Bud & Me: Book Review

Why hello there!  It has been a while since I've sat down at the old typewriter.  It's actually a tad rusty.
Though I will have more intriguing content soon, today I am going to be filling you in on a fabulous book I've just finished.

"Bud & Me", by Alta Abernathy is not a New York Time's Best Seller.  It's not a widely-known book, but perhaps it should be--especially in Southwest Oklahoma.  Bud & Me is the fascinating story of two boys from Frederick, Oklahoma.  Bud and Temple are 9 and 5 when they go on their first of six adventures.  Their first adventure leads them from rural southwest Oklahoma to Santa Fe, New Mexico on horseback in the year 1909.

Their are several crazy things about this story.  First, these little boys were barely old enough to multiply numbers, much less take care of each other in the desserts of New Mexico alone.  Also, much of the U.S. was unsettled in the year 1909.  This was the times of cowboys and indians and outlaws--not the safest terrain for young boys.

Despite the odds these young men went on journey after journey all across the United States in all different forms of transportation--all in the name of adventure!

Though I am definitely not a history buff, I found this book fascinating.  The whole time I was reading it I was giggling, gasping and jumping out of my chair.  The book really captures the heart of adventure in an interesting, funny and historically accurate way.  By the time I finished the book I was ready to plan a road trip across the country with whoever was willing.

I think the theme of the book is to forget fear and go after the journey for the fun of it.

The book is a very quick read; only containing 7 chapters.  Temple tells the stories from his 5-9 year-old point of view, yet he is around 80 when he is recalling these memories.

In Frederick we have an Abernathy Boys celebration in June, and a museum exhibit in honor of these boys.  We also have a nice bronze (?) statue of the boys on our courthouse lawn.  I grew up hearing about the boys, but it was the book that really made it real to me.  These youngsters were legitimate celebrities from the 1900's--and they were more courageous than any young boys I have ever known.

Although the Abernathy Boys are a huge stake for Frederick, Oklahoma--I still feel this is a great book for anyone to read, more specifically 20-somethings.  We read BuzzFeed and EliteDaily all the time.  Articles tell us to fulfill our bucketlist and make memories while we are young and wild and free.  I thought I was doing a pretty good job of this, but Bud & Me puts the word "adventure" in a whole new category for me.  They face their fears and tough the roughest before they are old enough to obtain a driver's license.  Bud and Temple make me feel like I have a whole lot of catching up to do if I want to live the adventurous life in similar fashion.

Amazon sells the book for $20 new and the Frederick Chamber office sells it for $22.  That's not a bad price for the story you are getting out of this deal.  Take a chance on Bud & Me, you won't be disappointed!

Breaking the Cycle: Who will you choose?

In my last two posts I have talked about breaking the cycle.  As I said, I am surrounded by cycle-breakers and I love it.  God blesses those who earnestly seek him (Hebrews 11:6, Proverbs 8:17.)

One particular young man has been steadily breaking chains throughout his entire adult life, but recently, I've watched him come to a decision he hasn't made as easily as the others.

This man was born into a world without a father who cared for him.  His mother had eight kids with a few different men, and so he was raised by his mother and step-father with two other step-siblings and a mixture of family members moving in and out of the house.

As a young boy this man had a dream to grow up and be a preacher some day, but as the emptiness of a broken home set in, he soon lost this vision to drugs, alcohol, and women.  Throughout high school he was rarely out of the principals office.  He dabbled in gangs, skipped most classes, and even became a rapper of terribly degrading music.  Anyone who knew him then said he would be in jail before graduation.

Fortunately for him the grace of God stepped in, as it does for all of us at some point or another.  It was the fall he turned seventeen that this young man made his first big choice towards breaking the sinful cycles in his family and in his own life.  At a student-lead bible study, he gave his life to Christ on his knees in prayer with a fellow Christian male.

For the next two years he made choice after choice--all reflecting the grace of God he had washed his life with.  Nothing was slowing him down.  Each day he woke up in an atmosphere of smoke, profanity, and hatred, and yet he prayed his way through the attacks of Satan.  I even watched him conquer loosing special people in his life, some of which went to be eternally with Christ, others who are now spending eternity in hell.  Throughout these times, he grew closer to God, grieving with a counselor and studying the Word for guidance.

So for the past five years this man has chosen God over and over again, but this time I wonder what he will choose.  We've all prayed, poured into, and helped out as much as God's spirit will allow us too.  We all hope and want the best for him.  We want him to choose God one more time, once and for all, to give this heavy burden over to him.

