Wait...Wait...Wait

My hope is in You, Lord
All the day long

I won't be shaken by drought or storm

A peace that passes understanding is my song

and I sing

My hope is in You, Lord

I will wait on You

You are my refuge

I will wait on You

You are my refuge

--My Hope Is In You, Aaron Shust

Life is full of waiting isn't it?  I know the single section just shouted a chorus of "Amens."  But what about the rest of us?  What about life after marriage?  What about the life of a child?

I remember the first time the desire of a long-term wait really sunk in for me.  I was sitting in a small, wooden desk with a package of 64-count Crayola Crayons.  My best friend, Bernice, sat right in front of me, and one of our other friends joined us as we discussed the grown-up details of our 6 year-old lives.

"I can't wait to be sixteen," Bernice let out with a long, hopeless sigh.  

"Sixteen?  Why, what happens at sixteen?"  I asked with wide eyes and a curious mind.

"Duh, Haley.  Everyone knows that when you turn sixteen you get a car and  you get to drive wherever you want."  she replied.

After a few moments of careful thought and consideration, I then announced to the group that I would be getting a pink convertible to match Barbie's on the day of my sixteenth birthday.

We were six.  A good ten years of waiting sat before us, and yet we had already planned out the date, the details, and the price our parents would have to pay.  What a torturous way to spend ten years of a young life.  If only we had that license, THEN we would be complete.  We would be grown women.  Wise, mature, sexy, confident.  Everything hinged on the day we turned sixteen and received our licenses.

But of course...everyone knows what happens when you FINALLY turn sixteen...

You have to wait two more years to become eighteen.

And when you turn eighteen, it's three more years 'till twenty-one.  And so, at some point we begin to realize that satisfaction, contentment, joy, and love do not magically appear after a period of waiting.  In fact, we are often just pushed on to realize something else we desperately need to make us happy.

You want to know the real truth, the secret to the waiting game?  Here it is:  you'll always be waiting for something.

As a single woman, we often waste our single years wishing for Mr. Right to come save us and make us happy and complete.  But what happens after we receive that?  You guessed it, more waiting, wanting, and discontentment.

Paul clearly tells us the secret to this never ending wait in Philippians chapter 4.  First, look at verse six:

 "Do not be anxious about anything, 

but in everything, by prayer and petition,

with thanksgiving,

present your request to God."

Then jump down to verse twelve:

"I know what it is to be in need, 

and I know what it is to have plenty.

I have learned the secret of being content 

in any and every situation,

whether well fed or hungry,

whether living in plenty or in want."

As a Christian on earth, you will always be waiting and watching for something more, something better...something holy.   This is because our husband has not come for us.  He is sitting on the throne in heaven watching and praying for us, waiting for just the right time to rescue us from all things evil, thus redeeming us to the one our soul desperately longs for.  Yeah, now that's something worth waiting for.

So what do we do in the mean time?  Worship, work, and wait.  

Ecclesiastes 8:15-16 says:

"So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad.  Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun."

And 1 Corinthians 10:31

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

And also, John Waller says,

"I will serve you while I'm waiting, I will worship while I'm waiting."

Put your hope and trust, your pains and struggles, and your desires and longings in God's hands and he promises to never let you go.  

He will NOT leave you in despair, I promise you.

"God, the one and only--I'll wait as long as he says.

Everything I hope for comes from him, 

so why not?"

Pslam 62:5-6 (MSG)

Guard it!

As girls living after Genesis 3:16, I think many times we look around and say, “Hey there’s a male, perhaps he could love me and care for me...I think I’ll go give him my attention!”

Obviously our thoughts aren’t that blunt, but our hearts sure are. The sad thing is we don’t even notice we’re doing it most the time…it’s just the curse of woman.

Satan has twisted our minds and desires so much that we think it’s normal, healthy, and natural for women to throw themselves at men—when the truth is, women were not made to be like that. There’s a reason we were created with the desire to be pursued—the desire to be the princess rescued by the prince.

When we women turn around and seek after the men that interest us, we often wind up hurt and confused, wondering if he really even loves us. Duh! That’s because your heart was made to be pursued. It wasn’t meant to be thrown around to whatever pig comes running up.

