although my personality clashes with the personality speaking in the book, I still found the book quite enjoyable and easy to read.  Some of the sentences could have used a few more edits, which led to awkwardly worded phrases, but considering the books message and reading level, I will discount these imperfections.

I would highly recommend this book for any young woman between the ages of 12 and 23.  New believers with relationship questions might find this helpful as well.  The book covers all of the basics, as well as presents new and thought provoking truths to stand upon.  Though it might be a lower-budget book, the message is definitely worth the time of the reader.  

(Disclaimer: “I received this book for free from 

WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review”.)

Relationships with Mr. Creflo Dollar

Alright, today's post is an amazing video about singleness, marriage, and everything in between by Creflo Dollar. I know if you're anything like me it's hard for you to just sit and watch a 10 minute video, but if you'll just play this video on your computer while your putting on your makeup, cooking, or searching Facebook, I feel like it will bless you. Creflo has some amazing points and some great reminders for our relationships. Besides who couldn't improve on their relationships a little? :)

Erasing Soul Ties Part 2

After you have confessed your sins to God specificaly and asked him to restore your spirit, heart, and body, the next step is to believe that it is done. Again, 1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Therefore he has already forgiven you immediately after you repent. This is God's promise to us so we know that it is true and never changing.

Pslams 103:12 says, "as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." This verse can reassure that after you confess once, your sins are erased and forgotten completely. These verses should give us complete confidence in our cleansed heart and the renewal of our pure spirit, however because we are human, the hardest part is often forgiving ourselves. For some reason we cannot comprehend why a loving and just God would choose to cover our sins with the blood of his son and accept our faults with open arms. However, it is true.

John 3:16

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son SO THAT whoever believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life."

Romans 5:8

"but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

God sent his son to die for you SO THAT he can forgive you and restore your life to the fullest! (John 10:10) So trust him in spite of your doubts. Claim one of these verses as your own and quote it over and over again until it becomes real to you. When you doubt, listen to the promises of God. He wants you to live in freedom, not bondage forever! (Galatians 5:13)

Perhaps this song could help you too. When I have trouble understanding God's forgiveness I play this on repeat over and over again until my heart believes. The lyrics are shown true in scripture, so this is God's promise to you. Be set free my dear sister.

Erasing Soul Ties

This blog talks a lot about saving yourself for your husband, waiting for him, and holding on to purity. While this is the ultimate goal, what happens if you have already lost your purity? What if you lived in recklessness before you turned to God? Will he forgive you? Will you still enjoy your wedding night?

The answer is yes.

God has the power to do anything. He can restore the prostitute to a new virgin, he can take away the guilt of premarital sex, he can take away the grief and pain of rape. All we have to do is wholeheartedly ask for it, and believe he will answer us. 1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

When two people have sex the bible says that "the two shall become one flesh.' So they are no longer two but one flesh." (Mark 10:8) Therefore, any person you have previously slept with has a piece of your heart, flesh, and spirit. This can cause extreme pain, guilt, and insecurity, not only now but also in a marriage later on. The only way to truly be healed and set free is to admit your sins to God specifically, admit the hurt, confess everything, and ask for forgiveness. Then trust God to keep his promise and restore your spirit.

Here is a prayer my friend recently showed me. It is called the "Soul Ties Prayer" because it is meant to break the soul ties between to sexual partners who were not married. I am sharing it with you below:

Lord I confess I have practiced (fornication, adultery or homosexuality). I choose to repent for my sinful

practices and ask that you break this sin with the power of your cross and cover my sin with Your Blood.

I confess all my ungodly spirit, soul, and body ties as sin. I thank you for forgiving me and cleansing me!

In Jesus name, I ask you to loose me from all soulish ties in past sex partners and ungodly relationships.

Lord, I pray that You take the Sword of Truth and separate my spirit from _________(name) so that I can be free

to be wholly given and presented to my mate. Return my spirit to me, and ________’s(name) spirit to them.

In Jesus name, please uproot all the tentacles of sexual bondage, of emotional longings and dependencies,

and enslaving thoughts. I bind, renounce, and resist any evil spirits that have reinforced those soul ties or

may have been transferred between me through evil associations.

I direct my personal spirit in the name of Jesus to forget this union and remember it no longer.

Lord, I confess that I have feelings of guilt and shame, I take my feelings of guilt and shame arising from

this relationship to your cross. In Jesus name I break these feelings off me.

