Things a Single Girl Has Time For..Part 1

Lucky for me, Fridays are my slower days.  Last Friday I spent 2 hours on campus sitting through meetings, and the rest of the afternoon I have enjoyed with myself.  First, I spent an hour and a half talking to one of my closest sisters in Christ.  We talked about how stressful our week started out, but how glorious God made himself as the week went on.  Almost 2 hours--JUST GLORIFYING GOD!  How awesome!

After that I spent another hour on the phone with a dear sweet girl that I disciple.  She told me of all the things God had been teaching her, and how she is recognizing Satan's attacks against these things.  Another hour spent in worship! :)  How wonderful!

I then worked on some homework for an hour or so, which was really nice to get out of the way for the weekend.  But here comes the best part, after that I spent an hour de-salting a can of Planter's Cashews!  Yes, I sound crazy and pathetic, but oddly enough, no grocery store in my area sells unsalted Cashews, and I like to make my own unsalted mixed nut assortment.  Therefore, I unsalt all my Cashews before mixing them with my other nuts.  Moving on now...

 As I stood silently in my kitchen, carefully wiping the salt off of each individual Cashew, God began to whisper sweet blessings into my ear.  You know, this may sound silly, but one day you are going to wish you had time to sit around and unsalt Cashews.  This is one of the many blessings I have given to you to enjoy during this season of your life.


How true!  Satan attacks single people all the time, but when we really stop and think about what we have, it's actually quite wonderful!  All week God has been refilling my contentment jar with gracious thoughts and a thankful heart.  Why in the world do we complain about not having enough to do, enough people to talk to, or enough money in our wallet?  God is the ultimate provider.  He gives us everything we could ever need--and more!  

This season in your life may be throwing struggles at you left and right, but stop and make a list of what all you have to be grateful for!  Make a list of all the random-awesome things you can do now, that you may not be able to do later on.  You might even come across a can of nuts! 


Here is a list of some ideas to get you started:

• Movie Nights!  I have a close friend who absolutely LOVES movie nights/days.  When given the chance, she curls up in a huge blanket and spends hours watching all sorts of movies that she alone enjoys.  She often talks of the relaxation and refreshment she gets from this activity.  This may not be rocket science, but when you graduate and get married, these opportunities will become less and less.
• Long Walks with God- Another girl friend of mine spends hours in fellowship with God.  She often walks down to a lovely pond with her Bible and a journal, and just talks to him.  Enjoy the sunset, pray for your neighborhood, or get to know the heart of God, all of these things are precious moments that single people have extra time for.
• Learn to cook and clean!  It's biblical, I promise!
• Find awesome new hairstyles on Pinterest- This will definitely come in handy when God's perfect timing is revealed.
• Hang out with people who aren't your age! Look around your church and see who needs a baby sitter, or some extra company.  Both little kids and older people have TONS of wisdom that you can pick up on.  I always have a blast doing this!

Whatever you decide to do, do it with all your heart (Coll 3:23) and do it to the glory of God.  Ephesians 5 tells us to live wisely because the days slip away faster than monkey on  a banana peel (my paraphrase,) so make the most of every season!  God has a purpose in each circumstance (Ecclesiastes.)

3 Lessons from Ruth

We all know her and love her.  She created the definition of "faithful."  She laid down her life for her mother-in-law, and she showed us contentment, obedience, and persistence as she went from married, to single, to remarried.

The book of Ruth has a lot of wisdom packed into just 4 short chapters.  Some of the major themes include faithfulness, kindness, and integrity.  These are all amazing themes, and could be rich studies, but today's post is going to focus on 3 characteristics Ruth showed during her single years.  Since most of my readers are single, I feel like this is an appropriate post.

1. She practiced the definition of "faithful."  When Ruth's first husband died, she had the opportunity to do whatever she wanted.  She was a free woman again!  She could travel all around the world, seeing all the beautiful places, she could buy her own house and decorate it however she wanted, with no one telling her what to do, or she could even become a regular at the local pub--staying out till all hours of the nights without a care in the world.
   
   Ruth had the world at her feet.  She could finally live a life fully focused on her.  But, as fancy as that sounds, she knew that a lifestyle like that would not lead to her ultimate happiness.  Instead, she did the last thing a newly widowed woman would choose to do.  She chose to stick by her mother-in-law and faithfully love and serve her during this time.
   
