Wait...Wait...Wait

My hope is in You, Lord
All the day long

I won't be shaken by drought or storm

A peace that passes understanding is my song

and I sing

My hope is in You, Lord

I will wait on You

You are my refuge

I will wait on You

You are my refuge

--My Hope Is In You, Aaron Shust

Life is full of waiting isn't it?  I know the single section just shouted a chorus of "Amens."  But what about the rest of us?  What about life after marriage?  What about the life of a child?

I remember the first time the desire of a long-term wait really sunk in for me.  I was sitting in a small, wooden desk with a package of 64-count Crayola Crayons.  My best friend, Bernice, sat right in front of me, and one of our other friends joined us as we discussed the grown-up details of our 6 year-old lives.

"I can't wait to be sixteen," Bernice let out with a long, hopeless sigh.  

"Sixteen?  Why, what happens at sixteen?"  I asked with wide eyes and a curious mind.

"Duh, Haley.  Everyone knows that when you turn sixteen you get a car and  you get to drive wherever you want."  she replied.

After a few moments of careful thought and consideration, I then announced to the group that I would be getting a pink convertible to match Barbie's on the day of my sixteenth birthday.

We were six.  A good ten years of waiting sat before us, and yet we had already planned out the date, the details, and the price our parents would have to pay.  What a torturous way to spend ten years of a young life.  If only we had that license, THEN we would be complete.  We would be grown women.  Wise, mature, sexy, confident.  Everything hinged on the day we turned sixteen and received our licenses.

But of course...everyone knows what happens when you FINALLY turn sixteen...

You have to wait two more years to become eighteen.

And when you turn eighteen, it's three more years 'till twenty-one.  And so, at some point we begin to realize that satisfaction, contentment, joy, and love do not magically appear after a period of waiting.  In fact, we are often just pushed on to realize something else we desperately need to make us happy.

You want to know the real truth, the secret to the waiting game?  Here it is:  you'll always be waiting for something.

As a single woman, we often waste our single years wishing for Mr. Right to come save us and make us happy and complete.  But what happens after we receive that?  You guessed it, more waiting, wanting, and discontentment.

Paul clearly tells us the secret to this never ending wait in Philippians chapter 4.  First, look at verse six:

 "Do not be anxious about anything, 

but in everything, by prayer and petition,

with thanksgiving,

present your request to God."

Then jump down to verse twelve:

"I know what it is to be in need, 

and I know what it is to have plenty.

I have learned the secret of being content 

in any and every situation,

whether well fed or hungry,

whether living in plenty or in want."

As a Christian on earth, you will always be waiting and watching for something more, something better...something holy.   This is because our husband has not come for us.  He is sitting on the throne in heaven watching and praying for us, waiting for just the right time to rescue us from all things evil, thus redeeming us to the one our soul desperately longs for.  Yeah, now that's something worth waiting for.

So what do we do in the mean time?  Worship, work, and wait.  

Ecclesiastes 8:15-16 says:

"So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad.  Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun."

And 1 Corinthians 10:31

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

And also, John Waller says,

"I will serve you while I'm waiting, I will worship while I'm waiting."

Put your hope and trust, your pains and struggles, and your desires and longings in God's hands and he promises to never let you go.  

He will NOT leave you in despair, I promise you.

"God, the one and only--I'll wait as long as he says.

Everything I hope for comes from him, 

so why not?"

Pslam 62:5-6 (MSG)

Alisson's Story-2

(Continuing from Alisson's Story)

...The next morning I woke up in a major state of confusion. What was  God’s will? Tate wasn’t a bad guy and he had actually rededicated his life this past year. Why wasn’t he the one for me?  Can I still date him? How do you know what God’s will is??

I went to Julie and we discussed it some more and she suggested I talk to her discipler, Mandy. So Julie gave her my number and within a few hours I was talking to Mandy! We talked and I told her about Tate and I asked her what a spiritual leader looked like for a guy? She started thinking and came to the conclusion that there wasn’t a specific answer to this question, but she said, “First and foremost, you want a guy who loves God with all his heart.”  Then she gave me some great words of wisdom and told me to boldly pray to God, asking him to show me if Tate was the guy God picked out for me or not.  I prayed that if he was the right guy things would continue to be good between us, and if he wasn’t, I asked that the door would slam shut on our relationship!

                               (read more tomorrow!)

