Wait for God’s Plan Please

I think men and women alike suffer from low levels of self-esteem. I think this problem comes from finding our identities in things other than Christ, even good things such as family, friends, or careers. The problem is, these things change and God doesn’t—for more on identity check out my post called “What is Identity.”

Anyhow, so because of our self-esteem problem I see dozens and dozens of my closest Christian friends settle for boyfriends and girlfriends who are less than God’s best for them. They don’t feel worthy of the Christian man who leads the youth group. They don’t feel like they deserve a wife who saved herself for marriage. They have this idea in their heads and so they settle for the easy-to-get, the people who don’t exactly treat them the way they want to be treated, but it’s okay because at least they have someone right?

Wrong. God has someone specifically picked out for you to marry. Jesus thinks the world of you. He loved you so much he DIED ON THE CROSS FOR YOU. If he cares enough about you to do that, how much more do you think he cares about your future marriage? ?

God has plans for each and every one of us that he has had since the beginning of time. Ephesians 2:10.

When a guy or a girl shows interest in you, no one said you have to date them. It is not your obligation to say yes because you feel sorry for them or because your lonely. For one thing, if you don’t feel like this is person meets all the requirements of someone you would want to marry, then don’t date them. God doesn’t want you to suffer heartache because you feel sorry for someone. And secondly, you are just hurting the other person by leading them on with no intention of being married later on.

Think about others, but also think about yourself and what God has planned for you. Study the godly men in your life, study your dad, the bible, and Jesus’ actions. What characteristics do you see that you want in a future mate? (compassionate, encouraging, strong, takes initiative, etc.) What Characteristics do you see that you don’t like? (judgemental, controlling, passive, etc.)

Make a list of biblical and godly characteristics that you would prefer in a marriage. Present them to God and ask God to match your heart desires with his. Then wait. Don’t date anyone unless they fulfill the requirements.

Now I know half of you just said, “But how do you know unless you date them first?”

My answer to that question is friendship. If you aren’t friends with a guy before he asks you out, you should say no anyways. A relationship built without friendship first will be awkward and unrealistic. Think about it, when you are hanging out with a guy you like, you are on your best behavior, you are totally aware of your every move, and you dress your best.

However when you’re just hanging out with your friends—YOU DON’T CARE! You act goofy, you where your sloppy bun, and you just have fun! Because it’s relaxed, it’s chill..you know those people are going to love you no matter how you act or look.

The opposite goes for the guy, you don’t know what he’s really like either unless you’ve spent time around him IN GROUP SETTINGS just as friends—observing him and his actions. It doesn’t take much longer than 15 minutes to see if a guy takes initiative, cares about others, and loves God.

And the other half of you who probably asked this, “But what if they change?”

The answer to that is simple but hard. It all goes back to God having a plan and working it out in his perfect timing. If he has destined you two to be together, he will change that person’s heart even to the point of them leading you spiritually (if you are a girl.) The hard part is, you must wait. Don’t force it, don’t push it, don’t instigate. Let God be God while you go on with your life. If and when the timing is right, God will let you know.

I hope this helps some of you today, if you have questions or comment please post, I would love the feedback. Thanks for reading and God Bless.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."