sometimes as girls in the church we see a “gentlemen” by how cute he is, what sport he plays, how many other girls want him, etc. In my opinion a man of God is much deeper then how cute he is or even, dare I say, that he raises his hands during worship… It’s his heart. A man of God seeks the Lord SOLELY for the Lord’s glory not his own… not so that he can get a girls attention or look super spiritual… I guess what I am getting at isa man of God is humble about his pursuit of the Lord but bold in his beliefs! (Now this is my opinion and there is SO much more that goes into it then just what I have said.)
Now the second part is the tougher part… “…doesn’t mean he is YOUR man of God”. This part is SO much tougher! I know from experience that sometimes it is hard to accept that just because there is a guy who is a man of God and shows you attention does not mean that he is who the Lord intends you to be with. I feel like this is something you have to really think about… and by no means get angry with the Lord over!
I remember when I was in High School I liked this guy (he wasn’t a man of God) and I specifically remember the Lord telling me “NO!” when I asked him if I should date him… needless to say I dated him… I learned from my disobedience…which is why I think in a small way I am SO passionate about talking to girls about this. I know that even though I have been single my ENTIRE life except for a month, the Lord has an amazing guy for me!
I was talking to my sister today on the phone and she made a fantastic point that as girls we shouldn’t be searching for the man for us because the LORD ALREADY HAS HIM PICKED OUT! That blows my mind that the Lord has already picked out the man that I am supposed to be with! I know that the Lord is faithful and that though I might want an immediate fix to my relational desires does not mean that right now the Lord has someone for me… but he does have someone for me eventually! Until I feel peace in my heart and I feel like a guy and I could glorify the Lord more by being togetherthen apart I want to be faithful to my heart and to the Lord and wait patiently for the guy that HE has for me. Why should we be looking for one guy instead of waiting for “THE ONE” guy!
I think that it is very important to understand that you can have guy friends… actually I highly encourage it, if you approach it in the right way. Meaning that you go into it with the thought that this guy is my brother in Christ and that I want to get to know him and encourage him, as I would a brother. NOT “oh my goodness he is such a great guy, he is cute, smart, loves Jesus…. Maybe we will fall in love and have one of those fairytales like a walk to remember…” well you get the idea! Now you know that I am a real girl!!! that’s how I thought of guys in high school!!! Needless to say I think that guy friends provide great incites into life. They can give you a different look on many circumstances that you may not be able to get fromfellow girls! I think that like most things pertaining to guys we, as daughters of God, must be very careful about where we place our hearts! If we allow them to be drawn out too far then we are putting ourselves in potential danger of getting hurt or not allowing God to have all of our hearts! One of my favorite sayings pertaining to dating is…
I love this quote because I believe that if we indulge our hearts in the Lord and not in earthly things such as dating, boys, sex, etc. we are saying that a man must automatically be seeking the Lord in order to find our heart! Which really narrows down the pool of potential bachelors!!!!☺
I have found this to be SO true… even as I am writing this the Lord is revealing so much to me in the aspect of leaving my heart in the Lord’s hands and having faith that in his time he will provide the right guy for me! ☺ I know that if you girls seek the Lord and his heart I doubt you will leave his presence dry! I have found that the more I lay my heart before the Lord the more tangible his love is to me!
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11
Jamie ☺
Great post! I needed to hear this.
ReplyDeleteGreat post Jamie,
ReplyDeleteI am just a little concerned with this line though - "I know that even though I have been single my ENTIRE life except for a month, the Lord has an amazing guy for me!"
I don't doubt that God has your *best* in his plan for you (Rom 8:28), but that might not include a husband. Statistically, you will probably be married in your life but I think it's unhelpful and unbiblical to declare that you *will* be.
Keep up the good work - great stuff on this blog!
Excellent Article. However, you can ask many people who claims that God sent a particular person to them "How did they know" and they can't tell you.....why is that? One of the major, if not the only requirement is "not to be unequally yoked". Once it is confirmed that both parties are all out living a Godly life, the only thing after this is to decide and let God be the foundation to your relationship. Why Christians are the most lonely and single group of people? I've always stated that "if you want to see a good cat fight, put to Christians together in a relationship". They will find every reason not to be together. Two gay men and to gay women find more "God" in each other to date and marry than two opposite sex Christians....why? Just food for thought.
ReplyDeleteHmm very intersting thoughts! I love that you are challenging these things and looking into them for yourself! Some things are just above our understanding I feel like. Thanks for commenting!
ReplyDeleteAnd how do you know if the man is the one God chose. I am in my 60's...divorced many years and very particular about who I date. Had been content with my life alone, though knowing I did want a special man of God in my life, but was never lonely....many friends, and even enjoyed my time alone. Along came a man...had known him for a year and gradually became friends over 8 months. Started dating. Nearly every conversation was about our relationship with the Lord, watching Christian TV broadcasts about Christian relationships, singing together, praying together, talking for hours and on and on. Unfortunately he did lure me into bed and we both agreed that was wrong...after a month of that, he was the one who finally said "No more". And we prayed for forgiveness to the Lord and also asked each other for forgiveness. At the exact same time, he casually mentioned that he'd had coffee with a woman he'd met on a dating site (same one as I met him on) and I was blown away that he was still on the site and meeting other women. After that, I checked the website and found him to be on there at least once a day. We were seeing each other 2 to 4 times a week. (He lived 45 miles away). He became more distant but we were together to golf twice more in the following month...again talked about Christian relationships, but both times he approached me for sex, which I turned down. Now, other than informal e-mails, there has been no contact for over 2 weeks. He was the product of a 17 year marriage to a narcissistic woman who alienated his children from him and who had been in an incestuous relationship with her brother, so I understand the emotional damage he has suffered. I had been in a 2+ year relationship with a Narcissistic man about 8 years ago, so understand the emotional trauma. He was divorced over 7 years before we started dating and I question how much counseling he has had. I am heart-broken...have had no worse heart break than being hurt by a fellow Christian. I have dated a considerable amount in the years since my divorce, so I'm not new to this,and had told God to find a man for me and had left it up to Him (I thought).. Most difficult to be close to retirement and alone....I wish this man had never entered my life as I was content before he came along. Now, I'm very lonely.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous,
DeleteI'm praying very hard for your healing in this area of your life. I know a heartbreak like that can be very painful, especially coming from someone labeled "Christian", who is supposed to be love and light to the world.
I don't have an answer for how you KNOW when the right man is there. All I can say is pray and seek God's face. God designed one specific man for you, and if it is his will he will bring him too you. Also pray and ask God if you are supposed to be married at all. Some people believe in the call to singleness, this might be true for you. How is your ministry when you are single? When you are in a relationship?
The key is being open handed to whatever God has for you. It is always unexpected and hardly ever aligned with our plans. You seem to have a big heart for God and his will, so I am confident that you will find it. Just be still and the Lord will fight for you.
Exodus 14:14
Psalm 34:18
Psalm 62:5-6
Keep your eyes up as you walk and trust! Thanks for commenting.
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ReplyDeletegratitude.Christian tv