Courageous: How Women Can Do Their Part

Thanks to The House FM, my friends and I watched a free showing of Courageous last night.  Everyone loved it.  What a touching film it was.  Although the message of the movie is directed at fathers, there are important lessons all of us can benefit from.

As a student of relationships, marriage, and broken people, the message to fathers and men definitely came close to my heart.  I have written several posts dealing with the same message:

My Plea to the Guys
A One Woman Man
Making the Stand
"Can this man pastor me?"
Rise up Warrior!

Although I highly recommend men watch the film and read these previous posts, I will not be speaking to the men in this post.  I am keeping the same topic, yet speaking to the young ladies, single or not.  While it is true that following and submitting come easiest when your husband or father is stepping up, we have no excuse to control when they are passive.  In fact, our role requires just the opposite.

First, we need to examine our hearts, for from them everything else flows (Proverbs 4:23.)  As I said in my post Trust, Follow, Submit, our relationship with God directly affects our heart attitude toward the male leader in our life, (whether it is a father for a single woman, or a husband for those who are married.)  Do you trust God even when you don't agree with what he is doing?  Do you blindly follow him every day of your life, trusting that he will guide you with his right hand?  Do you love him whole heartedly without a second thought regarding your circumstances?

When we can answer yes to all these questions, a gentle and submissive spirit (1 Peter 3) will follow quickly after.  God is the ultimate source of our love (1 John 4,) and without him, it is impossible for us to look past our pride and fully love and respect the men in our life--regardless of how they may or may not step up.

Ephesians 5:21 says, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."  How in the world do we expect to see this happen when we haven't even submitted to Christ?  How can you obey your father with respect when you don't see Christ as the leader of your own life.  When you put your whole faith in God, you are agreeing to follow his protection, guidelines, and gifts.  God puts parents in the lives of single girls to protect, pray, and guide them during this journey.  Respect the man God has provided for you.

After we get our hearts right, it will be easier to control our tongues.  Matthew 12:34 says "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks."  This is why we must do things in the order in which God designed them.

Our speech is important because from one tongue, we have both the power to lift up and destroy (James 3:9-10.)  So if you want your husband or father to step up and lead you according to God's design, which do you think will be more helpful in accomplishing that goal?

            A) "Ugghh, Dad, why can't you just be more like Jamie's Dad?!  He always takes her on father-daughter dates, and buys her new clothes.  All you want to do is sit around and watch football!  What a pathetic excuse I have for a father!"

            B) "Dad, thank you so much for providing me with food in my belly and a roof over my head.  I am grateful to have a father in my life.  You have so much power that naturally lies within you.  It is a joy when release such leadership skills around Mom and I.  It's almost like watching Clark Kent turn into Superman!  I love you and am praying for more opportunities to see Superman."

If you guessed "B" you are correct.  Men have a deep need to feel respected, and yelling in their face that they are worthless only tears at their pride and makes them feel just that...worthless.  Ephesians 4:29 says we are to only speak words that lift others up according to their needs, words that will benefit those who listen.  I don't think arguing and complaining benefits anyone.  In fact, Philippians 2:14 says we are to do everything without complaining.

When a complaint comes to your mind from now on, why don't you try to flip it and say what you are thankful for instead.  For instance, say the microwave at home keeps messing up and this time you've really had it.  One more spark and your fuse is lit!  Instead of reacting angrily and complaining/screaming at your husband, how bout this:  "I am so grateful for all the cooking appliances you've provided me with dear.  I could stop and complain about this half-broken microwave, or I could turn around and take full advantage of an oven that works beautifully.  In fact, I think I'll show my appreciation for this oven by baking you a cake!"

A little over the top maybe, but you get the picture.  How can you lift up the man in your life this week?  What are some ways you can show him respect?  Do you pray for him regularly?  Are you submitting to him out of reverence for Christ?

A One Woman Man

Well I don't want the whole world, no

The sun, the moon, and all their light

I just want to be the only girl you love all your life

       --The Band Perry 

This one is for the guys--single guys that is.  Here's a little something to think about as you roam around the earth, doing what guys do.

I want you to know that you already have a wife.  She's out there, waiting for you.  God predestined the two of you to be together before the dawn of time.  He designed her personality, charm, body, style, character, and heart to match yours.  She is your ezer, as it translates.  Ezer simply means helper, and encourager, someone who will stand right by your side through thick and thin.  That's right, she was made to help you specifically!


