Single Ladies! It's October 2013!

I've been thinking a lot about Divine Dating lately, so here's my "Advice for Single Girls" - October 2013 edition post.  There are many more in the archives..

I don't know if this is typical for everyone, or if it is just my Timeline, but nearly every time I get on Facebook lately all I see is wedding announcements, baby showers and engagements.  I am totally happy for my friends and family who are going through these seasons in their lives.  I can also say I am by no means jealous at this point in my journey--although the same cannot be said for my past.

Anyhow, so today I woke up full of patience, creativity and craving adventure.  I prayed and listened to God for a good 45 minutes..just basking in his wonderfulness.  I thanked him for his awesomeness and how he provides me with wonderful opportunities.  I thanked him because I have never gone without food or shelter or water.  He is my Jehovah-Jireh through and through.

This week particularly He has opened several new doors of opportunity for me, which gives me enthusiasm and excitement for my young life.  I mean, I have so many years of living and loving left to do!

So this was my mindset, and then I paused and decided to check Facebook for baby photos from a close friend.  As I scrolled down the page all I saw were weddings and babies.  I suddenly felt lonely and empty.  But then I stopped and caught myself.

Haley!  How can you say that?  You are graduating in December, you just spent two hours painting, before that you ran, sang, had an amazingly long and uninterrupted quiet time.  Your life is perfect for you right now!

Satan makes it so easy for us to focus on what we don't have, rather than focusing on what we do and turning that into thanksgiving back to the Lord.

So I stopped and counted my blessings.

I also reminded myself how I have stuff that these married and baby people don't.  I can travel.  I can move easily.  I can paint whenever I want.  I only have one schedule to keep up with.

We always think the grass is greener on the other side...

I've heard it said that comparison is the root of all evil.  That may very well be true.  No one is better or better off than you, they are just different.  Your story isn't supreme to someone else's, it's just different.  And yes, everyone has an incredibly amazing story to tell.  In fact, you're writing yours right now!  What's it saying?  What does it say about character and integrity?  Does it reflect God in worship?  Or is your story one of fear and insecurity?  Is that how you want it to end?  When does the climax take place, and why are you waiting around to write it?

I'm reading a book right now about a woman who was bored with her life, so she changed it.  Just like that.   Her story is about courage, living out old dreams, forgiveness and acceptance.  She is learning to accept herself, and that she must do that to find content with her life.

As a single, Christian woman (or male I guess) you have so much room for growth.  God has you in this place and time of your life for a reason.  Allow him complete freedom to do with you what he wants.  Remind him and yourself that that is what pre-marriage and family is for.  It is for building the integrity of the person who will one day be helping that prince with his business and finances.  You are shaping the type of woman who is going to raise wonderful godly children.  Allow God to be God and work on you.

And don't forget, it's not about doing and achieving as much as it is about just being.  Be.  God is more concerned with who you are than what you do.  This is very easy to forget, especially for me.

So get out there and enjoy these years, sister.  They are beautiful!

Lessons from "Honey"

So part of me doing what I do is that I always try to find a positive lesson in everything. Today I slowed down enough to rest and so I watched one of my all-time favorite movies, Honey.  The film was released in 2003 and so it is a bit older, but the message is what makes it timeless.

 Starring Jessica Alba, (another favorite of mine) Honey is about a young girl following her passion and using it to make the world a better place.  She is a dancer in a rough neighborhood who spends her freetime teaching kids how to dance.  She is also trying to make it in the music video world.

Throughout her journey Honey makes friends with some kids who need her mentoring, learns some hard lessons and runs into several pitfalls.  In the end her dreams come true and her small project helps a neighborhood full of youngsters.

I admire the character Honey in this movie because she is so passionate.  She loves to dance and so she does just that, despite what all the antagonists say to remind her that the odds are against her.  I admire her even more because she takes her passion and finds a way to use it to bring good into the world.  That's what life is about right there.  Live your passion and use it to help others, no matter the odds.  

There are 4 lessons we can take away from watching Honey.