Maybe you have been unsure/uneasy about your own relationship lately.  Perhaps you should take that bold step by praying that God would slam the door shut if it is not his will.  After all, if God's not in it, it won't last anyways right?

Proverbs 16:9

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."

Proverbs 20:24

"A man's steps are directed by the Lord.  How then can anyone understand his own way?"

Guard it!

As girls living after Genesis 3:16, I think many times we look around and say, “Hey there’s a male, perhaps he could love me and care for me...I think I’ll go give him my attention!”

Obviously our thoughts aren’t that blunt, but our hearts sure are. The sad thing is we don’t even notice we’re doing it most the time…it’s just the curse of woman.

Satan has twisted our minds and desires so much that we think it’s normal, healthy, and natural for women to throw themselves at men—when the truth is, women were not made to be like that. There’s a reason we were created with the desire to be pursued—the desire to be the princess rescued by the prince.

When we women turn around and seek after the men that interest us, we often wind up hurt and confused, wondering if he really even loves us. Duh! That’s because your heart was made to be pursued. It wasn’t meant to be thrown around to whatever pig comes running up.

The other day I was praying and I God laid this on my heart:

Daughter of the King,

Princess,

Beautiful creation,

I have created every intimate detail about you. I know your thoughts, your heart, and your desires— all of which are wonderful and beautiful. I made you the way you are for a purpose and a reason. You may be missing the reason, but I still love you regardless.

Out of all the special things about you, the dearest to me is your heart. Here is where I have placed both your emotions and your desires, the two most powerful things within you. Here is where I give the choice to you—love me or reject me. Your heart is where people look to either see more of me, your creator—or more of your selfish ambitions that lead to destruction.

You see--your heart is something so wonderful, so sweet, and so precious, that it was made to be pursued. Your heart is worth being pursued. Don’t throw your treasures, gifts, and secrets at every male you meet. In fact, I want you to guard it above everything else. Keep it carefully locked safe and sound in my hands. Give it to me and at the perfect moment, I promise I will place it in the right hands.

Remember my promise to give you something so amazing that all of your temporary pain and waiting will seem silly. Hold tight to my hand, and I will lead you to my plans for you. Please, trust me and I will lead you there, into the Promised Land.

I love you and want to give you the best,

God your Father

Proverbs 4:23

“Above all else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

Distracted from Love

I wonder if I am the only one that this happens to...

Every time I get going good, really focusing on God, it seems as though 3 or 4 boys will pop up out of nowhere and begin to show interest in me. These aren’t usually guys I would consider dating, much less marrying—but nevertheless they pop up and become brief little distractions in my life.

I don’t think this is by coincidence at all. You see, Satan is smart; and he knows very well what woman was cursed with in the garden of Eden. Genesis 3:16 says, “And your desire will be for your husband…” If you have never studied the curse of woman after the fall, you really ought to look into it—it captures the struggle of our entire womanhood.

Women werecursed with a deep, longing desire for a husband; someone to love andpursue them, someone to tell them they’re beautiful and worth fighting for, someone to hold them tight and protect them when scary things happen—it’s the nature of a woman!

Because of that curse, from birth till death we see women constantly seeking the affection and attention of a man. For little girls, it’s daddy. For teenagers it’s any boy whom shows interest; twenty-somethings want someone to put a ring on it; and the married women always want more out of their husbands.

This curse is obviously warped by the devil and often used as a big distraction from God. Countless times I have seen awesome Christian girls who let this desire take over them…they settle to date these horrible men who not only aren’t leading, but they fall severely short of treating these women like the beautiful princesses in Christ that they are.

In a book by Paul David Tripp he says,

“It is not wrong to desire the tender attention of your husband. It is wrong to be so ruled by it that your days are filled with bitterness because of its absence and your nights are filled with manipulative attempts to get it.”

Even Jesus struggled with accepting God’s desire over his own. Luke 22:42 But because we call him Lord, Lord—we know in the gut of our desires that our wonderful father has a much bigger and better plan for us in all of this, if only we will wait and trust him.

1 Peter 5:7
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

Don’t let the devil use your desire for a husband against you today. Remind yourself that you worship the one true GOD, not the feeling of love. 1 John 4:16, God IS love. Get some.

The Story They Don't Tell You-Part 2

(continued from Part 1...)

A month later we go to a Christian leadership camp where of course she gets convicted again about her relationship. Julie opened up to me one night and shared how much it hurt her when she would talk about the great things God was doing and Josh would look at her with a blank face and ask questions like, "What are you talking about??" She was definitely starting to feel the pain of continuously trying to turn the relationship towards God.