   Yes, technically Ruth had no responsibility of Naomi anymore, but because Ruth first chose to marry Naomi's son, she had the moral responsibility of choosing Naomi, again.  From this choice we get one of the most used verses in the bible:
   
   
   Ruth 1:16"...Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.  Your people will be my people and your God will be my God."
   If you are currently single, have you been faithful to the things God has presently placed before you?  Perhaps it is helping your parents, discipling a younger girl, or reaching out to a friend.  Luke 16:10 says he who is faithful with little will be faithful with much.  God never gives you more than you can handle.
   
   
2. She didn't dwell in her misery while she waited for Mr. Right to come along.  As single women, we often times use loneliness as a reason to complain, cry, and feel sorry for ourselves.  This is a slap in the face to the God who created us.  As the writer of Ecclesiastes teaches us, God has a plan and purpose for every season of our life.  If has called you to be single for a season, we are to live, laugh, and love in this season of our life.  He's not going to let us move on until we have understood the purpose of the present season.  He is always teaching us something.
   
   Ruth fully understood this.  While she could have just walked up to some of the young farmers, flirting and seducing them till one of them decided to take care of her, Ruth put her faith elsewhere.  She took care of herself and Naomi with what she knew, and let God take care of the rest.
   
   Ruth worked hard and persistently in the fields, picking up leftover grain for her and her mother-in-law to get by on.  She did not call special attention to herself, she did not curse God and turn from him, she took charge and did what she could without disobeying or disrespecting her heavenly father.
   
   
   
   Ruth 2:2
   "And Ruth the Moabitess said to Naomi, 
   'Let me go to the fields and pick up the leftover grain
   behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor."
   
   What can you be doing instead of just waiting?  Oswald Chambers says work, worship, and waiting are meant to be done all at the same time.  HowF can you accomplish this?  Glorify God with this wonderful season of your life!

She did not chase after other men.  Believe me, Ruth was a beautiful woman who knew how to respect a man.  I am sure she could have batted an eyelash in the right direction and easily hooked a man who would provide for her.  But Ruth wasn't that type of gal.  She knew that taking life into her own hands would resort in pain, chaos, and strife.  God had Ruth's best interest in mind, and he promised to give it to her in his own perfect timing.  Rather than fighting God and impatiently chasing what was in front of her, she waited faithfully for what she couldn't yet see because she knew God had a better way.  It was this choice that left her husband grateful and overwhelmed.  For this he and God blessed her.

Ruth 3:10
"The Lord bless you, my daughter," he replied.
'This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier:

You have not run after younger men, whether rich or poor.'"

Are you running after the young men in your life, or are you waiting patiently for the wonderful man God is preparing for you?  Is there a relationship or chase that you need to lay down before God?  Perhaps this is a warning to refocus...

For a more in-depth bible study on Ruth: Check out Lady In Waiting

Guarding Your Mind

As you may already know, this blog points a lot of attention to Proverbs 4:23, "Above all else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."  This verse tells us that our heart is the most sacred of all places we hold inside ourselves.

From this treasured spot flow our thoughts and desires, which then lead to our words and actions.  Our words and actions are what make up our character.  They have the ability to glorify God or commit sin (Mark 7:15, James 3:8-10.)

Matthew 12:34 says, "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks."  and Romans 12:2 tells us to "be transformed by the renewing of our minds" so we can test and approve God's will, and 2 Corinthians 10:5 says we are to "take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ."  These are strong powerful truths that can help us break the bonds Satan has been wrapping around us with his web of lies.

We need to realize that not all of our thoughts come from us.  Many of them come from our sinful nature, a.k.a. Satan.  Paul talks about such spiritual warfare in Romans 7.  Though we are set free in Christ, we often times still struggle with the temptations of the flesh.  Because Satan is the father of lies, he begins tempting us with a lie  (John 8:44.)

These lies are first brought to us through a thought in our head that comes from Satan.  When you catch yourself thinking something that doesn't exactly glorify your maker, it is your choice what to do at that point.