God is going to give you this awesome woman to be your life partner someday.  In fact, he has been preparing both of you for quite some time now, just waiting for the perfect moment to bless both of you with each other.  Now, I will be honest, I do not know who she is.  I do not know your future wife, nor what she believes or acts like.  But, if she is anything like the wonderful Christian women in my life, I would bet a large sum of money that she thinks about you pretty often.

With all the Christian dating books, rings, and movements going on, I think women are really starting to understand the importance of their future marriage.  Almost all of my solid girl friends keep husband journals, yes, that's what we call them.  In these journals young ladies spend hours upon hours, praying and writing to their future husband.  

Many of these same Christian women are also spending lots of time learning about guarding their heart, so they won't waste time getting hurt by a Bozo.  They may be reading books, talking to God, or asking for advice, but one way or another I am sure she is faithfully waiting for you; her guide, her partner, her leader.  


Thinking about this type of faithfulness makes you wonder, what does she expect from you in return?  I think The Band Perry nailed the desperate cry of every woman's soul in regards to marriage, when the leader singer says, "I just want to be the only girl you love all your life."


Yes, even before you know your wife, she wants your commitment.  I realize this may be a huge and scary thing to do, but don't you want to be that kind of a man for her?  Eric Ludy in "When God Writes Your Love Story" puts it this way:

"Give her your heart, mind, and body now!  It's easy to run around from one shallow relationship to the next, meeting your own selfish desires.  But it takes a real man, a real lover, to keep one woman satisfied for life.  I guarantee you, the rewards of such a decision are off-the-charts amazing.  And she'll love you like a man longs to be loved."

Stop and ask yourself a few questions.  Would your wife be happy with the way you live your day-to-day life?  Would she feel loved or hurt by the way you give other women what is promised to be hers?  How can you make a commitment to her now?  What can you be praying for her about?  

Do you have what it takes to be a one woman man for life?

Trust, Follow, Submit: How your relationship with God will affect your marriage.

The bible gives us a clear description of the character of a godly wife.  "Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." Ephesians 5:24  And the verse continues on to say the husband is the provider and protector for the wife.  I don't know about you, but if someone is providing and protecting me, I think I would have a  large amount of trust and comfort with them.

Some of you disagree with me.  The thought of letting a man lead you while you blindly follow scares you to death.  That's fear creeping in, and that fear is not of God (1 John 4:18, 2 Timothy 1:7.)  This fear of not being in control, and not knowing the outcome of our future, reflects our faith in God.  In fact, it starts with God.  If you can't blindly follow God, and trust that he will provide for you, how do you plan on following your husband?

As a single woman, you should be using each experience and circumstance as a way to fall back and depend on God more and more.  That is, after all, the Christian walk (Luke 9:23.)  The more we depend on God, the more we let go of our own life and plans.  This is part of the life-long sanctification process we begin in Christ.  

Our earthly relationship with our husband is a reflection of our heavenly relationship with God, both directly influence each other.  Do you remember when you first fell in love with God?  Perhaps you are still there.  Everything is fresh and new in the morning.  You can't get enough of this wonderfully rich Bible!  Hours upon hours you spend praying and weeping, asking God to take more of your life to glorify himself.  Your every word hangs on him, and every conversation somehow turns to Him.  Your heart feels like it just might explode if you don't tell everyone about this wonderful new-found joy you are experiencing!  

God remembers your first love too...

"I remember the devotion of your youth,

how as a young bride you loved me and followed me

through the desert,

through a land not sown."

Jeremiah 2:2

See, not only do you need God, but he needs you.  His heart aches for that special place only you can fill.  He longs to be your sole provider and protector--forever!  He makes promise after promise to you, in hopes of capturing your heart, only to be pushed and kicked away by each selfish plan and claim you make.

"Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you..." Hebrews 13:5

"I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness..."  Jeremiah 31:3

"...Call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."  Jeremiah 29:12

"Trust in [me] with all your heart, and [I] will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 3:5-6 (paraphrase)

In chapter two of his book, God tells Jeremiah the two things his people have done that he considers sin.  First, they turned their backs on God, then they "dug their own cisterns that cannot hold water."  This means they took matters into their own hands by trying to control their own lives--obviously this didn't work because their cisterns didn't hold water.  (Jeremiah 2:13)

God wants to provide for you.  He wants to lead you and protect you, just like your earthly husband will.  Practice falling into God's arms now, so submitting and trusting becomes a natural habit that brings you peace and contentment.