The other day I was praying and I God laid this on my heart:

Daughter of the King,

Princess,

Beautiful creation,

I have created every intimate detail about you. I know your thoughts, your heart, and your desires— all of which are wonderful and beautiful. I made you the way you are for a purpose and a reason. You may be missing the reason, but I still love you regardless.

Out of all the special things about you, the dearest to me is your heart. Here is where I have placed both your emotions and your desires, the two most powerful things within you. Here is where I give the choice to you—love me or reject me. Your heart is where people look to either see more of me, your creator—or more of your selfish ambitions that lead to destruction.

You see--your heart is something so wonderful, so sweet, and so precious, that it was made to be pursued. Your heart is worth being pursued. Don’t throw your treasures, gifts, and secrets at every male you meet. In fact, I want you to guard it above everything else. Keep it carefully locked safe and sound in my hands. Give it to me and at the perfect moment, I promise I will place it in the right hands.

Remember my promise to give you something so amazing that all of your temporary pain and waiting will seem silly. Hold tight to my hand, and I will lead you to my plans for you. Please, trust me and I will lead you there, into the Promised Land.

I love you and want to give you the best,

God your Father

Proverbs 4:23

“Above all else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

Distracted from Love

I wonder if I am the only one that this happens to...

Every time I get going good, really focusing on God, it seems as though 3 or 4 boys will pop up out of nowhere and begin to show interest in me. These aren’t usually guys I would consider dating, much less marrying—but nevertheless they pop up and become brief little distractions in my life.

I don’t think this is by coincidence at all. You see, Satan is smart; and he knows very well what woman was cursed with in the garden of Eden. Genesis 3:16 says, “And your desire will be for your husband…” If you have never studied the curse of woman after the fall, you really ought to look into it—it captures the struggle of our entire womanhood.

Women werecursed with a deep, longing desire for a husband; someone to love andpursue them, someone to tell them they’re beautiful and worth fighting for, someone to hold them tight and protect them when scary things happen—it’s the nature of a woman!

Because of that curse, from birth till death we see women constantly seeking the affection and attention of a man. For little girls, it’s daddy. For teenagers it’s any boy whom shows interest; twenty-somethings want someone to put a ring on it; and the married women always want more out of their husbands.

This curse is obviously warped by the devil and often used as a big distraction from God. Countless times I have seen awesome Christian girls who let this desire take over them…they settle to date these horrible men who not only aren’t leading, but they fall severely short of treating these women like the beautiful princesses in Christ that they are.

In a book by Paul David Tripp he says,

“It is not wrong to desire the tender attention of your husband. It is wrong to be so ruled by it that your days are filled with bitterness because of its absence and your nights are filled with manipulative attempts to get it.”

Even Jesus struggled with accepting God’s desire over his own. Luke 22:42 But because we call him Lord, Lord—we know in the gut of our desires that our wonderful father has a much bigger and better plan for us in all of this, if only we will wait and trust him.

1 Peter 5:7
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

Don’t let the devil use your desire for a husband against you today. Remind yourself that you worship the one true GOD, not the feeling of love. 1 John 4:16, God IS love. Get some.

The Story They Don't Tell You-Part 2

(continued from Part 1...)

A month later we go to a Christian leadership camp where of course she gets convicted again about her relationship. Julie opened up to me one night and shared how much it hurt her when she would talk about the great things God was doing and Josh would look at her with a blank face and ask questions like, "What are you talking about??" She was definitely starting to feel the pain of continuously trying to turn the relationship towards God.

So naturally, she went home and broke up with Josh once and for all. Not. Instead, Julie began to pray for God to make an obvious turn in the conversation toward their situation. God probably #smh'ed (shook his head) and said, "No Julie, you have to do this on your own to show me that you trust me."

A week went by, and Julie had a quiet time about being obedient to God in a timely manner. She knew exactly what God was trying to say. However she chose to wait and pray a little longer. Another week goes by and different situations and conversations are continually pushing her more and more towards the breaking up with Josh.

Then one morning she has a quiet time based on Joshua 24:15 which says, "Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve...” At that moment, Julie knew exactly what she needed to do, and she knew she needed to do it that very day. All day at work her usual radio station played break up songs rather than the normal cheerful ones. She played the conversation in her mind over and over again all day long. After work she came to me and we talked it through, I prayed for her, and she left to do what she needed to do.

