I joked with my friends about this one night. The two closest pals I have right now are a little over a year away from this milestone, so I informed them how different things would be after December 14th, 2013. I told them I'd be of higher quality than them and conversations amongst us would be impossible. My higher degree of education would undoubtedly separate us until they reach the same pinnacle. I also told them of how they must change their respect and outlook on me as well.
Fortunately, they knew I was kidding, and fortunately, I know this won't happen.
Last night I had an awfully realistic dream that my entire family, including myself, forgot about graduation. We were all joined together for the occasion, but somehow managed to completely forget the time and date of the ceremony..TWICE. Don't ask how this happens twice..it was a dream.
All day today I had that sickening feeling that the dream was real and we were all going to somehow accidentally forget to show up to the ceremony tomorrow afternoon. I think this stems, in part, from some real anxiety I have about the whole thing. I mean, I haven't gotten any emails, messages or letters from the college. Surely they'll send me more information on what to do, where to go, how to dress...a reminder even?
Nope. The only reason I have any clue where this ceremony will take place is because when I payed my $40 for my cap and gown the bookstore lady handed me a single sheet of paper. On the top eighth portion of that paper was a small paragraph giving the time, date and location of the ceremony for "Gaylord College." That's it.
So, yes, part of me has no idea what to expect and that results in weird dreams about misplacing the whole event altogether.
More importantly, I have been sitting here reflecting on my time here at this university. All but the first three months have been somewhat recorded on this blog, actually.
Fall 2010
Spring 2011
Fall 2011
Spring 2012
...some time off.
Fall 2013
That's really only 5 semesters. How strange time is. In the midst of it it seems to drag on forever, ceasing no end, and then when you least expect it...it's gone.
I think back on all my courses here; most within my major since I covered the basics at a junior college.
I remember my first taste of journalism. JMC 2033. That is still the toughest class I have ever had, and for that, it is my favorite. I challenged myself to learn a completely different style of writing; one that included an AP Stylebook and relentless editing from a red pen.
I remember my first taste of feminism in my "Red Dirt Women" class. I signed up because I thought I'd learn about Reba McEntire and The Pioneer Woman. How wrong I was. The class was about women's rights and being open-minded to liberal thinking. Although I felt unfairly graded for my religious beliefs, I still passed, and learned a thing or two about the other half.
The most interesting observation on my reminiscence, is that I don't consider this a primarily educational journey. I wouldn't sell the idea of college for educational purposes, although that has been obtained here and I can do and say and quote many things I wouldn't have been able to had I not pursued a secondary education.
However, I would highly recommend college to my younger counterparts for a different reason: a spiritual journey.
My time here has been nothing less of that. From jumping in full throttle to the largest Baptist Student Ministries program in the state, to breaking free of that and finding my own rhythm with the Spirit, I have learned to trust God with my major. Countless hours spent worrying over what major would get me happiness were eased with peace when I finally let God take the wheel and remind me that he had a plan in everything.
I also learned to trust him with my extra-curricular activities, my family, my friends, and now my future career.
I remember having to deal with criticism from a spiritual superior...twice. The first time I thought my world was crashing down. I thought I was being punished for trying to do good. Fortunately, I hit my knees and God showed me the strength he placed within me and told me to keep being an example for them in speech and in purity.
I remember when my main focus here was to find a rich husband. You can bet God put an end to that real quick. "Keep your eyes on me, child," he said. "I'll take you to joy and contentment if you just trust me."
In fact, it was God who introduced me to my closest spiritual friend, and several others. I can not count the number of Jesus stories I have listened to and spoken on this campus. I am so grateful for those times.
It was God who lit a desire in my heart to start this blog, and take it to where it is now and even further. It was the college classroom that gave me the tools to do this.
This semester has been an interesting spiritual journey as well. I think the main theme has been letting go. Letting go of control, and letting go of my plans.
Letting go of sin and letting go of unnecessary worries.
Letting go of the temporary and holding on to the eternal.
Letting go of man's ways and turning to God's.
Yes, I am hours away from having a piece of paper that puts a lot of worth next to my name in many people's eyes, but I definitely do not have all the answers. No, in fact, I think I have less answers than I thought I had when I began this journey. I have learned to love and live and let live. I have learned that my parents are pretty cool and that I can survive on my own.
I have the world before me, and Jesus by my side.
No clue where I'm going
but for him I will ride.
To end my speech.... I would like to thank my professors for giving themselves, not just as instructors, but as people and friends and mentors. I am grateful for my friends, in each season, giving their wisdom, home and encouragement. I am so very thankful for my parents giving their whole-hearted support and instruction, and for my roommates for showing me unconventional ideas for breakfast and entertainment. Special thanks to campus ministries for taking me in as your own and showing me my true calling. But most importantly, thank you to the Lord, for being with me the entire time and making this whole experience worth while. It has been nothing less than a spiritual journey. God bless...and....BOOMER SOONER!
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