Things a Single Girl Has Time For..Part 1

Lucky for me, Fridays are my slower days.  Last Friday I spent 2 hours on campus sitting through meetings, and the rest of the afternoon I have enjoyed with myself.  First, I spent an hour and a half talking to one of my closest sisters in Christ.  We talked about how stressful our week started out, but how glorious God made himself as the week went on.  Almost 2 hours--JUST GLORIFYING GOD!  How awesome!

After that I spent another hour on the phone with a dear sweet girl that I disciple.  She told me of all the things God had been teaching her, and how she is recognizing Satan's attacks against these things.  Another hour spent in worship! :)  How wonderful!

I then worked on some homework for an hour or so, which was really nice to get out of the way for the weekend.  But here comes the best part, after that I spent an hour de-salting a can of Planter's Cashews!  Yes, I sound crazy and pathetic, but oddly enough, no grocery store in my area sells unsalted Cashews, and I like to make my own unsalted mixed nut assortment.  Therefore, I unsalt all my Cashews before mixing them with my other nuts.  Moving on now...

 As I stood silently in my kitchen, carefully wiping the salt off of each individual Cashew, God began to whisper sweet blessings into my ear.  You know, this may sound silly, but one day you are going to wish you had time to sit around and unsalt Cashews.  This is one of the many blessings I have given to you to enjoy during this season of your life.


How true!  Satan attacks single people all the time, but when we really stop and think about what we have, it's actually quite wonderful!  All week God has been refilling my contentment jar with gracious thoughts and a thankful heart.  Why in the world do we complain about not having enough to do, enough people to talk to, or enough money in our wallet?  God is the ultimate provider.  He gives us everything we could ever need--and more!  

This season in your life may be throwing struggles at you left and right, but stop and make a list of what all you have to be grateful for!  Make a list of all the random-awesome things you can do now, that you may not be able to do later on.  You might even come across a can of nuts! 


Here is a list of some ideas to get you started:

• Movie Nights!  I have a close friend who absolutely LOVES movie nights/days.  When given the chance, she curls up in a huge blanket and spends hours watching all sorts of movies that she alone enjoys.  She often talks of the relaxation and refreshment she gets from this activity.  This may not be rocket science, but when you graduate and get married, these opportunities will become less and less.
• Long Walks with God- Another girl friend of mine spends hours in fellowship with God.  She often walks down to a lovely pond with her Bible and a journal, and just talks to him.  Enjoy the sunset, pray for your neighborhood, or get to know the heart of God, all of these things are precious moments that single people have extra time for.
• Learn to cook and clean!  It's biblical, I promise!
• Find awesome new hairstyles on Pinterest- This will definitely come in handy when God's perfect timing is revealed.
• Hang out with people who aren't your age! Look around your church and see who needs a baby sitter, or some extra company.  Both little kids and older people have TONS of wisdom that you can pick up on.  I always have a blast doing this!

Whatever you decide to do, do it with all your heart (Coll 3:23) and do it to the glory of God.  Ephesians 5 tells us to live wisely because the days slip away faster than monkey on  a banana peel (my paraphrase,) so make the most of every season!  God has a purpose in each circumstance (Ecclesiastes.)

New Marriage, Same Spouse: Mark Driscoll

Wonderful message about God, marriage, and forgiveness by Mark Driscoll.  

Check it out: http://marshill.com/media/real-marriage/new-marriage-same-spouse

The Guide of Your Youth

Proverbs 2:16-17

"[Wisdom] will save you also from the adulteress,

from the wayward wife with her seductive words,

who has left the partner of her youth

and ignored the covenant she made before God."

Malachi 2:15 and Proverbs 5:18 give men careful instruction not to leave the "wife of their youth."  I was studying these passages one day when I found this verse in proverbs.  I noticed that it was different because it was coming from a female's standpoint and said she had left the "partner of her youth."

Curious as I was, I decided to look into the original meaning of the phrase "partner of her youth" and see what exactly the writer meant.  We know that the adulteress left this partner, and that was bad, therefore it is good to stay with this partner.  So who are we staying with?  Here is the Hebrew definition:

Al-loof:

           (Guide or partner)  Chief-leader, familiar, friend, gentle, captain, duke, chief friend (or best friend,) governor, guide, ox.

Interesting huh?  Let's look at the breakdown of each word!  It gets even better...