I immediately said a huge prayer for both Julie and Josh. I also prayed that God would show me how to react when Julie returned. Genuienly concerned I tried to guess what Julie's emotions would be as she came back to my house, but I couldn't. An hour past and she still wasn't back yet. I prayed again and continued working on a project.

A few minutes later I heard a car pull up in the driveway. I ran to the front door to look and all I see is Julie running inside, her hands covering her face and her heart broken. She went straight for my arms and we hugged and she sobbed for several minutes. No words, just painful tears...

Finally she agreed to sit on the couch with a box of Kleenexes and explain what happened. After choking down a few sobs, she finally managed to get out the words, He hates me. This poor sweet girl was broken because Josh did not understand one thing about God or putting him first in her life. She continued sobbing, then choked again, He hates me so much.

I then spent the next hour comforting her and patiently waiting as I listened to her broken tears hit my shirt. As I sat there hurting for my dear friend Julie, it hit me. I felt like God reminded me and said, "This is why I have given you the passion to tell others about the blessings that come from trusting me and waiting for my perfect plan."

Isaiah 30:18 says,

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;

he rises to show you compassion.

For the Lord is a God of justice.

Blessed are all who wait for him!

The passage goes on to say that when we cry out to God he hears us! Our pitiful cry for help from him is heard in his ears and held precious in his heart. It also says that no matter where we are in life, God is right there whispering in our ear which way turn.

"Choose for yourself this day who you will serve..."

I beg of you ladies, don't date someone who isn't leading you spiritually. Don't date anyone you wouldn't marry. Be very very careful with whom you chose to invest your time, heart, and emotions into. Wasting your precious pearls on the wrong guy just isn't worth it. God has so much more planned for you! Please, wait upon the Lord.

The Story They Don't Tell You-Part 1

2 days ago I was reminded again why my heart feels so strongly about sharing the importance of waiting to you all. Over the course of the past few years I have watched one of my closest and dearest friends slip from grace and turn to boyfriends as her since of happiness and security. Although she only dated 2 guys, staying with the latter for almost a year, the pain and struggles she went through because of it was horrifying.

Now, I should explain that this was a very nice young man who treated her with the utmost respect. They crossed no boundaries sexually and did not become attached at the hip like other dysfunctional couples. In fact, to most outsiders their relationship was fine. However, from a Christian and biblical point of view, her relationship with this man was a cancer slowly eating away the joy that Jesus brought into her life.

So what was it that caused her to become miserable on the inside? Was he unfaithful? Rude? Gay? Nope. He wasn't leading her spiritually.

Now, my eyes tear up just thinking about it, but that's because I know the pain that comes with dating or marrying guys that don't take the lead. However, in case you don't know, let me explain a little further.

This girl, (her name is Julie) has always had a beautiful heart full of kindness and mercy. She loves to laugh and giggle and share Jesus stories with all of our friends. In fact, she's made a huge impact on her friends and family through her faith in Christ. I have watched Julie grow up stronger throughout her high school years and have loved hearing her stories as I went on to college.

Unfortunately, one day I noticed Julie had shied off from talking to me as much. Curious, I soon found out that she had a new boyfriend who I knew from school, named Josh. As soon as I saw her relationship status on Facebook my stomach sickened. Not because he is a horrible person, not because I am anti-dating, and not from jealousy at all. My heart ached because I knew this guy was going to suck the life out of her little by little. He had been to church once or twice, and definitely did not have the Acts 4:20 life that Julie had.

Throughout her senior year I watched her drift farther away from both me and God, talking to her about the situation a few times, but I knew deep down God was the only one who could speak to her in this situation. And so I did what I do best, I began to pray.

Over Christmas break I came home from college and that was when I did the actual Divine Dating bible study. One night after studying, Julie brought up her boyfriend situation. She knew Josh wasn't right for her. She knew deep down that things between them would never work out, however a few weeks later and they were just as smitten as ever. So again, I prayed.

Fast forward to May when I moved home for the Summer. Julie and I talked about the situation again, this time I was starting to get really heartbroken for her. She told me that God had been telling her the same thing, this man cannot lead you spiritually and it is of no benefit to either of you to stay together. By this point she had noticed her spirituality had slipped, she knew she hadn't been to church as often as she used to go. She also knew that many of our friends were unhappy about her relationship. But being the kindhearted person she is, she delayed. Not realizing that ever second delaying the break up, she was allowing Josh to get closer and closer to her, attaching himself to her heart.

