Sunday, December 4, 2011

What is "Hanging Out?"

One of the hardest things for me to get used to in the city is the difference in "hanging out."   No, I am not talking about anything sexual, and I'm not referring to body parts of any kind.  I am talking about spending good quality time with friends of your choice.

Urban Dictionary says the term usually refers to some type of fun with friends, but the way country kids describe fun and the way city kids describe fun is completely different.

In the small town I call home, my friends and I spent our high school days getting into every kind of fun available, (which obviously forced us to come up with creative alternatives to the ideal.)  Although most nights in my town consisted of sittin' on tailgates in front of the Farmer's Coop gas station, there were the occasional full-moon nights like described in my posts, The Grain Bins, and Taggin' Up the Ag Barns, and Climbin' the Water Tower.  


Every time I visit home my friends are constantly walking in and out of the house, just dropping in to "hang out."  When I say hang out, I mean literally hang out.  Most normally we all sit around the bar in the kitchen and watch my mother cook, while talking about whatever the latest gossip might be.  These chat sessions usually last 2-4 hours, sometimes longer.  The great part is, we can do this any part of the day, any day of the week.  There are no operating hours, rules, or regulations, just good folk sittin' around swappin' stories and reminscin' on the good times past, present, and future.

This type of leisure time was all I had ever known when I moved to the big city.  I had more talking hours with my friends that I could even count, and this for one thing, is what I contribute to making us so close.  My first semester in college proved to be a shock when I asked my new acquaintances if they wanted to hang out.  


"Yeah sure!" they'd reply, "I'm available from 1-2 on Thursday, or 3-5 on Mondays and Wednesdays, which works best for you?"


Looking back with a blank stare I would reply with a broad answer like, "anytime."  Who knew you had to be fit into the schedule of these city slickin' folk!  Who did they think they were anyhow, the president??


"Great! You want to meet me at McAlister's downtown or at the Union on campus?" they would say next.

Good grief, I would think.  Why can't you just come over unannounced and watch Everybody Loves Raymond reruns with me, I wanted to reply.  At first I took this highly scheduled alternative to hanging out as a slap in the face.  Why didn't people like me here?  I had always been the life of the party before, perhaps it was my look, my personality, or my sense of humor.  Is there something I say that offends them?  Why don't they want to spend time with me for longer than an hour?

Before too long I soon found the answer to these disturbing questions.  
It's the city.  Everyone's on a schedule.  
This came through loud and clear as I began juggling harder classes, internships, meetings, and fun.  Yes, I gave in and started scheduling "fun" in my planner.  As ridiculous as I still think this all is, I now understand that this is not a slap in the face, a rude suggestion, or a stuck-up habbit.  It is the way things must be handled on busy schedules with busy people.

Although I have come to cherish the 30 minute-to-an-hour lunches with my friends, I still feel most relieved when I'm back home with friends who have no schedule, no responsibilities, and no need to rush off.  Now that's how your soul gets fed.

2 comments:

  1. I completely agree. It's sad that we are so busy we don't really have time to just enjoy time with our friends without having to think about the next thing we have to rush off to. It's hard to be present in the moment. I loved hanging out with you last night!

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  2. Aww, I loved hanging out with you too!! I plan on many more in the future! :)

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