You see, there was one area of his life, he hasn't let go of yet.  One area he refuses to lay at Christ's feet.  This is often the hardest area for all of us to lay down, probably because of its high level of importance. This area that I am referring to is dating.  Relationships.

Over six months now, I have watched him fight with God, telling him that he will get married to who he wants when he wants, no matter what.  I've watched him do this a million times, and every time God wins.

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting to get different results.  Well, that's what he's doing.  He has controlled relationship after relationship, rebelling against God's model to trust and obey the timing and placing of all he has planned.  And this time seems to be his last choice.

In Romans, the bible talks about Gods amazing grace, how he gives and he gives and he gives, but ultimately there comes a choice where we choose infinitely who we will serve, and when we choose ourselves for the last time, God gives us over to our flesh.  That's the point where this man is at.  Years of cycle-breaking potentially washed down the drain.  What will he do?  What will I do, besides watch and pray?

Rise up cycle breakers.
How will you choose?

Joshua 24:15

"Choose you this day whom ye will serve;
whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood,
or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell:
but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."

Are you a cycle-breaker?  Send your story to divinedating.org@gmail.com for a chance to be featured on a post.

Breaking the Cycle of a Broken Mother

As mentioned in my last post, "Born to Break the Chains," God has opened my eyes to the world of cycle-breaking in our spiritual lives.  I'm still wrapping my mind around the idea, so explaining this to others might be a challenge--but here we go.

All around me I see men and women rising up.  They are standing out from a family of secrecy, lies, and bitterness.  I have no idea how or why, but these beings were the chosen few (Ephesians 1:11-12.)  They were hand-picked by God to break the sinful patterns Satan placed in their families.

Of these friends, (like I said, there are many,)  there is one special woman of God who has seen the pain and unrest that feeds from her mother's prideful spirit.  Her mother is undoubtedly a product of the fall, just like the rest of us, she, however, has chosen to stay that way--despite the Lord's numerous attempts to redeem her.  You may not think growing up in a house with a self-centered mother is no big deal, but look at the deeper level here.

Proverbs 11:22
"Like a gold ring in a pig's snout 
is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion."

Proverbs 12:4

"A wife of noble character is her husbands crown,

but a disgraceful wife is decay in his bones."

Proverbs 12:25

"An anxious heart weighs a man down,

but a kind word cheers him up."

Proverbs 18:8

"The words of a gossip are like choice morsels;

they go down to a man's inmost parts."

Proverbs 18:12

"Before his downfall a man's heart is proud,

but humility comes before honor."

Proverbs 19:13

"...a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping."

Now, I am certainly not saying that I have these proverbs mastered in my own life.  Nor am I saying that I know any women who do, I am however saying that I know women who strive to be life and love to their husbands and families, and I know women who strive to be life and love to themselves.  There is a big difference.

When you look at the facts it should be rather obvious.  I mean, do you really want to come across as a "constant dripping?"  How about a "gold ring in a pig's snout?"  Didn't think so.  

No one grows up saying, "I can't wait to be married so I can walk all over my husband with my anxious heart and disrespectful attitude!  That will be the day I achieve true happiness."  Therefore, we don't purposely choose this kind of fragrance for our own lives.  It is simply the result of Adam and Eve's fall, our sinful nature.

Women are naturally anxious, controlling, over-talkative about their neighbor, and proud.  We naturally want to "encourage" the men in our life by telling them what they should do.  The problem is, this doesn't come across the way we think it does.  To them we are cutting them down, telling them they aren't good enough, and trampling on anything in the way of our personal satisfaction.  Yeah, this is natural.

But here's where we get a say-so.  We have the opportunity to choose what type of woman we want to be.  

Most of us float through life mimicking the habits, actions, and behaviors of our mothers.  It's called imprinting.  Ducks do it too.  Fortunately, the difference between us and ducks is that we are intelligent, free-will creatures who can change this pattern at any given time through a series of choices.

The young woman I told you about has stopped imprinting her mothers sinful nature.  When she was sixteen she made the first choice to step out of her family norm.  She became a believer of Jesus Christ.  Shortly after she gave him control of her entire life, and she has been sprinting  through the race of life ever since.  

I have joyfully watched her go through bible study after bible study, learning the ways of the Lord and what he expects of young women.  She has recently learned the secret to financial freedom apart from her family's debt, and she puts her whole heart into giving God the "first fruits" of her paycheck (Proverbs 3:9.)  Every area of her life has been washed of sinful nature and consumed with the love and grace of God.  She will always be walking in this process of giving him more control, but she chooses daily to take the road less traveled by in her family (Luke 9:23, Philippians 3:8,12.)