Chief-Leader as used in Exodus 15:15; a military leader, head person

Friend John 15:15, Jesus says I now call you my friends

Familiar friend-this phrase points to Proverbs 16:28 and Proverbs 17:9, both speak of close friends or "very friends"

Gentle. Read the instructions to husbands found near the end of Ephesians chapter 5.  I'd say gentle is a good way to describe them.

Duke-Straight out of Genesis 36; referring to all of the leaders

Chief Friend-best friend, a cord of 3 strands is not easily broken; Jeremiah 3:4 says God is our close friend from our youth!

Guide-Ephesians 5:24 says husbands lead their wives and the wife is to submit to her husband 

Ox-2 Corinthians 6:14 explains Christians to be "yoked together" with other believers.  This phrase also appears as "joined together" in Matthew 19:6

Barnes commentary explains even further:

"Better, the familiar friend.  The friend of course, is the husband,

or the man to whom the strange woman first belonged

as a recognized concubine."

The "guide of her youth" was the husband God picked out for her. The one we wait for.  The one we pray for.  The one he has promised us.  Think about all the qualities mentioned here for a biblical husband: best friend, guide, gentle, ox that is joined together, duke, leader.  Are you praying for these qualities if you are a lady in waiting?  If you are a man preparing for marriage, do you work towards these characteristics daily?

How beautiful a picture this word Al-loof portrays.  Partner of your youth.  Not only is this a wonderful description of the earthly marriage God has ordained, but the heavenly marriage that is to come.  God wants to be all these things and more for us.  He wants to be our best friend.  If God is your #1, everything else will fall completely into place...even your marriage (Matthew 6:33, 22:37-40.)  

Jeremiah 3:4

"Have you not just called to me:

'My father, my friend from my youth,"

3 Lessons from Ruth

We all know her and love her.  She created the definition of "faithful."  She laid down her life for her mother-in-law, and she showed us contentment, obedience, and persistence as she went from married, to single, to remarried.

The book of Ruth has a lot of wisdom packed into just 4 short chapters.  Some of the major themes include faithfulness, kindness, and integrity.  These are all amazing themes, and could be rich studies, but today's post is going to focus on 3 characteristics Ruth showed during her single years.  Since most of my readers are single, I feel like this is an appropriate post.

1. She practiced the definition of "faithful."  When Ruth's first husband died, she had the opportunity to do whatever she wanted.  She was a free woman again!  She could travel all around the world, seeing all the beautiful places, she could buy her own house and decorate it however she wanted, with no one telling her what to do, or she could even become a regular at the local pub--staying out till all hours of the nights without a care in the world.
   
   Ruth had the world at her feet.  She could finally live a life fully focused on her.  But, as fancy as that sounds, she knew that a lifestyle like that would not lead to her ultimate happiness.  Instead, she did the last thing a newly widowed woman would choose to do.  She chose to stick by her mother-in-law and faithfully love and serve her during this time.
   
   Yes, technically Ruth had no responsibility of Naomi anymore, but because Ruth first chose to marry Naomi's son, she had the moral responsibility of choosing Naomi, again.  From this choice we get one of the most used verses in the bible:
   
   
   Ruth 1:16"...Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.  Your people will be my people and your God will be my God."
   If you are currently single, have you been faithful to the things God has presently placed before you?  Perhaps it is helping your parents, discipling a younger girl, or reaching out to a friend.  Luke 16:10 says he who is faithful with little will be faithful with much.  God never gives you more than you can handle.
   
   
2. She didn't dwell in her misery while she waited for Mr. Right to come along.  As single women, we often times use loneliness as a reason to complain, cry, and feel sorry for ourselves.  This is a slap in the face to the God who created us.  As the writer of Ecclesiastes teaches us, God has a plan and purpose for every season of our life.  If has called you to be single for a season, we are to live, laugh, and love in this season of our life.  He's not going to let us move on until we have understood the purpose of the present season.  He is always teaching us something.
   
   Ruth fully understood this.  While she could have just walked up to some of the young farmers, flirting and seducing them till one of them decided to take care of her, Ruth put her faith elsewhere.  She took care of herself and Naomi with what she knew, and let God take care of the rest.
   
   Ruth worked hard and persistently in the fields, picking up leftover grain for her and her mother-in-law to get by on.  She did not call special attention to herself, she did not curse God and turn from him, she took charge and did what she could without disobeying or disrespecting her heavenly father.
   
   
   
   Ruth 2:2
   "And Ruth the Moabitess said to Naomi, 
   'Let me go to the fields and pick up the leftover grain
   behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor."
   