So naturally, she went home and broke up with Josh once and for all. Not. Instead, Julie began to pray for God to make an obvious turn in the conversation toward their situation. God probably #smh'ed (shook his head) and said, "No Julie, you have to do this on your own to show me that you trust me."

A week went by, and Julie had a quiet time about being obedient to God in a timely manner. She knew exactly what God was trying to say. However she chose to wait and pray a little longer. Another week goes by and different situations and conversations are continually pushing her more and more towards the breaking up with Josh.

Then one morning she has a quiet time based on Joshua 24:15 which says, "Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve...” At that moment, Julie knew exactly what she needed to do, and she knew she needed to do it that very day. All day at work her usual radio station played break up songs rather than the normal cheerful ones. She played the conversation in her mind over and over again all day long. After work she came to me and we talked it through, I prayed for her, and she left to do what she needed to do.

I immediately said a huge prayer for both Julie and Josh. I also prayed that God would show me how to react when Julie returned. Genuienly concerned I tried to guess what Julie's emotions would be as she came back to my house, but I couldn't. An hour past and she still wasn't back yet. I prayed again and continued working on a project.

A few minutes later I heard a car pull up in the driveway. I ran to the front door to look and all I see is Julie running inside, her hands covering her face and her heart broken. She went straight for my arms and we hugged and she sobbed for several minutes. No words, just painful tears...

Finally she agreed to sit on the couch with a box of Kleenexes and explain what happened. After choking down a few sobs, she finally managed to get out the words, He hates me. This poor sweet girl was broken because Josh did not understand one thing about God or putting him first in her life. She continued sobbing, then choked again, He hates me so much.

I then spent the next hour comforting her and patiently waiting as I listened to her broken tears hit my shirt. As I sat there hurting for my dear friend Julie, it hit me. I felt like God reminded me and said, "This is why I have given you the passion to tell others about the blessings that come from trusting me and waiting for my perfect plan."

Isaiah 30:18 says,

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;

he rises to show you compassion.

For the Lord is a God of justice.

Blessed are all who wait for him!

The passage goes on to say that when we cry out to God he hears us! Our pitiful cry for help from him is heard in his ears and held precious in his heart. It also says that no matter where we are in life, God is right there whispering in our ear which way turn.

"Choose for yourself this day who you will serve..."

I beg of you ladies, don't date someone who isn't leading you spiritually. Don't date anyone you wouldn't marry. Be very very careful with whom you chose to invest your time, heart, and emotions into. Wasting your precious pearls on the wrong guy just isn't worth it. God has so much more planned for you! Please, wait upon the Lord.

The Story They Don't Tell You-Part 1

2 days ago I was reminded again why my heart feels so strongly about sharing the importance of waiting to you all. Over the course of the past few years I have watched one of my closest and dearest friends slip from grace and turn to boyfriends as her since of happiness and security. Although she only dated 2 guys, staying with the latter for almost a year, the pain and struggles she went through because of it was horrifying.

Now, I should explain that this was a very nice young man who treated her with the utmost respect. They crossed no boundaries sexually and did not become attached at the hip like other dysfunctional couples. In fact, to most outsiders their relationship was fine. However, from a Christian and biblical point of view, her relationship with this man was a cancer slowly eating away the joy that Jesus brought into her life.

So what was it that caused her to become miserable on the inside? Was he unfaithful? Rude? Gay? Nope. He wasn't leading her spiritually.

Now, my eyes tear up just thinking about it, but that's because I know the pain that comes with dating or marrying guys that don't take the lead. However, in case you don't know, let me explain a little further.

This girl, (her name is Julie) has always had a beautiful heart full of kindness and mercy. She loves to laugh and giggle and share Jesus stories with all of our friends. In fact, she's made a huge impact on her friends and family through her faith in Christ. I have watched Julie grow up stronger throughout her high school years and have loved hearing her stories as I went on to college.

Unfortunately, one day I noticed Julie had shied off from talking to me as much. Curious, I soon found out that she had a new boyfriend who I knew from school, named Josh. As soon as I saw her relationship status on Facebook my stomach sickened. Not because he is a horrible person, not because I am anti-dating, and not from jealousy at all. My heart ached because I knew this guy was going to suck the life out of her little by little. He had been to church once or twice, and definitely did not have the Acts 4:20 life that Julie had.