Matthew 10:37

"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me;

anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."

Rise up Cycle Breakers.

How will you choose?








Are you a cycle-breaker?  Send your story to divinedating.org@gmail.com for a chance to be featured on a post.

Song of Solomon #2-Listen Now!

Okay, so there is not a great way to send you this link without sending you a whole slew of sermons.  However, I feel like it is very beneficial for everyone to listen to the sermon titled "Song of Solomon #2" by Smokey Hurst.

This message contains a wealth of knowledge about love, sex, marriage, and passion.  Smokey speaks directly to both men and women--separately and then collectively.  I found this very encouraging to my love story.

Here's the link: Sermon Player

(Note: As this post gets older, the sermon will move further on down the track list.)

A Father Who Protects

As I stated in my last post, I recently watched the movie Courageous and absolutely loved it.  While the entire film was heart-wrenching and edifying, my favorite scene by far includes one of the fathers giving his daughter a promise ring, and a promise to go with it.

His short speech paints the perfect picture of what fathers are supposed to be from the time their daughter is born, to the day they walk her down the aisle.  God  gives us fathers to protect and guide us while we wait for our husband.  This is a channel God uses to speak, protect, love, and guide us with.  This is why the Bible makes so many references to obeying your parents.

So what if you don't have a father?  What if you have a Dad who's not a Christian?  Maybe you have a Christian Dad, but he hasn't stepped up to the plate in guarding your heart.  If you do have a Dad, regardless of his walk with the Lord--you can pray for him, encourage him, and show him respect through small acts of kindness.

No matter what your Dad situation, you do have a heavenly Father who is perfect and holy.  His grace covers any fault your earthly Dad has or had.  If you are willing to follow, submit, and listen to him, he will guide you through the courting process and lead you to the man he has picked out for you.

So many people go wrong when they say they are following God with their love life, yet they are searching, striving, and stressing about who and when they will get married.  The truth is that freedom comes from letting go.  God knows the timing, the prince, and the story, so why not let him write it the way he designed it?

In the book "When God Writes Your Love Story," Leslie Ludy writes a whole chapter on how beneficial her parents were to her courtship story with her husband Eric.

"When I first began to truly learn how to give God the pen to write my love story, one of the first things I felt Him lead me to do was to invite my parents to be on my team through prayer and accountability.  

It was as if he softly reminded me, 'Leslie, I have placed your parents in your life for a reason.  They have a special wisdom and anointing that I have given them, especially for your life.  Don't ignore the built-in teammates I've provided for you.'"

Respect your father this week.  He wants to be a part of your love story as much as God does.

Courageous: How Women Can Do Their Part

Thanks to The House FM, my friends and I watched a free showing of Courageous last night.  Everyone loved it.  What a touching film it was.  Although the message of the movie is directed at fathers, there are important lessons all of us can benefit from.

As a student of relationships, marriage, and broken people, the message to fathers and men definitely came close to my heart.  I have written several posts dealing with the same message:

My Plea to the Guys
A One Woman Man
Making the Stand
"Can this man pastor me?"
Rise up Warrior!

Although I highly recommend men watch the film and read these previous posts, I will not be speaking to the men in this post.  I am keeping the same topic, yet speaking to the young ladies, single or not.  While it is true that following and submitting come easiest when your husband or father is stepping up, we have no excuse to control when they are passive.  In fact, our role requires just the opposite.

First, we need to examine our hearts, for from them everything else flows (Proverbs 4:23.)  As I said in my post Trust, Follow, Submit, our relationship with God directly affects our heart attitude toward the male leader in our life, (whether it is a father for a single woman, or a husband for those who are married.)  Do you trust God even when you don't agree with what he is doing?  Do you blindly follow him every day of your life, trusting that he will guide you with his right hand?  Do you love him whole heartedly without a second thought regarding your circumstances?

When we can answer yes to all these questions, a gentle and submissive spirit (1 Peter 3) will follow quickly after.  God is the ultimate source of our love (1 John 4,) and without him, it is impossible for us to look past our pride and fully love and respect the men in our life--regardless of how they may or may not step up.

Ephesians 5:21 says, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."  How in the world do we expect to see this happen when we haven't even submitted to Christ?  How can you obey your father with respect when you don't see Christ as the leader of your own life.  When you put your whole faith in God, you are agreeing to follow his protection, guidelines, and gifts.  God puts parents in the lives of single girls to protect, pray, and guide them during this journey.  Respect the man God has provided for you.