   What can you be doing instead of just waiting?  Oswald Chambers says work, worship, and waiting are meant to be done all at the same time.  HowF can you accomplish this?  Glorify God with this wonderful season of your life!

She did not chase after other men.  Believe me, Ruth was a beautiful woman who knew how to respect a man.  I am sure she could have batted an eyelash in the right direction and easily hooked a man who would provide for her.  But Ruth wasn't that type of gal.  She knew that taking life into her own hands would resort in pain, chaos, and strife.  God had Ruth's best interest in mind, and he promised to give it to her in his own perfect timing.  Rather than fighting God and impatiently chasing what was in front of her, she waited faithfully for what she couldn't yet see because she knew God had a better way.  It was this choice that left her husband grateful and overwhelmed.  For this he and God blessed her.

Ruth 3:10
"The Lord bless you, my daughter," he replied.
'This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier:

You have not run after younger men, whether rich or poor.'"

Are you running after the young men in your life, or are you waiting patiently for the wonderful man God is preparing for you?  Is there a relationship or chase that you need to lay down before God?  Perhaps this is a warning to refocus...

For a more in-depth bible study on Ruth: Check out Lady In Waiting

A Video for the Men

Ezra 10:4

"Rise up; this matter is in your hands.  We will support you, so take courage and do it."

Men: Are you fighting for your wife?  Are you preparing to be the man your future wife needs you to be?  How can you practice standing up now?

Women: Are you letting your husband stand up for you?  Are you praying for the strength of your future husband?  How can you practice encouraging now?

Also check out: My Plea to the Guys

Healing is a Choice: Book Review

When I look around, I always see sick, hurting people who crave love and attention.  That's why we share our deepest thoughts on Facebook for the whole world.  That's why we talk to our friends for hours on end, and that's why our culture is obsessed with dating and connection, yet we are the loneliest generation that's ever hit the planet.

Stephen Arterburn has it right when he explains that these deep hurts and unfulfilled desires within us are placed there for a reason.  This suffering and pain shows us that we need something higher than ourselves or our neighbors.  We need a God that knows every part of us, every painful situation we've been through, and every wound we possess.  When we submit our needs to this great God, he will in fact heal us and make us life-riskers and adventure-seekers once again.

In Arterburn's book, Healing is a Choice, he lays out 10 simple decisions that will help heal and transform your broken life.  Along with every decision, is a big lie that Satan tries to throw at us and stop the healing process.  Arterburn combats each lie with the truth of scripture and God's love.  These choices and applications are what lead individuals to deep healing through God's grace.

Stephen Arterburn is the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries.  He also leads an XM radio show, New Life Live.  Some of his closest friends and colleagues are Dr. Henry Cloud, and Dr. John Townsend, authors of a book I recently reviewed, Boundaries.  Arterburn is also the founder of Women of Faith conferences and has written over 60 books.

What sets Arterburn apart from other Christian authors, is his extreme transparency.  Throughout the book he strongly relates to healing and suffering by speaking out about his painful but biblical divorce with his first wife.  This is why I would highly recommend this book for someone who has been divorced.  I would also recommend this book for anyone who has been sexually or physically abused, or who has experienced deep rejection from a parent or family member.

While the book contains all of the answers to hope and future, the real-life results vary depending on the reader.  As the title suggests, healing does not come instantly or because we want it to.  It is a choice we must chose to take on our own.  It's a journey we must venture into on our own will.

I'm not sure if all versions of the book include the workbook too, but my revised and updated edition did.  I really enjoyed having both books in one place, and highly encourage readers to take advantage of both.  This book can be useful for a wide audience.  I would say the age level is more appropriate for late teens and up however.  Check out Newlife.com for more information on Stephen Arterburn and Healing is a Choice.  

Thomas Nelson has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book in order to review it.  I am not required to give a positive review.  All my opinions are my own.


(This review first published on BlogCritics.com)

Can Men and Women be JUST friends?

I am often asked why I have not posted about male-female friendships and the boundaries within them.  The honest answer is that I do not know.  I have never read a book, found scripture, or been convicted or drawn to this subject.  It does interest me, and I am slowly figuring out what is truth and what is not as I grow older, but I am no expert on the subject.  I do plan on sharing my thoughts with you as soon as I am ready, however.

Interestingly enough, one of my friends sent me this video the other day.  Although it is a secular video, it exposes some deep, yet comical truths between the two genders and their thinking patterns.  I thought I would share it with you all as a means of helping you form your own opinion.  Let me know what you think!

