Breaking the Cycle: Who will you choose?

In my last two posts I have talked about breaking the cycle.  As I said, I am surrounded by cycle-breakers and I love it.  God blesses those who earnestly seek him (Hebrews 11:6, Proverbs 8:17.)

One particular young man has been steadily breaking chains throughout his entire adult life, but recently, I've watched him come to a decision he hasn't made as easily as the others.

This man was born into a world without a father who cared for him.  His mother had eight kids with a few different men, and so he was raised by his mother and step-father with two other step-siblings and a mixture of family members moving in and out of the house.

As a young boy this man had a dream to grow up and be a preacher some day, but as the emptiness of a broken home set in, he soon lost this vision to drugs, alcohol, and women.  Throughout high school he was rarely out of the principals office.  He dabbled in gangs, skipped most classes, and even became a rapper of terribly degrading music.  Anyone who knew him then said he would be in jail before graduation.

Fortunately for him the grace of God stepped in, as it does for all of us at some point or another.  It was the fall he turned seventeen that this young man made his first big choice towards breaking the sinful cycles in his family and in his own life.  At a student-lead bible study, he gave his life to Christ on his knees in prayer with a fellow Christian male.

For the next two years he made choice after choice--all reflecting the grace of God he had washed his life with.  Nothing was slowing him down.  Each day he woke up in an atmosphere of smoke, profanity, and hatred, and yet he prayed his way through the attacks of Satan.  I even watched him conquer loosing special people in his life, some of which went to be eternally with Christ, others who are now spending eternity in hell.  Throughout these times, he grew closer to God, grieving with a counselor and studying the Word for guidance.

So for the past five years this man has chosen God over and over again, but this time I wonder what he will choose.  We've all prayed, poured into, and helped out as much as God's spirit will allow us too.  We all hope and want the best for him.  We want him to choose God one more time, once and for all, to give this heavy burden over to him.

You see, there was one area of his life, he hasn't let go of yet.  One area he refuses to lay at Christ's feet.  This is often the hardest area for all of us to lay down, probably because of its high level of importance. This area that I am referring to is dating.  Relationships.

Over six months now, I have watched him fight with God, telling him that he will get married to who he wants when he wants, no matter what.  I've watched him do this a million times, and every time God wins.

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting to get different results.  Well, that's what he's doing.  He has controlled relationship after relationship, rebelling against God's model to trust and obey the timing and placing of all he has planned.  And this time seems to be his last choice.

In Romans, the bible talks about Gods amazing grace, how he gives and he gives and he gives, but ultimately there comes a choice where we choose infinitely who we will serve, and when we choose ourselves for the last time, God gives us over to our flesh.  That's the point where this man is at.  Years of cycle-breaking potentially washed down the drain.  What will he do?  What will I do, besides watch and pray?

Rise up cycle breakers.
How will you choose?

Joshua 24:15

"Choose you this day whom ye will serve;
whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood,
or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell:
but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."

Are you a cycle-breaker?  Send your story to divinedating.org@gmail.com for a chance to be featured on a post.

Breaking the Cycle of a Broken Mother

As mentioned in my last post, "Born to Break the Chains," God has opened my eyes to the world of cycle-breaking in our spiritual lives.  I'm still wrapping my mind around the idea, so explaining this to others might be a challenge--but here we go.

All around me I see men and women rising up.  They are standing out from a family of secrecy, lies, and bitterness.  I have no idea how or why, but these beings were the chosen few (Ephesians 1:11-12.)  They were hand-picked by God to break the sinful patterns Satan placed in their families.

Of these friends, (like I said, there are many,)  there is one special woman of God who has seen the pain and unrest that feeds from her mother's prideful spirit.  Her mother is undoubtedly a product of the fall, just like the rest of us, she, however, has chosen to stay that way--despite the Lord's numerous attempts to redeem her.  You may not think growing up in a house with a self-centered mother is no big deal, but look at the deeper level here.

Proverbs 11:22
"Like a gold ring in a pig's snout 
is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion."

Proverbs 12:4

"A wife of noble character is her husbands crown,

but a disgraceful wife is decay in his bones."

Proverbs 12:25

"An anxious heart weighs a man down,

but a kind word cheers him up."

Proverbs 18:8

"The words of a gossip are like choice morsels;

they go down to a man's inmost parts."

Proverbs 18:12

"Before his downfall a man's heart is proud,

but humility comes before honor."

Proverbs 19:13

"...a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping."

Now, I am certainly not saying that I have these proverbs mastered in my own life.  Nor am I saying that I know any women who do, I am however saying that I know women who strive to be life and love to their husbands and families, and I know women who strive to be life and love to themselves.  There is a big difference.