• Option A) You can feed off of this lie and run with it.  Let your imagination carry you wherever it wishes.  Fantasize about that man, dwell on the anger that relative caused you, or build up your frustration so you can let it all out.  Though this is the option we naturally and most commonly take, it rarely ever ends well.
• Option B) You can stop this web of lies immediately by calling out Satan and reminding him that you are a child of God who has been set free from all these childish games (Romans 6:6, Galatians 3:26, 1 Corinthians 13:11.)

As I explained in Preparing for War pt. 2, God gives us all the tools we need to fight against Satan, in Ephesians 6.  Not only that, but Philippians 4:6-7 tells us that if we would only pray to God about anything and everything, our MINDS would be guarded by the peace of God.  Yes, our minds, this means that we can learn to control our actions and words by protecting our minds from believing lies Satan throws at us.  This idea is reinforced by 1 Thessalonians 5:17, Matthew 26:41, and Ephesians 6:18.

The next time you catch a negative thought entering your mind, try praying a prayer that goes something like this,

Father, I know without a doubt that this thought is not from you.  It is negative and sinful and know it is a lie.  Your word says if I pray to you, you will protect my mind from such things.  Please God, take this thought out of my head and help me focus on your Word instead.  Renew my mind so that I may test and approve your will.  In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

THEN, take out your verse of the week and recite it to yourself.  Quoting scripture is always a good way to reinforce the holy thoughts bouncing around in your brain.  Even Jesus used this tactic (Matthew 4.)

It's Not Flesh and Blood

To sum up everything God's been teaching me this week, I think the phrase from Ephesians 6:12 says it perfectly.

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood..."

Again, I am praying that you understand the importance and reality of spiritual warfare.  John 8:44 says Satan is the father of lies.  Every battle starts as a small lie Satan whispers in your ear.  At that moment you have the choice to either confront that lie with prayer and scripture, or believe that lie and entertain the thought.  If you choose the first option, Satan will back off, at least momentarily.  Don't be fooled though, he will be back.

The second option, on the other hand, will lead to a snowball effect.  That small, simple lie will grow and grow and grow until it effects every area of your life, including your relationships with other people.  This is how Satan accomplishes his plan to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10.)

An older girl who discipled me once taught me the acronym HALT.  We become more vulnerable to Satan's attacks when we are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.  I was also taught by a speaker that Laziness leads to Lust.  So go ahead add laziness to that acronym and we will call it HALLT.  Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Lazy, Tired.  Now let's apply that to this week's phrase.

• When you're HUNGRY...the battle is not against flesh and blood.  I know we've all seen the Snicker's commerical where the guy is acting like a diva because he's hungry.  His friends get fed up with him so they hand him a snickers and he is instantly back to himself again.  This commercial is so funny to us because it's true.  We have all been that cranky, snappy person one time or another because we were hungry.  If you don't know what I'm talking about watch a little kid skip snack time.
  
  Anyhow, the point is, your friends aren't your enemies at this point.  Your mom telling you to straighten up is not the problem, and no not even your hunger is the problem.  The problem is satan told you a lie that it's okay for you to be selfish when you don't get what you want instantly, (which happens to be food at this point.)
  
• When you're LONELY...the battle's NOT against flesh and blood.  As I pointed out in my post  Preparing for War, the holiday's always bring about a new set of struggles for singles.  Often times satan uses the lie of singleness as our excuse to snap back at other people, usually a mom or sibling.  We think that it's our friends fault for rubbing it in our face, but in all reality, the struggle's not against flesh and blood.  Rebuke the first negative thought with thankful prayer (Phil 4:6,) and scripture to confront the lie (Eph 6:17.)
  

I could go on explaining the other words from the acronym, but I think you understand my point.  Almost every battle is spiritual, and it can always be traced back to a lie that Satan has placed in our heads.  The lie can come in the form of a thought, a comment from someone else, a song lyric, or something from a movie, just recognize that it comes from an outward source (a thought that is not yours is an outward source.)

Train yourself to catch these thoughts instantly and fight them.  Memorize scripture pertaining to the issues you struggle with, then quote them when tempted.  Pray in the spirit on all occaisions (1 Thess. 5:17.)  Thank God for what you do have when Satan points out what you don't. (1 Thess. 5:18.)  And stand strong warrior!  Our God has already won the big war, so be faithful to fight the small battles in the day to day for the victory of our King.