(Click here for part 2)

"Can this man pastor me?"

First of all let me apologize for not posting in a week, I have had an insane week between finals, moving around, and starting a new class. Blogger was also down for a day or two in there somewhere. Anyhow, my life is returning back to normal a little bit and so I am back! God's been teaching me so much this past week too! I have lots to share with you all :)

One of the first things that sticks out in my mind, comes from a video my friend and I watched the other day. I will post the whole video on here because I highly recommend watching it, however if you cannot spare 11 minutes you can watch from 6:30-7:45 and know what I am talking about.

Anyhow, the part that God keeps bringing up in my mind though is the part where the speaker recommends women to ask themselves before anything else, "Can this man PASTOR me?" Pastor Bryant makes this point because he realizes this is the most important thing to look for in a husband. He clearly explains that Adam not stepping up is the downfall of man. That is how Adam fell from perfection. I know I have talked about this a little bit on here before, but you can also expect more to come on this topic.

Most girls say that want a "Christian man" to marry, but they do not realize that it is so, so much more than that. Wives who are spiritually stronger than their husbands are often miserable. It's not the way we were meant to be. Men were created to lead us towards God (1 Corinthians 11:3.) They are our protectors, prayer warriors, and spiritual leaders. Ladies, please hold out for a man who can lead.

Start praying now for a husband with initiative, wisdom, and discernment. Pray for a man who is wise enough to follow the will of God and who has enough initiative to seek not only you, but GOD with all of his heart and soul. A man of God is a pursuer. He seeks God on a daily basis, looking, listening, and striving towards the ultimate goal of heaven (Philippians 3:14.) Therefore, a godly man is going to have the natural characteristic of pursuing you.

Do NOT throw yourself at any guy. Do not manipulate, text, interrogate, or anything else in order to make him want you. God already has your husband picked out, and when this man reaches the state of leading you spiritually, he will undoubtedly pursue after you like he has God. Wait for it sister, it will be worth it.

Redefining "The Wait"

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

--"While I'm Waiting" lyrics

Life is short and fleeting. The bible says the days are evil. We don’t even know if tomorrow will come or not. The only thing we can count on is what lies in front of us, the present, the here and now.

Single ladies, your life does not go on hold because you are waiting for prince charming.

Dating ladies, your life does not stop because you’re waiting for him to pop the question.

Engaged women, God has a purpose for the time in your life between engagement and marriage.

Married women, your life isn’t finished because you are married; God has many plans for you still.

One of my friends recently pointed out to me that we have this horrible assumption that we must be absolutely still and do nothing while we are waiting. Waiting has a horrible connotation for our society—when we think of waiting we are instantly irritated and upset—we just want it now! Give it to us now! I shouldn’t have to wait! I’m above this!

“You’re waiting because you’re not ready yet. Wanting it now is pride.”

—a wise man once said

God has his plans made up for us (Ephesians 2:10.) He has everything working out in his perfect timing, we just have to exhale and trust him. This time of waiting, is a time of blessing and growth. God uses times of wait to stretch our patience, deepen our dependence on him, and bring us closer to his love and protection.

God has been really challenging me to redefine the word “wait” in my life. I no longer want to think of it as annoying and “taking forever!” I now want to think of waiting as a prolonged period of patience-enduring faith; an opportunity to grow spiritually and deepen my walk with the Lord. I think this is what God intended for the word “wait.”

Isaiah 40:31 says,

“Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.” God promises the wait will strengthen our character and renew our trust and energy for following him.

So stop focusing on what everyone else is doing around you with their lives. Stop trying to guess what God is going do for you, stop trying to manipulate situations to make things happen faster, and stop screaming at the microwave for taking too long--everything will happen in God’s perfect timing. Be patient, and trust him.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven…”

Encouragement to You, Princess!

Beth Moore has a wonderful message to all women in the video. Besides addressing relationship issues, she directs her focus towards reensuring us that we are children of God and our purpose is higher than the calling of those in the world. She encourages women to step up and live like the princesses they are.