Lord, I pray blessings over __________. (Pray blessings as the Holy Spirit directs you)

Please cleanse my soul and help me to forget all illicit unions so that I am free to give my soul to you and

to my mate. Father, I receive your forgiveness. I believe I am totally forgiven.

Pray this over each person you have messed around with/had sex with. It is really helpful and freeing! Trust the holy spirit to do his work with this.

True Love Doesn't Just Wait...

"True love doesn't just wait...it plans."

This is a quote taken from Joshua Harris' Boy Meets Girl. The theme in this chapter talks about how to plan for the best night of your life: your wedding night. In all reality, you don't just say you're going to remain sexually pure until marriage and expect it to happen. The devil is smarter than that and our hormones are trickier than that. When put in the right situation any vow will fail.

So how do you keep your purity if you really do want to

save it for your husband? You must plan out the details! You don't just go on a date with your boyfriend one night and randomly decide to have sex that instant, it is built up

tension. Chances are you two have probably been holding hands for a while, kissing a couple weeks or so, and maybe even other things that led you a little farther than you wanted to be physically. If you both decided to go that far, how do you keep the line drawn at no intercourse? Honestly, it's going to be very hard, if not impossible.

As Christians, we are called to a higher standard. You should know by now that God has called us to be PURE. 1 Thessalonians 4:8 says we should AVOID sexual immorality. Not tempt it, not play with it and try it out, but AVOID it all together completely. Similarly, 1 Corinthians 6:18 says FLEE from sexual immorality--that means run as fast as you can in the other direct

ion!

So think about the following situations, which ones are following God's Avoid & Flee policy and which ones are following the world's tempt & try strategy?

• Hanging out alone with your significant other in your bedroom.
• Side hugs only
• Hanging out at the mall with lots of friends
• Make-out sessions..
• Having a mentor regularly check up on your relationship with your man
• Sitting alone in a parked car
• Talking on the phone late at night

Some of these sound extreme, some of them make per

fect sense, but you should stop and think about how one thing leads to another. Even if you haven't had the chance to be in that type of situation yet, we all know you watch movies and the way sex progresses in the movies is the exact same way it progresses in real life. Your sitting in the car just having a nice chat, when the next thing you know...well, you know how the story goes.

The point is, you can never be too careful! The more you deny yourselves now, the more pleasure and enjoyment you will get to have on your wedding day! If you try all the crazy stuff now you will have fun, but you will also suffer long-term consequences afterwards. Stuff they don't tell you about in the movies or in the heat of the moment. Here are just a few examples of real women I have talked too:

• Of course, the obvious- STDS. not fun at all.
• pregnancy
• abortion-talk about a heartbreaking story.
• Regret- this one's the killer.
• Shame- And this one trumps them all. How are you supposed to go into a marriage knowing you can't even show yourself faithful before? (Don't worry, I will cover this issue soon.)

On top of these issues, there is also the horrible effect that sex has on your relationship. After sex couples are more likely to break up. Trust issues start to take shape, and the relationship tends to become mostly physical, throwing all the talking and really getting to know you stuff out the window.

Take it from someone who has heard all the stories and cried with all the friends. It's not worth it. Plan ahead and write out a list of boundaries for you and your boyfriend, or if your single, write it out for your next relationship. You know what tempts you, what causes your mind to wander and hormones to surge, nip sin in the bud and take yourself out of the dangerous situations. 1 Corinthians 6:18-FLEE FROM IT GIRL!!

Plan it out. Tomorrow I will give you some more ideas on boundaries.

More on Searching

I just realized that my past few posts have been about searching (Sooner Secrets, Jamie's Post entitled "Stop Searching," and the post I am about to make.)

You should know that I did not plan this out, and I don't believe it is coincidence that it keeps popping up. I think God has laid this subject on my heart for a reason. So listen up, this could be God's way of trying to tell you something. :)

Last night my friends and I went out dancing! I LOVE to dance, so I always have fun. :) Although, it is important

that you know me nor my friends drink, smoke, aim to go

home with a guy, or even let guys dance with us. We go to have fun and to dance with each other (but not ON each other.) We usually cause an uproar for being sober, because most people can't understand the concept of having fun while sober.

Anyhow, so towards the very end of the night I sat down for a couple songs and just watched everyone else. While I was observing these people in this dark, smoky, hormone-enraged young people area, I heard God speak very clearly to me about something.

