REPOST: Your Desire Will be For Your Husband

On May 25, 2011 I posted this post.  I am reposting it today not only because it is truthful and relevant to every woman's situation, but also because I have written a follow up post for it that I will be publishing Wednesday.  Here you are, enjoy!


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Every woman has a desire deep within to love and be loved by a man.

She also has the desire to be pursued and protected by a man.

However, when fathers and other significant male figures over-dominate or bow out completely, abusing their God-given roles--this is when she seeks love and protection from desperate places.

In Genesis 3:16 God tells Eve what her curse will be for

sinning. He says, "...Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." For this reason it can be said that ALL women have a desire deep down to be loved and pursued by a man. Even the roughest, toughest, and most independent women I know still want the love of a man deep deep down.

Because this is our curse I think it explains lots of things.

1. Our constant craving for romance. No wonder it's a girl thing to watch romance movies, read erotic books, and hope for Prince Charming to come sweep us off our feet. (See more in point 3)
2. Fantasy. Guys may fantasize about sex every point second or so, but girls definitely fantasize about marriage, weddings, and children just as much. Many girls openly admit that the moment he said "I like you," she had already pictured them walking down the aisle, changing her last name, and living in a 2 story house on main street.
3. The heart of little girls. This also helps us understand why little girls are the way they are. While the boys are off shooting guns, saving planet earth, and building bridges (I can explain this type of play later,) the girls are inside dressed in Mommy's old dresses playing tea party, house, or weddings.

As you can see, we were born with this innate desire for our husbands. God gave it to us as a curse for our sin, and it is a struggle we will deal with until we leave this earth. But take heart princess, there is positive to learn from this too!

First of all this should confirm to you that you are not a freak! I know lots of times its easy for us girls to get down on ourselves after a break up or rejection. Think of Jessica Biel in the movie Valentine's Day when she can't even get people to show up to her anti-Valentine's Day party. Often times at this point girls are asking themselves why no one loves them, what's wrong with them, and who needs men anyway? I think Satan uses that to trick us into thinking we are the only single people in the world and that we are the only single people who struggle being single!

This is simply untrue as Gen 3:16 explained previously. ALL women struggle with the desire to love and be loved by a man.

I'm not going to sugarcoat this though--it IS a curse. That is why it is often so painful and uncomfortable for women to be single. We were born with a desire for our husbands. The effects from this range anywhere from eating excessive amounts of chocolate, to depression and bitterness. You are not alone, and yes most people struggle with this, it is in fact, a curse.

So that's all for today, we're all doomed unless we're married. Thanks for reading! :)

Just kidding!! That would obviously be terrible, and I serve a God who has done far to much for us than to make us suffer a life without love forever. If you've been mislead by your desire for love, if you feel incomplete without a man by your side, or if you feel as though marriage is the only escape from the troubles of life--let me tell you, Satan is steeling your joy and there if far greater things available to you in this life.

In John 10:10 Jesus said, "I have come so that they may have life and that they may have it to the FULL!" That doesn't mean he came and died for you so you can lay on the couch feeling miserable for yourself. That means that he came, suffered, died, and rose again so that YOU sister can live an exciting and amazing life found through him!

As I explained in my post Made in His Image, God has amazing and wonderful plans for you--plans that ONLY you can fulfill! He's waiting on you to ask him so that he can show you this full life of love and adventure he has planned for you.

As for love, he's got you covered there too. 1 John 4:8 says GOD IS LOVE. So chase after him, fall hard after him, seek him, and all your wildest dreams will come true. Jeremiah 33:3, Jeremiah 29:11-13, Ephesians 3:19-21 Girls let me tell you, I've tried all the different loves the world has to offer, and NONE of them compare to the love that our God has for us! He made as after all didn't he? Why wouldn't he love us as his children? as his spouse? as his BRIDE? Song of Songs 4:7, 2 Corinthians 11:2, Revelations 19:7-9

Matthew 6:13

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,

and all these things will be given to you as well."

My plea to the guys...

As I sit here praying for the male friends and family in my life my hearts absolutely breaks.  Not just for them, but for the women in their life.  They don't realize that what they do causes years of pain and hurt like nothing else.

Guys: When you date a young woman, you are responsible for her heart.

Because I have many male friends, I know they don't understand this, but I pray oh so hard that they would at least try to understand.  There is no "dating for fun" when it comes to dating women.  What may just be a time filler for you, is oh so much more to her, even if she doesn't say it or show it.

You see, men battle with lust at the same intensity women battle giving their heart away.  Guys say lust is the hardest battle because it's all around them, always tempting them--immodest clothes, sex on tv, porn, and anything else the devil can use.

Women on the other hand, are engaging in just as big of a battle, it's just not as well known yet.  The Genesis 3:16 curse says that women's desire will be for her husband, and Satan of course has turned it into an all out war.  Women are just as surrounded with this desire as men are with lust.  Romance movies, love songs, Facebook statuses, and even other couples.

When you date a girl, she is undoubtedly already thinking about marriage in the back of her head.

I know this is really hard for guys to understand, but I try to explain it in a real way.  Girls can back me up on this.  Okay, let's say you see a cute girl across the room.  She catches your attention, so you smile at her and lock eye contact for a few seconds.  That may have been all you wanted to do.  You may or may not have had any intent of even talking to her, but that's not what went on in her mind.

