Roll Call

"You may say I'm a dreamer
but I'm not the only one

I hope someday you will join us

and the world will be as one"

--Imagine, John Lennon

The past month of my life has been full of changes and excitement.  My first big job, moving back home, re-introducing myself to each of the 3,862 citizens in this town...  It's all very energizing, yet I find my imagination on the loose.  

I have a paycheck now, so I dream about things.  Things like a house, another degree, fondue sets, and other random things.  I also dream about the future.  Where will I be in 10 years?  Where will I be in 5?  What are my goals and what do I need to be doing now in order to reach them?  Will I live here forever?  Will I still get to move off somewhere and live a freestyle life?  Am I going to always do PR, or will I one day be a full time artist and author?

As you can see, my mind quickly overwhelms itself.  I have spent a lot of time meditating on these questions and things.  While I definitely think it is important to have goals and tentative plans (keeping in mind God has the ultimate plans already written out), it is also equally important to live for the moment and enjoy what is in front of you.

That is the message I have received lately.  

While I have most certainly been enjoying my new career and my time living at home with Mom and Pop, there are parts where I am daydreaming and fantasizing too much.  When I wrote more about dating I used to always caution of the dangers of fantasizing.  Usually I spoke in regards to dating, getting married or sexual intimacy.  While the focus of the fantasy is quite different in this situation, the discipline is rather similar.

It all rolls back around to contentment.  Being content with where you are and what you have.  Philippians 4:12 never gets hammered in my brain quite far enough.  It doesn't help that the world around you is screaming "Buy this! Buy that!  Move here and see those!"

Again, goals and rewards and plans are excellent.  Just don't put them above the present.

Before I moved back I dreamed of moving here.  I couldn't wait to be close to my family.  I wanted to learn more about the farm with my Dad and more about gardening with my Grandpa.  I just knew it would be perfect.

Well my circumstances are different than I had dreamed because I have a full time job, however it's up to me to make that dream a reality before it passes and the next dream gets in the way.

I always have to go back to the wonderful Lady A lyrics, "Get caught in the race of this crazy life, tryin' to be everything will make you lose your mind." (American Honey)

I need God to constantly take me to those still and quiet waters and remind me that it's okay to rest, and it's okay to be still.  Resting in the moment is a beautiful thing.  Perhaps one day I will master it as my grandparents have.   They are so pleasant to be around because they never hurry.  They like long, slow, meaningful conversations, and they have a world of wisdom to be found inside each chat.

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;

do not fret when men succeed in their ways,

when they carry out their wicked schemes."

--Psalm 37:7

When you're young and independent and growing and learning as fast as your brain can keep up, it's easy to forget about what's important.  I suggest that your early 20's are meant for just that; finding a balance among all trails you walk upon.

Sometimes we need to let go and sometimes we need to pick up; stand back or jump in.  Listen to the stillness of the Lord and let the wisdom of the holy spirit be your guide.

We're going to be okay.  It's only a decade of learning.  :) 

How Taylor Swift Inspired Me

Yesterday morning I watched the E! True Hollywood Story about Taylor Swift.  The show interviewed her and her family, friends and coworkers.  It documented her success and story from birth till now.  For one thing, I found the documentary interesting because I have watched Taylor Swift's success explode during the past few years of my lifetime.  For another thing, she is only a year older than me and that puts things in a real-life perspective for me.  But the most wonderful part about the show was that it inspired me.

 Taylor Swift's story inspired me in the deep parts of my soul that need to constantly be inspired in order to gravitate toward the level of success they were meant to be a part of.  You see, Swift's success didn't happen over night like we sometimes like to think.  Her story shared the parts of her childhood that were purposely arranged for such a moment as this.

From a young age Swift new she wanted to write music.  She played and sang and wrote all during her childhood.

By age eleven or so she had determined this as her biggest dream, so she took steps towards following that dream.  When she realized how much harder she needed to work to get to her goal, she did.  She worked extremely hard every day, and still does.  Classes, lessons, practice and lots of hours are how she got to where she is today.  It was not chance, luck or circumstance.  It was hard work, inspiration and purpose.

I believe strongly that Taylor Swift is exactly where she needs to be.  God gave her the ability to communicate and heal people through her song writing.  I think that is beautiful.  Much like Swift, we too have purposes that we were created for and that we need to be working our tail off for.

For me, it's writing and painting.  From the earliest of ages I can remember claiming that I wanted to be "an artist and an author" when I grew up.  In third grade a won a state-wide writing contest and I always won county fair awards for my artwork.  These were neat and all, but then I got distracted in middle school.  Friends, sports and everything in between became my focus for a few years.  I don't regret those years though, I learned a lot.