Wasted

I sleep on an awesome mattress.  I open my big, full-text, study Bible.  I send text messages on my new iphone.  I plug my new headphones into my imac.  I scroll through my Facebook newsfeed.  I drink sweet tea, as much as I want.  I go to McAlister's. 


 I buy books at Mardel.  I wear my Nike Pro Combat clothes and my NIKEiD tennis shoes to run around my fancy university.  I wear my fuzzy NorthFace jackets, and whichever pair of Ugg boots I choose to put on my feet, to go to Starbucks and buy a $5 cup of coffee. 


 Entire families live on less than $2 a week.  I spend $20+ a day on snacks.  I take a group of girls to Passion Berry for $6 icecreams, before we are satisfied enough to sit in the warmth and security of the Schooner Room to open God's word.

We get to have Bible study in public, under light bulbs, in nice, big buildings, with a full copy of God's precious word.  Others save a year's salary to purchase one page, before they risk their lives to share it with other Christians, to simply hold it as a possession.  


I live in a community where we idolize, IDOLIZE simple, sinful men, because they play a certain game.  You get quiet; you stare at them; you act weird.  Why?  You ask them to write their name on a piece of paper, which you appear to treasure more than every word of God's heart.  


We decline committing scripture to memory, but we remember the score to a football game from years ago.  Our walls should be plastered in God's word, yet I remember speechlessly walking into a room of one titled 'Minister' and seeing thousands of dollars spent on framed jerseys that twenty-something-year-old college kids wrote on with marker.

People are starving to death.  Natural disasters are killing nations.  Diseases leave babies without mommas and daddies every day.  Women are enslaved, beaten, left, because men pursue lust.  Families are destroyed daily, because we refuse to seek the heart of Jesus.  Boys are angry.  Girls feel worthless.

I do nothing for Jesus.  Yet, while I was still a sinner, He did EVERYTHING for me.  I don't understand.  If I were truly in love with the Prince of my eternity, I would be seeing Him add to our number daily.  My life would be scary.  I would face persecution.  Americans, still in the nurseries of our churches drinking spiritual milk, would kick me out of their smooth, pretty ministry routines.  I would lose everything, yet I would gain more than I have ever imagined. 

 Seemingly, I would have nothing to please me, yet I would rest in more satisfaction than I've ever known.  I should be on the firing lines.  I should risk it all.  I should do it now.

I want to die to Kaity.  I want to die to my needs.  I want to die to my desires.  What am I doing?  Billions of people are entering a Christ-less eternity, and I'm listening to David Platt and drinking hot chocolate.  I'm wasting time.  I've wasted a lot of time.

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."  2 Corinthians 4:18

--Kaity 

Dating vs. Courtship Video

For those of you still sorting out the difference between dating and courtship, this video puts everything in very simple and easy to understand points.  I love how directly it explains the courting process.  Feel free to post questions or comments below!

Happy Friday!

What Are You Waiting For? (Book Review)

Sexting, pornography, and purity rings; do you ever feel overwhelmed by our overly-sexual culture?  Many teen girls are asking questions about sex, and Dannah Gresh has done the homework and recorded the answers in her latest book, What are you waiting for?

Written in 2011, this book is very modern and up to date on the latest sexual trends, misconceptions, and ideologies.  Gresh combats these ideas against the word of God for a truly refreshing and biblical view on sex.  Also the author of best-selling book, Lies Young Women Believe, and The Bride Wore White, Gresh has scrutinized the topic of sex and relationships relating to young women in the Christian community.  She is also the co-founder of Pure Freedom, a non-profit organization that helps equip men and women to live in purity.

A distinctive quality of What are you waiting for, is the strikingly transparent and straightforward attitude Gresh uses.  This type of approach is extremely appreciated in a religious community that never tends to hit the nail on the head when it comes to sex.  Gresh has accurately backed up all of her claims with both scripture reference and scientific research, something that is required for Christian authors to succeed in today’s world.

Although my personality clashes with the personality speaking in the book, I still found the book quite enjoyable and easy to read.  Some of the sentences could have used a few more edits, which led to awkwardly worded phrases, but considering the books message and reading level, I will discount these imperfections.

I would highly recommend this book for any young woman between the ages of 12 and 23.  New believers with relationship questions might find this helpful as well.  The book covers all of the basics, as well as presents new and thought provoking truths to stand upon.  Though it might be a lower-budget book, the message is definitely worth the time of the reader.  

(Disclaimer: “I received this book for free from 

WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review”.)