How to Love Americans

I think this song is so powerful.  How many people are you surrounded by that just need a little love?

I'm willing to bet you don't even know.

Classmates, friends, siblings..you see them everyday but do you really know what they are struggling with deep down?

Because of the society we're raised in, we hide the mess and look pretty on the outside.  We all know this because we all do it.  But what happens when the outside caves and we need someone there who really cares?  What happens when we need love--the real kind--the kind that heals?

Forgive us father, for we are so arrogant that we can't admit our own faults.  Forgive us for trying to be people we aren't.  Forgive me for trying too hard.  Forgive me for not showing weakness.  Because of my selfishness I know there are others who share the same struggles as I do, but I can't witness to them because then they would know my messy secrets.  I'm sorry father.  It is a disgusting sin to swallow.  Pride.  Why do we do this to ourselves?

I was handed a Billy Graham pamphlet at church last Sunday..inside I found information about Americans.  In a typical American neighborhood you can expect to find this:

• 7 of your neighbors struggle with depression; some consider suicide
• 14 feel crippled or trapped by fear and anxiety
• 7 abuse or addicted to drugs or alcohol
• 8 are struggling with the loss of a job
• 3 are grieving the death of a loved one
• 60 don't profess to be born again.

I do love the campaign Mr. Graham has going and I encourage you to follow the link and participate in your own church, but right now I want to focus on those statistics.  Some of you may find them hard to believe, but the more I see of the world the more I see truth in these numbers; we just hide them so it doesn't look so bad.

I thought a girl in my art class described it perfectly when she painted this picture:

It's about our hidden flaws.  The guy on the left is suicidal, the woman in the middle is anorexic and the girl sitting down on the far right struggles with depression.

I love this painting because I could just stare at it all day long and get so much meaning from it.  I particularly like the woman in the middle, because from the outside you know she is beautiful.  I'm sure everyone thinks she has a lovely life full of parties, romance and sophistication--but until you look closer you wouldn't know that she's a broken soul who desperately needs love and acceptance from someone who really cares.  Yes Jesus, but also a friend.  Not the kind she has who talk about jewelry and make-up all the time, but a true friend who loves her for her and doesn't care what size she is.  She doesn't need a religious weirdo trying to save her so they can feel better about themselves.  She needs someone she can trust.  Someone who says it's okay to be real.

This is the perfect portrait of America.

We are hurting and dirty and dieing.  We are bruised, broken and ashamed.  We need help.  We know about Jesus, we have him..but now we need each other.  Real friendship.

I came to this conclusion after watching October Baby for the fifth time.  The girl on there seems crazy, dependent and annoying--but she found healing through Jesus and a true friend.

I thought about that for a long time...

We try to make acting like Jesus this big huge thing where we have to start a non-profit organization and change the world with free Bibles and hot meals for everyone.  But really, "You can't boil the ocean."  We have to start small and we have to start with ourselves.  Me.  You.  Individually.

What would Jesus do?

He would love everyone! Everywhere! Forever!!

Right.  So what does that mean we should do?

Love everyone!  Everywhere! Forever!

Okay so let's break this down.  Instead of trying to "boil the ocean" let's look at your life.  Actually, let's look at mine since I don't know "you."  I have been blessed with a Mother, a Father, a Brother and about 5 or so friends who mean the world to me.  These are the people who mean the most to me.  They are the ones I laugh with, cry with and share my dreams with.  These are the people who won't leave me--for better or for worse.  

After watching October Baby, I feel like the Lord personally challenged me to look closer into these 8 lives and see what I can do to love them more like Jesus.  I can't be everyone's best friend no matter how hard I try..but I can love deeply 8 people.  That's doable for me.

So I made a list of these names, and next to each of their names I wrote out how I could personally help them feel the love of Jesus more through my life.  For my Brother it is being there to cheer him on.  For my crazy Mexican friend it's just being supportive of his new dream.  It's small things that add up to large things.

If we all purposely loved the small group of people in our lives better, I think we could make a huge change. Then someone would be there for the girl who secretly struggles with anorexia.  And when our small group meshes well and overflows love for one another, eventually we can reach out and add another soul to our love group.