Throughout her senior year I watched her drift farther away from both me and God, talking to her about the situation a few times, but I knew deep down God was the only one who could speak to her in this situation. And so I did what I do best, I began to pray.

Over Christmas break I came home from college and that was when I did the actual Divine Dating bible study. One night after studying, Julie brought up her boyfriend situation. She knew Josh wasn't right for her. She knew deep down that things between them would never work out, however a few weeks later and they were just as smitten as ever. So again, I prayed.

Fast forward to May when I moved home for the Summer. Julie and I talked about the situation again, this time I was starting to get really heartbroken for her. She told me that God had been telling her the same thing, this man cannot lead you spiritually and it is of no benefit to either of you to stay together. By this point she had noticed her spirituality had slipped, she knew she hadn't been to church as often as she used to go. She also knew that many of our friends were unhappy about her relationship. But being the kindhearted person she is, she delayed. Not realizing that ever second delaying the break up, she was allowing Josh to get closer and closer to her, attaching himself to her heart.

(Click here for part 2)

People Can't Change People!

Sorry I have been slacking this past week. School tests, a long weekend, and more quizzes have kept me more than occupied and I apologize. However, I am back with more encouragement from my King!

Something that keeps popping up in my life and especially in my quiet times with God, is that people can't change people. I think this is very very hard for me to grasp because of my pride and overwillingness to help people at times.

It all started when I was venting to my mother about how upset it makes me when I see Christians deliberately walking in the wrong path after I lovingly shared the truth of the bible with them. I get so angry because I see these wonderful Christian girls and guys who come to me humbled for advice, then turn away and walk right back into the trouble they came out of. Why?! I just want them to be close to God.

But after talking with my discipler about this issue, God quickly pointed out that the problem was not the other people, but my own motives. Why was this making me so angry? Because they weren't doing what I advised them to do! Advised. Not commanded. That's the thing about other people...you can pray for 'em, you can preach to em, you can share biblical insight with 'em, but you will never change a person.

Lots of times you hear people say at sentimental events, "This woman made me into the woman I am today." This may be half true, in that she encouraged you to be the woman you are today, but no person can actually change another person. That's where God's sovereignty steps in. I grew up my whole life getting preached too and taught the right morals, but it didn't mean anything to me until God hit me on the head with a skillet and pointed out that my life was worth way more than I was living it.

A lot of times as women, (controlling nature being our downfall) we try to change people. We try to change our boyfriend's decision to wait for marriage. We try to change our husband's heart towards having date night. We try to change all sorts of things in our male counterparts, our friends, and our family. But the truth is, no matter how much screaming, yelling, pleading, and praying we do...it's still all left up to God to change the heart. A quote that clarifies this point for me is this:

Our responsibility is to pray, share, love, and serve others.

God's responsibility is to draw, convict, and change.

Perhaps if we would step back and let God be God (like we are always failing at,) then God would give us everything we need in this life. (Psalm 37:7 and Psalm 46:10 reiterate this.) Remember, only God can change the heart.

Is Kissing Toads Necessary?

"Before you meet your handsome prince, you have to kiss a lot of toads."

I'm sure you've heard this old saying a time or to in your lifetime, especially if you group up watching the Disney princess movies. I always loved this quote and thought it was perfect for single ladies like myself. However, as I was reading it last week I really thought about it, and I decided that I disagree.

I mean, is it really necessary that each of us go and date a lot of "toads," or losers before we find prince charming? Not at all. We have to understand that God already has our husband picked out for us

. Dating all the wrong people, kissing them, and giving our emotions away to them--has absolutely NO effect on changing God's mind or persuading him to reveal your prince to you sooner.

It can however lead you to settle for a toad rather than the prince set apart for you.

Now if you have kissed a few toads don't worry, God still has a marvelous plan for you, just as long as you don't mess it up and settle for less than God's best.

When I think about all the husband stories I've heard from young women, three things always stand out in their stories. Before God blessed them by revealing their mate to them they had to:

1. Find confidence and peace with themselves. This includes being content with their looks and body--knowing that the way they are is a masterpiece from God and he meant for every part of them to look the way that it does. This also includes knowing their personalities and understanding their spiritual strengths and how they can use that to serve in God's kingdom work.
2. They gave their dating lives over to God. Praying and seeking his will in every area of their life, dating was no different. They stopped pursuing, manipulating, and trying. They simply said, "Here God, this is yours now. Do whatever you want to do with it, I have no power over you." They realized that their love story would be better written by God than by them (See: Give God the Pen.)
3. Finally, they stopped being consumed with dating, marriage, and boys--and they shifted all of their focus and attention to doing kingdom work--the work of God. Serving at their churches, discipling younger girls, consistently seeking God in every morning's quiet time. I always see God work soon after women fall completely in love with God, trusting him in EVERY area of their life.