After we get our hearts right, it will be easier to control our tongues.  Matthew 12:34 says "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks."  This is why we must do things in the order in which God designed them.

Our speech is important because from one tongue, we have both the power to lift up and destroy (James 3:9-10.)  So if you want your husband or father to step up and lead you according to God's design, which do you think will be more helpful in accomplishing that goal?

            A) "Ugghh, Dad, why can't you just be more like Jamie's Dad?!  He always takes her on father-daughter dates, and buys her new clothes.  All you want to do is sit around and watch football!  What a pathetic excuse I have for a father!"

            B) "Dad, thank you so much for providing me with food in my belly and a roof over my head.  I am grateful to have a father in my life.  You have so much power that naturally lies within you.  It is a joy when release such leadership skills around Mom and I.  It's almost like watching Clark Kent turn into Superman!  I love you and am praying for more opportunities to see Superman."

If you guessed "B" you are correct.  Men have a deep need to feel respected, and yelling in their face that they are worthless only tears at their pride and makes them feel just that...worthless.  Ephesians 4:29 says we are to only speak words that lift others up according to their needs, words that will benefit those who listen.  I don't think arguing and complaining benefits anyone.  In fact, Philippians 2:14 says we are to do everything without complaining.

When a complaint comes to your mind from now on, why don't you try to flip it and say what you are thankful for instead.  For instance, say the microwave at home keeps messing up and this time you've really had it.  One more spark and your fuse is lit!  Instead of reacting angrily and complaining/screaming at your husband, how bout this:  "I am so grateful for all the cooking appliances you've provided me with dear.  I could stop and complain about this half-broken microwave, or I could turn around and take full advantage of an oven that works beautifully.  In fact, I think I'll show my appreciation for this oven by baking you a cake!"

A little over the top maybe, but you get the picture.  How can you lift up the man in your life this week?  What are some ways you can show him respect?  Do you pray for him regularly?  Are you submitting to him out of reverence for Christ?

Rise Up Warrior!

A wonderful new movie called Courageous is coming out tomorrow in theatres.  This is another movie done by the church in Georgia that produced Facing the Giants, Fireproof, and Flywheel--ALL of which are highly recommended by me (See movies page!)

I don't know much about this new movie, but I do know that it has something to do with men stepping up to the plate.  This is such a big concern for me.

Women, children, and even other men of our society need men to step up.  There is a desperate longing inside children that cause them to want their Daddy's approval.  They want him to be proud of them and spend time with them and pat them on the back.  Women crave the attention of males, whether it be their Dad's, their husbands, or just male figures in their life.

The Bible says over and over that men are the head of the household and the church--they were born to be leaders.  We need them to lead us.  Women will stop controlling when men start leading, and men will start leading when women step back and stop controlling.  It's a crazy cycle, but who's gonna take the first step?
As I read in Ezra yesterday I stumbled upon this verse:

"Rise up; this matter is in your hands.  

We will support you, so take courage and do it."

Ezra 10:4

In this passage Ezra has just found out the people he has been leading back to God's temple have been disobeying God greatly.  Ezra mourns and confesses their sins to God, he is utterly heartbroken.  Then Shecaniah gives Ezra advice on what needs to be done, and tells him to rise up.


This is such a strong calling for a man.  Rising up means taking courage, preparing for battle, and sacrificing self.  No such call should be taken lightly, but it shouldn't be ignored either.

Here's the kicker, Ezra had a choice.  It was up to him weather he would actually stand up on and fight or continue to mourn in self pity.  It is always a choice with God.  He may ask you to save the nations by sharing the gospel to the highest suicidal rated city on the globe, a task that would bring God so much glory it would be mind blowing, a task that would humbly honor anyone even considered by the great God Almighty, but nevertheless, a task that is still left as a choice to be done or not.

Thankfully, the very next verse assures us that Ezra took that bold step of faith without a second thought.  He immediately put the plan into action and became a huge part of helping the Israelites get reconciled to God.  And God got more glory because of it!

So this is to the young man out there who has been called by God to lead his wife, his family, his church, or his friends.  You have a decision to make, are you going to stay seated and mourning, or are you going to stand up and lead these special people closer to God and God's glory.  On behalf of the godly women I know, we beg you to lead us righteously.

And for the young woman reading this, my prayer is that you would encourage that man today, weather it be your father, your fiance, your husband, or your pastor.  Encourage the men in your life to make that bold step.  Let him know that you will support him 110%, and that you are honored to have a God-chosen warrior in your life.