In high school it was all about finishing the race first.  I studied hard, took all my required classes and worked my hardest to win track medals, golf medals and cheerleading honors, and I did.  By my senior year I had taken all of my required classes except my two art requirements.  How silly, I though.  Art was were my passion was, yet I had hardly slowed down long enough to take a single art class during my high school education.  I took beginning art and choir that year.  Those two classes quickly became two of my favorite classes in high school.

In junior college I wanted to major in Art, but I was told there was no future or money in it.  While this redirected my focus, it was also very practical advice that led me to where I am today.  Regardless, I majored in Liberal Arts and took as many art-related classes as I could, which included Painting I and II.  These were the classes that fueled my fire.  I learned how to use oil paints and fell in love with the process and technique of such.

From there I went to a university and got back on the rat race track.  All the while I painted at home in my apartment whenever I could find free time.  There were many times when I would have to purposely mark off a full Saturday in my calendar just so I could have painting and writing time.  I loved school, but I needed a break.  God pointed out that I was running the race and going nowhere fast.  He reminded me strongly that I was built to write and paint and that it was okay if that was what I truly desired.

I took a year off from school.  I wrote a short book and painted dozens of pictures.  People began to know me as an artist.  I sold lots of paintings to people who knew me.  I even created a huge sign for a local business that sold for a lot of money.  I was so excited to know that people believed in me.  I was even more excited to believe in myself.  I studied art and art schools all summer and when I finally went back to finish my last semester of college, I told myself I would go back on one condition.  I was going to take some kind of art class while I was there.

So I did.  By default I landed in "Intermediate Painting Process."  I was supposed to have a bunch of foundation classes before I could enroll in this one, but luckily God found some way to get me in.  I enjoyed this class greatly.  Working with other students on a collegiate level brought me great confidence in my work.  I made close friends especially with one girl in our class.  Her and I talked about plans after college and how to take our art journey into the world of post-grad.

Also during that semester I had a lot of time to continue researching and reading.  I bought books and studied the art business process.

I graduated in December and now I have begun a real job.  I am writing, reading, painting and studying as much as I can in my free time.  While I love my job and am learning a ton being there, I still know my deeper purpose is writing and painting.

Last night I wrote out my goals again.  I wrote out my 5 and 10 year goals and the leaps I would take this year to get there.  Everything seems big, until you break it down into pieces.  The pieces are scary until you make a move and realize it isn't.  Fear is invisible and hope is powerful.  Prayer and petition will keep God on your side and there is nothing you can do without him.

A few minutes ago I was asked to speak at a local civic club about my art.  I almost got nauseous at the thought of speaking publicly about my art.  While this scares me deeply for some reason, I know it is something I must do to strengthen my skills and my stance as an artist.  Plus, if I can share what makes me smile with other people, maybe they will find their confidence too.  What's your calling?

Happy Loving!

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!!!

Today is one of my favorite holidays.  The world is hopeful, compassionate and excited today.  I love seeing people walk around with flowers, chocolates, everything pink and red!  It's such a cute little holiday.

It really makes me sad when people are bitter or angry towards this day of the year.  I think most of these people are afraid of being alone, honestly.

It's all about perspective.

My daddy has been my Valentine every year since I was old enough to remember.  Some of my favorite stuffed animals were Valentine presents from my father.

As I've gotten older and left home, Dad still gives me valentines of sorts, but I have also had to learn how to celebrate Valentine's Day on my own.  This growing process has brought me some beautiful traditions of my own and taught me how to make God my ultimate Valentine.

Tradition #1: I started this in High School and have carried it with me as I've grown older.  From college classrooms to church events to my job at the bar and a restaurant.  I love to buy cheap little kid Valentine cards, (you know the one's that come 32 in a box for about $4.)  These are cheap and cute and they absolutley make everyone's day.  Last year I handed them out to all sorts of customers and coworkers and watched huge smiles and hugs blossom out of everyone.  Several people told me it was their only Valentine they had received that day.  I love this tradition because it reminds me how simple it is to share a little bit of love.

Tradition #2:  I always have a long quiet time and talk with God.  It seems like he always goes above and beyond in a simple, special, unique way to tell me that he loves me on Valentine's Day.  One year it was in the stars on a walk home, another year it was by speaking through music.  You never know with this guy, he's a big thinker!  I also write him a love note of praise, short and simple.

Tradition #3: Is for my future husband.  Every year on this day I buy him a Valentine's card and write a special message in it just for Him.  I then seal it and put it in my box of letters that I will one day give him as a way of saying, "Finally, my love has come, at last!"  Kind of weird, kind of cute...either way, I think it is neat to say I have always had a Valentine's card for him.

There have also been several years where I go above and beyond decorating my apartment, baking cookies and cakes and invite all of my best girl friends over for a red and pink party full of love!  Those are special times too.  If I had been living on my own I would have done that this year.  I forgot to plan it too though...oops!

Perhaps you are single on this lover's day, but you are definitely not alone.  Look around you and find someone to love.  It may not be romantic love necessarily, but there is always something.  <3