1. There will always be haters.  Honey had a big heart and a big dream, and that naturally attracts negative people.  She has several people remind her of how silly her dream is as the story unfolds.  She also is told to give it up and to do something realistic with her time.  Fortunately, Honey is a smart girl and she tries her hardest to only surround herself with really positive people, like her boyfriend and best friend, both of which encourage her constantly. I know it is a movie and no one is 100% encouraging all the time, but there are people who are more positive and uplifting than others.  You know what they say, eagles can't soar if they run with the chickens!  Be careful who you let in your inner circle.
2. There will always be dead-ends and obstacles.  Once Honey lands her dream job of being a choreographer, she experiences creative block.  When she finds her dream dance study for kids, she runs into financial trouble.  When her boss disrespects her she has to find a different way to make money.  Her road was not easy and I'm sure it didn't come easier after the movie ended.  Dreams are never easy.  If they were they wouldn't be worth having.  It's the fight that makes them valuable.  Every dead-end and obstacle brought Honey a new challenge to face and a new appreciation for her worth and desire to succeed.  This brings me to my next point...
3. There will always be hard work.  But it's worth it!  A lot of time, effort and dedication is how Honey found a way to bring her dream of helping others to life.  When she couldn't afford a building for kids, she used her time and talents to organize a fundraiser that would raise the money she needed.  She thought outside the box.  She didn't take no for an answer.  In life, and especially in the Christian walk, you will always have to find a way to what is right.  Remember, Satan wants you to fail!
4. There will always be morality tests.  There is an underlying theme of choosing morality over what is quick and easy.  Every time Honey is tests in ethics she overcomes.  If her boss is going to be a scumbag, she can find a way to work without him, and it is this mindset that left her with no debts to anyone, and a clear conscious that is invaluable.  Two wrongs don't make a right.

I am in a time in my life where I am trying to refine my dreams and passions and decide what I want to focus on.  Honey is a great visual teacher of how hard work, good faith and a lot of hope can get you where you want to be.  Plus, if you have God on your side you are even better. 

That would be my fifth and not-in-the-movie point.  Make sure it lines up with God's will.  Our sermon today was all about this.  If you are working to make your own plans succeed yet haven't stopped to ask God if it is what he wants for you, then you are working against yourself.  With God  all things are possible, not without him.  Check yourself before your wreck yourself.  Pray tremendously and continuously.

Take a second in the near future and right down your dream.

Pray over it and ask God to break it or shape it.

Listen to his answer.

Oh, and, one last closing thought...I noticed for the first time tonight that "Honey" the character was 22 in this film.  Also, Jessica Alba was actually 22 when the film was made.  :) 

And I didn't realize "Honey" and "American Honey" were like..ya know..the sameish...till after I wrote this.  

From A Grandson

What I learned: Legacy.

From the time I was a kid I had always heard about little things my Grandma had done for other people. Most of it included some kind of baking cakes; bread, all sorts of treats.  One thing I specifically remembered was my Grandma teaching adults how to read.  She taught reading as a second language to international folks, and later I learned she even taught adults that just needed help learning to read.

About a year or so ago Grandma was having an episode; it was one of those times we thought she was about to leave us. Our family had split up into shifts to stay with her overnight. Haley, Jodi and I gladly volunteered to stay and we treated it like a big sleepover with our Grandma. We laughed, joked and carried on like we do. There was a moment during that night Grandma was having a tough time and it took all 3 of us to keep her under control. It was one of the first times I remember seeing true fear on my Grandma’s face. 

 She was scared, she was hurting and there really wasn’t much we could do to stop the pain. We managed to get Grandma settled into her bed, still stricken with panic she reached over to her nightstand, picked up a bible and began reading. I looked on with amazement, she wasn’t reaching for a hug from us, or asking for medication, she was reaching for comfort and she knew the only true comfort would come from the words she had lived her entire live by.  After a few moments reading her bible she calmed down and began to rest. 

She had found her comfort.

When this past weekend came it was once again time for our family to divide up into shifts to stay with Mama, Grandma.  Haley, Jodi and I took the Sunday night shift. We decided this night we would treat it like a sleepover again, just like any night we ever stayed with Grandma. We pulled up chairs around her, shared some good memories, and talked about life. 

 I found Grandma’s Bible laying on her night stand and remember the last time we were all staying and Grandma’s.  I thought it would be good to read to Grandma from her Bible. When I picked it up it fell apart into several pieces--it had some miles on it. My thumb happened to grab a page that was entirely appropriate for the moment.  Psalms 6. The chapter talked about a person crying out to the Lord for relief from pain.  The author pleaded to God for rest for their tired bones.   I read it to myself in the moment… I felt the tears in my eyes and I knew I couldn’t read it aloud, I handed the book to Haley and she read it aloud while we all listened. We kissed Grandma Goodnight and she went to sleep.

Over the last year I have found myself at different times lost in my own life. I without thinking went straight to the shelf and grabbed the Bible and turned to a page and just read what I found.  It wasn’t till just a day or so ago I realized without even knowing it; Grandma had passed her legacy to me.  In addition to many others, she had also taught me “how to read”.