We are all looking for something. Searching. Wanting. Striving.

"How does that become clear at a nightclub?"

Well, for one thing I am always amazed at the girls. Girls show up to clubs wearing little more than a tank top and shunderwear, and as if that didn't cause enough attention, they also bend over and dance provocatively with each other in front of guys to get there attention. THEN when guys come up behind them they go all out poppin and grindin and giratin' tryin to keep this guys attention, not even understanding what is going through the guys head.

As I watch the girls I know what it's like to want attention that badly. I understand wanting a

guy, but being that desperate is NOT okay. Do you realize that grinding on a guy like that causes his thoughts to go wild and yes he usually becomes sexually stimulated, and girls (usually without knowing) continue on from there, causing the guy to "ejaculate" in his pants. (I'm trying my hardest to keep it pg-13, but true.) Seriously, it is sad to know that girls are that desperate for guys attention. That is one step above prostitution. You're letting the guy use you for what he wants, and the only thing you get in return is some bad looks from girls across the room and satisfaction from watching this guy's friends drool.

I also think it's crazy how people get all dressed up, pay to get into these places, and yet they still cant dance or have fun until they have at least a few drinks in them.

And the guys stand around like vultures, waiting for the girls to get a little tipsy so they will bend over and give them a show. If their lucky they might even get to take her home for the night!

The point of this isn't to point out people's sins or cut them down. My point in describing all this is that we are all searching for something more. We must be wanting more out of life or we wouldn't go through so much trouble just to get some temporary satisfaction, a.k.a booty in this case. And it doesn't always come in this form. Some people get overly-wrapped up in hobbies, Facebook, drama, etc. For most girls though I see it being boys. Girls are always looking for Mr. Right, or Mr. Right Now. They want that attention, even if it ha

s to be negative sometimes. The thing is, none of this stuff fulfills you..

"SO WHAT ARE WE LOOKING FOR??"

Obviously we all have a hole in us we are trying to fill. The world says keep that sucker filled with sex, alcohol, and whatever else you wanna do. I know +20 billion people out there who can tell you they've tried this formula and the truth is it doesn't work. I can even attest to that.

"So how do we fill this gut-wrenching ache at the bottom of our soul that just keeps coming back?"

God. You may have never heard that before, or you may

have heard it so many times you are disgusted. Either way, hear me out. God, the one who created you--wants to have an open and intimate relationship with you. He wants to fill your life to the point of overflowing (Ephesians 3:19.) He wants to give you a life so exciting and meaningful that you don't have to search anymore, (John 10:10) A life free of living under others judgment. A life free of guilt, anger and sin.

"So why doesn't he just give me that?!"

1. God is a perfect gentlemen. He doesn't force himself on anyone. He has offered you the gift, now it is your choice as to accept it or not. (Romans 6:23, Romans 10:13, Romans 10:9-10) We were given the gift of free will. We get to choose whether we want to walk with God or not.
2. We have to seek him. Jeremiah 29:13 "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

"But I've heard people try it and their lives still suck."

1. It is not a half-hearted deal, this is a commitment. If you want to see God drastically change your life you have to surrender yours to him. (Luke 9:23, Matthew 22:37) Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight."
2. You have to believe...at least a little bit. Psalm 9:10, Psalm 37:3-6
3. You have to obey him. If you don't do what he asks it shows God that you don't trust him or value his instruction. Job 36:11-12, James 1:22, 2 John 1:6
4. Don't give up. It will undoubtedly be hard. In fact, you are promised persecution: John 15:18-20, 2 Corinthians 4:8-11, 2 Timothy 3:12. But hold on, because if you do you will be blessed, both here on earth and eternally. You will see the fulfillment and true satisfaction that comes from knowing and walking with God. (Hebrews 3:14, Philippians 3:14, Philippians 4:1, Philippians 4:19)

Lustin' with David part 2-Amnon

2 days ago I told ya'll I had read about David and Bathsheba and Amnon and Tamar. We discussed how David's lust consumed him to the point of adultery, murder, and lies. Although David eventually repented (2 Samuel 12:13) and God did forgive him, he did not escape the consequences of his sin. One of the consequences was that his son with Bathsheba died as a child. (2 Sam 12:14-19) Furthermore, David passed down the consequences of his sinfulness to all his children.