BUT, let us not forget that this begins with humility.  I had to first realize that I need help, love and support from friends.  I had to realize that I was wrong. I am a sinner and I am broken and I will always be that way no matter how hard I try.

It first takes me getting uncomfortable and sharing my real struggles with my real friends and family in order to hear their side of the story too.

Also, I have to remember how imperfect I am and not judge them for their sins.  Just because I sin differently than they do, doesn't make me a better person.  We all fall short.

I guess I'm reinventing the wheel here.  Read Acts for more ideas and follow the life of Christ in John.

Samson's Consequences

So I was going to call this post “Samson’s Second Mistake,” but then I realized I am kind of out of order with the story.  The real order of these posts should be like this:

Samson’s First Mistake
"Should I tell my boyfriend everything??"
This one. (Samson's Consequences)

Sorry for my silly confusion!  Anyhow, continuing from yesterday’s post, we know that Samson ignored the warning signs that Delilah was trying to kill him and decided to stay with her because he was “in love.”  This was his first mistake.

His second mistake was talked about in "Should I tell my boyfriend everything??"  I discussed how serious of a mistake it was for Samson to tell Delilah “all that was within his heart.”  I didn’t however discuss the consequences he faced because of that action.

Going back a step
In Judges 16, Samson finally breaks down and tells Delilah his strength is in his hair.  This was both a mistake of pride and a mistake of sharing too much of his heart.  Pride because he had the idea in his head that he was indestructible and telling a woman his weakness wouldn’t hurt him any.  How wrong he was. 

This was also a mistake of sharing too much of his heart, and we know that because Proverbs 4:23 and Micah 7:5-7 tells us that there are parts of our hearts reserved for God alone. (Read "Should I tell my boyfriend everything??" for more information.)

What happened?
So Samson makes the mistake of telling Delilah his weakness.  Of course, she calls her Philistine buddies in to test the theory—lo and behold it worked!  She woke him up saying, “Samson, the Philistines are upon you!”  He awoke and tried to rise and fight, but verse 20 says “But he did not know that the Lord had left him.”

Ouch.  Do you know what it feels like to have God leave you?  Did you blame God?  Get mad at him?  Scream to his face?

Or 

Did you stop and think, "where did I push him away?"  When did my pride step in and start taking control?  What did I do to disobey my heavenly father?

Taking the second approach can lead you back to God, repentance, and life.  This is a humble man’s attitude towards God, realizing that He his sovereign over all and we are mere humans who screw everything up when not in God’s perfect and pleasing will.

The first choice, however, can lead you to depression, destruction, and ultimately death.

Samson’s Choice
If you go back and look at the first part of "Should I tell my boyfriend everything??" I briefly discussed Samson’s arrogant personality.  Because he was very cocky and powerful, do you think he chose the first choice of hating God, or do you think he chose the humble man’s approach?

Sadly enough, Samson through a pity party instead of humbling himself.  After his head had been shaved and his strength (God) had left him, the Philistines wanted him to come entertain them; so he did.  He entered the arena with rage and hatred, screaming to God, “Please strengthen me just once more, and let me with one blow get revenge on the Philistines for my two eyes.”

Then Samson reached up and grabbed two pillars holding up the temple and pushed them up so that everything came falling down, crushing him and many others.

More Consequences…
Then the bible says, “Thus he killed many more when he died than while he lived.”  Basically he committed suicide and killed more people by doing that than he had while he was alive (which was a lot considering he won many battles.) 

I think suicidal thoughts creep in when we focus too much on ourselves.  Like Samson, we struggle with pride and often try to make all things about us, rather than God.  Suffering: for example. So a loved one dies, our natural tendency is to throw a poor me party and cry, blame God, become depressed, and eventually talk ourselves into possible suicide.  This is not at all God’s plan.

Even death and suffering is not about us.  If we make it about us the outcome will most definitely be miserable like Samson’s story proved.  And we will also negatively affect more people than almost anything else.

On the Contrary
On the flip side, if we chose to live our lives for something far greater than ourselves or any human establishment, we will see the hope, love, and mercy that God has shown us all.  Therefore rejoicing in his grace and passing it on to others, sharing the joy of true life with them.  Do you see now why God wants the best for you?  Do you see how he wants to include you in his wonderful plan?