She's standing there gabbing with her friends about Stacy's new boyfriend and how perfect they are for each other, when suddenly she catches your stare.  As you lock eyes for 3 heart-pounding seconds, her breath increases, her pupils dialate, and a picture flashes in her mind, a picture of you and her holding hands in public together.  Innocent enough right?

Wrong.  As she explains to her friends what just happened, they make the situation worse.  Do you think he likes you?  What if he asks you out?  Do you know what kind of job he has?  All these questions spin through her head as she begins to put you together.  When she goes home that night she tries to reassure herself that it was just a glance, nothing happened...yet.  But then her mind begins to reel as she pictures all the fun times you'll have together, she pictures the hang out spot you two will share, the song you play at your wedding, what color the dress will be, how many months you'll be engaged...and on and on and on.  The madness never stops.  It's a crazy cycle that girls have to train themselves for years to get out of.  

This is where conterfeit bonding, or emotional attachment comes in.  In this scenario, you can see that this young girl has already given you a piece of her heart, and she knows absolutely nothing about you.  I can't even explain how much worse this gets as you begin dating her.

So please, don't date a girl unless you have a strong interest in marrying her someday.

Paul tells us in Romans 14:21 that it is better to not do something if it causes your brother to stumble.  In other words, if dating, texting, or "talking" causes a young woman's thoughts to be consumed with you, or causes her heart to be put out on the line, the godly thing to do is to lay it down at the foot of the throne.  

Guys: Are you playing with a woman's heart?  Is God showing you the depth of the wounds a woman's heart endures?  Is there something you need to change? What and how?

Girls:  Did you even realize you were wired like this?  If so, how have you been guarding your heart lately?  What do you need to do differently?  Have you been letting Satan control your desire for a husband instead of trusting God?

Expect more on guarding your heart soon... 

THE KISS: Designed for His Glory

OPINION PIECE:

Last year I took a class that was heavily drenched in feminism.  This class was blessing in that in motivated me to deeply dig into the scriptures and challenge the biblical views of gender roles.  I was nowhere near a feminist, but I did often question why women were only to be helpers and not leaders, and is it wrong for women to lead in career positions? These were just two of thousands of questions I studied and examined in the bible last year.

After studying the Word of God intensely, and praying for understanding about the gender roles, there is no doubt in my mind that God made men to lead and women to follow.  Men protect, women nurture.  Men want respect, women want love.  Men have a deep longing inside them for adventure and leadership, while women have the desire to be pursued and loved.

I would be more than happy to explain in full why I believe this and what God's word has to say about it, but right now I ask that you just take my word for it as I explain something else.  My professor last semester would deny every reason for men to lead and women to follow, she claimed that the way we do things is just learned social behavior, not nature.  HOWEVER, I would like to make just one of many points just for the sake of it.  

To say our gender roles are not of nature is wrong.  To say the stereotypes of men and women are not the will of God is untrue.  If it is learned behavior we would have to practice it right?  Well let me show you one major point I have noticed lately...The kiss. 

Okay, so don't think this is weird until you hear me out.  But think about every Hollywood movie you've ever seen that has that classic scene when the two main characters realize they DO love each other and they ARE in fact, deeply deeply in love (or so they say.)  Remember what happens?  They stand five inches from each other, lock their gaze into each other's eyes, and boldly exchange dramatic, sometimes cheesy, but always memorable dialogue...and then...THE KISS!

 He grabs her face with his hands, cupping her cheeks, and she throws her arms around his neck and then...she melts.  You know, "The melt."  The part when the woman finally becomes beautiful and vulnerable in the arms of a man.  All of her powerful, independent, and strong facade if laid down, and she becomes an icon of beauty because she is finally at peace with this man leading her.

On the other side, the man is bold, strong, and sturdy.  He does not whimper, step back, or melt--no he is there because he knows exactly what he wants and he is willing to fight for it--better yet, he is fighting for it, for her.  

Think back to your elementary days on the playground.  Most of us definitely remember playing princess, house, tea party, or anything amazing to young girls.  The guys played "wrestle?", football, ninjas, and who knows what else, but does anyone..anyone at all remember being taught how to melt?? 

This is purely and divinely one of the beauties God has created to remind us of his sovereign love and design.  He has absolutely everything  under control.  He knows that a man's finest moment is when he steps up to the plate and actively pursues the woman and children he loves.  He knows that a woman is most beautiful when she is completely at rest--not controlling or planning or analyzing anything.  He knows that she gets this way when a man steps up, and he knows that a man steps up when the woman invites him too.

He knows this because he designed us this way.  His plans are forever, faithful, and unchanging.  He intricately and perfectly designed every aspect of our lives to give him glory one way or another--even when we can't see it!  

Something as small as a dandelion, or as dramatic as a kiss, everything was made to give God glory.  Keep in mind, the reason everything doesn't always glorify Him is because sin entered the world and messed things up a bit.  But when relationships, gender roles, college plans, deaths, major changes, and whatever else happens, and your focus is God, and God alone--He will indeed be glorified as He intended to be.

Next time you see a beautiful Hollywood kiss, let it be a reminder to you that God has a plan and He will work it out.  No matter what you are going through, it will result in his glory in the end. :)

Romans 1:20

"For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities--his eternal power and divine nature--have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse."

Let God be God.  He's got this. ;)