"As a result of David's sin with Bathsheba, God said that murder would be a constant threat in his family, his family would rebel, and someone else would sleep with his wives. All this happened as the prophet Nathan had predicted (2 Samuel 12:11-14.) The consequences of sin affect not only us but those we know and love. Remember that the next time you are tempted to sin." --from the NIV Study Bible

To study more about how sin is passed down through generations check out:http://www.rayfowler.org/sermons/exodus/the-sins-of-the-fathers/.

Anyhow, that is a completely different study, but last time we talked about David and his lust. Today we are going to talk about his firstborn son Amnon and his lust. Stay with me, this story is intense.

The Story of Amnon and Tamar

2 Samuel 13

"In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David."

The world 'love' here actually translates from Hebrew as "to have a sexual affection for," in today's words: lust. So basically this verse tells us that Tamar was Amnon's half-sister andAmnon lusted after her A LOT. He wanted to sleep with her. Kinda weird I know...but just wait.

Verse two says that Amnon got to the point that he was "frustrated with her," because she was a virgin and it seemed impossible for him to (excuse my language but,) "hit that."

If we stop right there we could have a whole lesson...I mean this guy is so sexually charged that he wants to have sex with his virgin half-sister. Yet because she is his half-sister, and is very honored and set apart for her virginity, he is completely frustrated to the point he wakes up "haggard" morning after morning. We all know this is obviously wrong, he should have stopped, had a heart check, prayed for forgiveness, and repented from these evil desires. Let's see what he does though.

Verses 3-5 tell that Amnon asked his friend for advice on how to lay his sister. His friend is so kind and sweet to help out (sarcasm) that he gives Amnon a plan of how to get his sister alone with him. And Amnon thinks its a great idea and follows the plan!

Verses 6-11. Amnon LIES about being sick and asks his father to send in his sister Tamar to take care of him. (See, guys are sneaky.) So Tamar comes to his room, cooks him bread, and serves it to him, and at this point there are other servants around the room. Amnon (being the prick he is,) says EVERYONE GET OUT!! He then asks his sister to feed him with her hands. (Come on now, how low does this guy get?)

Verse 12. When Tamar (who is just trying to take care of her sick brother,) goes in to feed him,Amnon grabs her arm and asks her to sleep with him. Tamar replies, "Don't my brother! Don't force me. Such a thing should not be done in Israel! don't do this wicked thing. What about me? Where could i get rid of this disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel."

Verse 14: "But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than he, he raper her."

Verse 15: "Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved (lusted) her. Amnon said to her, 'Get up and get out!'"

Amnon was consumed with lust. He had lied and lied to get what he wanted, and after he got it he still wasn't satisfied. In fact he was filled with hatred. I think he was filled with hatred because he was disgusted with himself and disappointed that he let it go that far.

My bible says: "The difference between lust and hatred is very short." It goes on to explain that because Amnon kicked her out of his room, it made it look like she had come on to him. And because there were no witnesses, people had to believe that. Also, because she was no longer a virgin, all of her chances of getting married were ruined. Later on Amnon is killed by his brother who seeks revenge on Tamar's behalf.

I don't think Amnon thought having sex would ruin someone's chance of marriage, hurt his family, leave him unsatisfied, and ultimately lead to his death.

Girls, right now your going through a time in your life where sex is obviously a huge pressure. Guys, friends, the media, possibly even you parents are encouraging you to submit to your lust and just have sex. This is not God's will for one thing. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8) And also, look at how giving into lust effected David's life. Then look at how it effected his family and his son's life.Look how it effected his sister. Sex may seem like a great way to satisfy your "fleshly desires," but in the end you will be left wanting more, unsatisfied, and pushed farther away from God--which is a miserable place let me tell you. This is what the devil wants (1 John 10:10) but God has something much better for you in store.

To read the full story of Amnon and Tamar look up 2 Samuel chapter 13.

What we can learn from David and Amnon:

• We reap what we sow. (Galatians 6:7-8, 2 Corinthians 9:6)
• Our sins are carried down through the generations. (Exodus 20:5, 1 Kings 22:51-53)
• Giving in to our worldly desires DOES NOT satisfy us. (2 Samuel 13:15)

About the rape, that is a whole other topic, but if you would like to talk about that feel free to ask me. As for now I am closing this post up. I hope ya'll learned a lot today.