What are you mad about?  What have you blamed God for that has been hurting you?  Perhaps you need to spend some time sharing that hurt and pain with God and letting him know how you feel.  Then lay down “you.”  Turn upward and focus on God.  Ask him to show you HIS great plan over yours. Tell him to show you how life focused on Him is far better than life focused on you.

Sooner Secrets

So there's this thing on display at the Union called "Sooner Secrets." It's where students can write their secrets on an index card anonymously and some group makes it a display. It is very cool looking and pretty neat. However as I read through the secrets my heart began to break for all the people on that display. I assume a majority of these are girls, but here are just a few that stood out to me.

"I haven't been swimming in years because I'm too embarrassed of my body. I live on a lake."

"I don't feel like I ever fit in."

"It's embarrassing to tell people I don't drink or do drugs."

"I've been compared to people my whole life...I'm nothing more than average."

"If my boyfriend knew about my religion, I don't think he would date me."

"I would keep a guy around if the sex was really good."

There are plenty more where these came from, but these are just some I found on their blog site. (http://soonersecrets.blogspot.com/)

I don't know if any of you can identify with any of these secrets, and I don't know if any of the people who wrote these are reading this. But I want to speak to you

anyways. I heard a quote once that said

"We are all desperately insecure in this world; we've just learned how to mask it."

How true is this quote? I know I can identify with almost every one of these secrets. I used to center my whole life on trying to please people. I thought I didn't care. I thought I was just bein' me. But the truth was, I was dressing to impress guys, I was living to impress my friends, and I didn't do the thing I knew were right because it wasn't cool in society's eyes. I spend 5 years of my life living this way. Struggling to keep up, gasping for air and flapping my arms around my head until the water was on top of my head and I was slowly cutting off my own air. And the funny thing is... I thought I was happy. I thought everyone loved me because I was so popular and I could juggle all this. But one summer I found out that the truth was...I was miserable. Completely miserable.

So what changed? How can I live now with truly a free spirit, an open heart, and reassurance of who I am as an individual? God. I know that sounds cliché and religious, but it's not. The thing that made the difference for me was when I found out the God of the universe loves me. Every single part of me. He didn't care that I have hurt hundreds of people. He didn't care that I ignored him for 5 years and lived my life for others. He didn't care that I betrayed him for temporary satisfaction from friends and boys. He knew about all the secret, horrible, selfish things I had done, and yet he chose to love me anyways.

Even more than that, he wanted a relationship with me. Not a selfish one where I am used and abused, but a free, open, honest, full of love, humbling, merciful, extravagant, passionate love relationship with me. How humbled I felt. How could anyone love me after all that I had done? How could I ever be completely honest with people and not expect hurt or pain in return?

I know for most of us this is something that is hard to understand, but its grace. Not receiving something we deserve. Romans 3:23 says we have all sinned, and fallen short of the glory of God. We all make mistakes, and Romans 6:23 says we deserve eternal death because of it. Every single one of us deserves to go to hell. BUT the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus. All that means is that God sent us a ticket out of jail. He has a better, more fulfilling life for you (John 10:10) we just have to take it. Romans 10:13 says it's open to anyone who calls on the name of the Lord. He turns down no one. No sin is too bad for God to forgive you and you are not too bad for him to restore you and show you true life. John 10:9-10 says if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart God raised him from the dead you will be saved.

Even if you've never believed any of this, I know if you wrote a Sooner Secret you found relief in confessing your secret to someone. Just think of what relief I have as a Christian, I confess every last sin to God, sometimes even right after they happen. The freeing feeling comes from confessing and knowing that God forgives me and loves me anyways. And that's enough for me, because he is the only person whose opinion truly matters. He is the only one who will ultimately judge me and decide if I am to spend eternity burning and suffering in hell, or praising and rejoicing in his glory. So try opening your heart and honestly confessing your sins, secrets, and insecurities to God. Then believe. Believe that he heals and changes hearts. He changes lives and I can attest to that. He changes everything when you have faith in him and trust him with your heart.

If you need further explanation or someone to talk to, feel free to contact me. I want the best for everyone's life, because I know how hard it is and I know how much freedom comes from a life with God.