And if you don't believe you are a princess, perhaps you should check out Pslams 45.

Verses 10 and 11 say this:

"Listen, O daughter, consider and give ear:

Forget your people and your father's house.

The king is enthralled by your beauty;

honor him, for he is your lord."

Forget your people he says! Go and be one with God, never mind what the world says, never mind what your horrible boyfriend says, GO and be one with God. Leave now and enter into the world of joy and love that God has graciously prepared for you. God almighty thinks you are a beautiful, breathtaking princess, who are you to say that you're not?

The creator of the universe himself, thinks you are a thousand times more beautiful and more precious than even Kate Middleton at the royal wedding last night!

John 13:34

"A new command I give you: Love one another.As I have loved you, so you must love one another."

Princess, you were born to live a life of purpose, passion, and power. But you have to trust God with your everything. You have to trust God with who you date, who you marry. You have to trust God when he tells you he loves you and thinks your amazing just the way you are.

Ephesians 2:10

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Princesses don't settle for scraps. They don't settle for an ordinary life either. Royal princesses were born to lead and be examples. So lead the girls around you and younger than you. Step out in faith and claim your role as a royal child of God with a purpose.

"Children of God, sing your song and rejoice

For the love that He has given us all

Children of God, by the blood of His Son

We have been redeemed and we can be called

Children of God"

--Third Day "Children of God"

God Has Everything Under Control

Hosea 12:6 “But you must return to your God; maintain love and justice, and wait for your God always.”

Tenth Avenue North- By your side

"Why are you looking for love? Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In high school I often wondered if I would have a high school sweetheart or not.

I would spend lots of time analyzing who it would be and if we would eventually get married like the stereotype suggests. In junior college, every new guy I met was possibly my future husband! At this point I wasn’t consumed by it, but I was entertaining the thoughts in my head a lot more than I should have been: (where would we live? Will we end up going to the same university after this? What will it be like bringing him to thanksgiving with our family?) Now, these thoughts are by no means straight evil. They are however, focusing on what is below rather than what is above. Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” If we dissected those thoughts, I am afraid we would be terribly ashamed to find out that compared to God almighty, these thoughts are useless garbage.

Also, Philippians 3:8 says, “What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.” So if we are dwelling on these thoughts; daydreaming about the future and what will happen: (ex: Is he going to ask me out? What will I wear if he does, how should I do my hair?) we are not focusing on God. I realize it is humanly impossible to think about God every minute of every day, BUT it should be our goal to worship him in everything we do. That means honoring him in our thoughts as much as possible and praying as much as possible (1 Thessalonians 5:17.) If our thoughts are not holy like he is, we should bring them under Christ’s submission (2

Corinthians 10:5.)Furthermore, by worrying we are telling God that we don’t trust him. At OU I find many girls who are in serious God-fearing relationships and who are about to graduate college. In this situation their worries don’t consist of jumping to conclusions about every guy they meet. Instead, their thoughts focus on knowing if he is the right one or not.

(Is this the man you picked out for me God? I know you confirmed it once, but I’m still not sure. What about is background? You confirmed it again, but what about his family, are those going to be my relatives? Okay, okay, so you clearly spoke to me and told me this is THE guy, but is it really?)

These thoughts aren’t trusting God. God is truth (John 14:6) and truth doesn’t change. If God speaks something to you it is truth. When the scriptures say to do something he means it, he’s not going to change his mind 3,000 years later.

Earlier this week I was worrying about how I would act if I were to begin a God-centered dating relationship. I had never done that, I had no clue, and suddenly I was frantic to figure it out! Then like a gentle whisper, God let me know that he already had a plan and everything was already taken care of. I started to say, “But…”

“Shh…if you will just let me lead, I will give you everything you ever wanted.”

Pslam 37:4

At that point it became clear to me. We can think about it all we want. We can worry, we can analyze, we can discuss and pray and cry and wonder—but in the end, God’s plan will prevail either way (Proverbs 16:9.) So what good does it do to fret?

1 Peter 5:7 (NIV) “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

AKJV: “Casting all your care on him; for he cares for you.”

ISV: “Throw all your worry on him, because he cares for you.”

If God has everything under control, why not let him do it?

Matthew 6:25, 26-27

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”