Today's guest post is contributed by Angelita Williams, who writes on the topics of online courses. Besides blogging, she loves to travel, listen music and spending time with pets. She welcomes your comments at her email Id: angelita.williams7@gmail.com.
Dating in College: How I Kept My Virginity
Growing up my parents always stressed the importance
of maintaining one's virginity until marriage. It was sinful to do otherwise.
That's not to say that Christians who choose have sexual relationships out of
wedlock won't get into the pearly gates of heaven. I'm just reinitiating why,
since I hit puberty, I planned to keep my virginity intact. Not to mention I
was terrified of pregnancy and STDS.
In high school, even with all of these new
"racing hormones," I managed to successfully keep my promise to
myself and God. But I was never really "tested," if you will—I didn’t
have a boyfriend, so the possibility of getting intimate with someone wasn't
even really a concern. But when I attended my local state college, the
circumstances changed. I was miles away, living unsupervised. I attended
parties frequently where alcohol was always accessible; and I started finally
dating— something that is extremely hard to do in the "hookup"
college culture. While my college years made it a lot harder to keep my
promise, I'm proud to say that I earned my diploma with my virginity still in
place. To learn how I did this, continue reading below.
1.
Have the Talk up Front
I was a late bloomer. I really didn’t grow into my
features until the summer right before my first semester of college, so I was
thoroughly surprised by all of the new attention I got from men on campus.
Since I had only been on a few dates in the past, I accepted most of the
invitations I received. I figured that if a man was brave enough to approach
me, the least I could do was agree to a slice of pizza. But I learned early on
that most college aged men have ulterior motives Simply put, most just wanted
my "cookie." But I had a method for weeding out the toads from the
princes. I'd simply talk about my faith and my choice to wait until marriage
early on in the relationship, it usually came up no later than the second date.
There were three types of men that I encountered after having a conversation
like this: 1) The Runner—He'll say 'that's cool' but then never call back again
(good you don't want to date a person like that anyway). 2) The Pretender—He'll
act like he respects your decision to
wait but really just sees it as a "challenge" (he'll convince you to
give it up late he thinks) and 3) The Understander—he authentically respects
your decision and still wants to continue seeing you. To get a better look at
each type of guy and learn how to deal with them, we move on to the next tip—
Now it's hard to be able to tell The Pretender from
The Understander initially. After all, The Pretender will pretty much make it
seem like everything is cool—but he'll only keep up the act for a while. If you
stand your ground The Pretender will become frustrated and lose interest.
Problem solved. The Understander, on the other hand, may respect your decision,
but he's still human. The two of you may be doing some heavy petting and then
get "caught up in the moment." The easiest way to prevent anything
from "happening" is to learn how to prevent yourself from being in
"tempting" situations that could lead to sex. This means stopping
when things get too hot and heavy, not sleeping in the same bed (especially
with your clothes off or in skimpy lingerie—if wearing "granny
panties" will stop you from stripping, so be it), standing your ground
when he tries to say oral sex is not the same as real sex, or drinking alcohol
around your date since it clouds judgment. Alcohol is also one of the leading
causes for one night stands; how tragic would it be to lose your virginity to
some frat guy you just met? Know your limits.
3.
Keep Yourself Active
Last but not least, you don't ever want to be
"consumed" with the new guy you're dating. Make sure to have your own life and do your
own thing. Stay active. If the two of you are attached to the hip and you
seclude yourself from the rest of your friends, it makes it feel like you're a
married couple and may convince you that "it's time." But don't let
this feeling fool you: you're not actually married. Doing your own thing from
time to time and keeping yourself busy is a beautiful thing and will help you
keep your promise—both academically and religiously.
Keeping your virginity can be a challenge, but if it's
something that is truly important to you, it can be done.
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What do you think about Angelita's post? Can you relate with her struggles and victories? Do you have your own advice you'd like to share? Comment below or email me at divinedating.org@gmail.com.