I'm not presenting these things to you as the gospel, I am simply saying this has been the pattern for many girls around me who are now engaged or married. I really think it is God showing us to trust him more and worry less. We must not forget the work of his wonderful hands! :)

Psalm 145:4-5

"One generation will commend your works to another;

they will tell of your mighty acts.

They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty,

and I will meditate on your wonderful works."

"Can this man pastor me?"

First of all let me apologize for not posting in a week, I have had an insane week between finals, moving around, and starting a new class. Blogger was also down for a day or two in there somewhere. Anyhow, my life is returning back to normal a little bit and so I am back! God's been teaching me so much this past week too! I have lots to share with you all :)

One of the first things that sticks out in my mind, comes from a video my friend and I watched the other day. I will post the whole video on here because I highly recommend watching it, however if you cannot spare 11 minutes you can watch from 6:30-7:45 and know what I am talking about.

Anyhow, the part that God keeps bringing up in my mind though is the part where the speaker recommends women to ask themselves before anything else, "Can this man PASTOR me?" Pastor Bryant makes this point because he realizes this is the most important thing to look for in a husband. He clearly explains that Adam not stepping up is the downfall of man. That is how Adam fell from perfection. I know I have talked about this a little bit on here before, but you can also expect more to come on this topic.

Most girls say that want a "Christian man" to marry, but they do not realize that it is so, so much more than that. Wives who are spiritually stronger than their husbands are often miserable. It's not the way we were meant to be. Men were created to lead us towards God (1 Corinthians 11:3.) They are our protectors, prayer warriors, and spiritual leaders. Ladies, please hold out for a man who can lead.

Start praying now for a husband with initiative, wisdom, and discernment. Pray for a man who is wise enough to follow the will of God and who has enough initiative to seek not only you, but GOD with all of his heart and soul. A man of God is a pursuer. He seeks God on a daily basis, looking, listening, and striving towards the ultimate goal of heaven (Philippians 3:14.) Therefore, a godly man is going to have the natural characteristic of pursuing you.

Do NOT throw yourself at any guy. Do not manipulate, text, interrogate, or anything else in order to make him want you. God already has your husband picked out, and when this man reaches the state of leading you spiritually, he will undoubtedly pursue after you like he has God. Wait for it sister, it will be worth it.

Redefining "The Wait"

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

--"While I'm Waiting" lyrics

Life is short and fleeting. The bible says the days are evil. We don’t even know if tomorrow will come or not. The only thing we can count on is what lies in front of us, the present, the here and now.

Single ladies, your life does not go on hold because you are waiting for prince charming.

Dating ladies, your life does not stop because you’re waiting for him to pop the question.

Engaged women, God has a purpose for the time in your life between engagement and marriage.

Married women, your life isn’t finished because you are married; God has many plans for you still.

One of my friends recently pointed out to me that we have this horrible assumption that we must be absolutely still and do nothing while we are waiting. Waiting has a horrible connotation for our society—when we think of waiting we are instantly irritated and upset—we just want it now! Give it to us now! I shouldn’t have to wait! I’m above this!

“You’re waiting because you’re not ready yet. Wanting it now is pride.”

—a wise man once said

God has his plans made up for us (Ephesians 2:10.) He has everything working out in his perfect timing, we just have to exhale and trust him. This time of waiting, is a time of blessing and growth. God uses times of wait to stretch our patience, deepen our dependence on him, and bring us closer to his love and protection.

God has been really challenging me to redefine the word “wait” in my life. I no longer want to think of it as annoying and “taking forever!” I now want to think of waiting as a prolonged period of patience-enduring faith; an opportunity to grow spiritually and deepen my walk with the Lord. I think this is what God intended for the word “wait.”

Isaiah 40:31 says,

“Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.” God promises the wait will strengthen our character and renew our trust and energy for following him.

So stop focusing on what everyone else is doing around you with their lives. Stop trying to guess what God is going do for you, stop trying to manipulate situations to make things happen faster, and stop screaming at the microwave for taking too long--everything will happen in God’s perfect timing. Be patient, and trust him.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven…”