When you look at the facts it should be rather obvious.  I mean, do you really want to come across as a "constant dripping?"  How about a "gold ring in a pig's snout?"  Didn't think so.  

No one grows up saying, "I can't wait to be married so I can walk all over my husband with my anxious heart and disrespectful attitude!  That will be the day I achieve true happiness."  Therefore, we don't purposely choose this kind of fragrance for our own lives.  It is simply the result of Adam and Eve's fall, our sinful nature.

Women are naturally anxious, controlling, over-talkative about their neighbor, and proud.  We naturally want to "encourage" the men in our life by telling them what they should do.  The problem is, this doesn't come across the way we think it does.  To them we are cutting them down, telling them they aren't good enough, and trampling on anything in the way of our personal satisfaction.  Yeah, this is natural.

But here's where we get a say-so.  We have the opportunity to choose what type of woman we want to be.  

Most of us float through life mimicking the habits, actions, and behaviors of our mothers.  It's called imprinting.  Ducks do it too.  Fortunately, the difference between us and ducks is that we are intelligent, free-will creatures who can change this pattern at any given time through a series of choices.

The young woman I told you about has stopped imprinting her mothers sinful nature.  When she was sixteen she made the first choice to step out of her family norm.  She became a believer of Jesus Christ.  Shortly after she gave him control of her entire life, and she has been sprinting  through the race of life ever since.  

I have joyfully watched her go through bible study after bible study, learning the ways of the Lord and what he expects of young women.  She has recently learned the secret to financial freedom apart from her family's debt, and she puts her whole heart into giving God the "first fruits" of her paycheck (Proverbs 3:9.)  Every area of her life has been washed of sinful nature and consumed with the love and grace of God.  She will always be walking in this process of giving him more control, but she chooses daily to take the road less traveled by in her family (Luke 9:23, Philippians 3:8,12.)

Matthew 10:37

"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me;

anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."

Rise up Cycle Breakers.

How will you choose?








Are you a cycle-breaker?  Send your story to divinedating.org@gmail.com for a chance to be featured on a post.

Born to Break the Chains

I heard a song the other day while listening to my favorite radio station, K-Love.  I'm terrible at understanding lyrics with just my ear, so I always catch parts of a song--missing the point of it until I later go home and google the lyrics.  Well, this was one of those songs.  The artist was singing about birthdays, and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what birthdays had to do with Christianity.  So I looked up the lyrics, and nearly fell to the floor as I understood the meaning of the song.  It's absolutely beautiful.

If you get a chance, look at the lyrics to Casting Crown's "Just Another Birthday" by clicking here.

Then take a moment to watch this video featuring the lead singer, Mark Hall:

What a precious Daddy that young girl has.  Mark was right when he explained we all need a loving father figure to pour into us, making us feel secure and safe.  This truly is one of the staples to a solid life, and those without it are far more likely to crumble.

In the lyrics posted above, we walk through a young girl's life, up until the age of twenty-one.  She first tells us of how heartbroken she was when her Daddy never showed up.  Then we see her again a few years later.  She has tried to fill this huge void in her heart with everything possible--sports, friends, alcohol, boys, even sex.  I for one can't blame her for doing this.  She used logical sense to turn towards the things that the world says "make it all better."  She is trying to fill her desire for a father.

At the end of the song, this young mother is watching her daughter laugh and play at her birthday party.  Thanking God for his grace and redemption, she whispers softly to herself, "You are my happy birthday, and you were born to break the chains."

This young girl may or may not know her father either, but her mother has a heavenly hope that surpasses all question and doubt that this young life will survive.  Her mom found the way to peace and restoration, and through that she will train up her child.  This is breaking the cycle.  

You see, the young mother in the song faced many choices throughout her life.  One of those choices was to keep her baby or abort it.  Another could have been to accept the bible study invitation her friend extended to her.  And one of the most important decisions she had, was the one to choose God.  Not just the safe, Americanized Christian God who asks us to go to church on Sunday and be nice to one anther.  No, this woman chose the real thing.

She wanted a God with passion and intimacy.  A God who wants to love her through and through to the very depths of her soul.  A God whose grace humbled her to the point of brokenness, so broken, in fact, that she remained that way until he walked her through the long and bitter-sweet healing process.  

This is the God who filled her void.  This is the God who made her whole and new again, the God who gave her hope and life to pass on to her children, regardless of her circumstances or income.  This woman chose to be a cycle breaker.  She chose to break the cycle of fatherless homes in her family.  No longer did she want to follow in the mistakes of those before her.  This time, she would choose differently, and she would choose right--a decision that will affect her family for generations to come.

Rise up cycle-breakers.

How will you choose?