It's Not Just a Game

One of my brother's teenage friends just came in my room and asked me if a specific pick up line would work on a girl.

"A specific girl, or just any girl," I asked.

"Oh, any girl..." he said with a determination in his voice.

Nice.  I thought to myself.

First I told him the pick up line was completely cheesy and it would never work on me.  Then I thought about it and spoke the truth.

"But...girls are stupid and any girl you send that to will be eating out of your hand in less than 2 seconds."

He grinned and said he knew that would happen and that was the object of his plan anyways.

If you know me, you've heard this rant before.  Regardless, I feel like this is something everyone needs to hear, (mostly because I am an egocentric person probably, but oh well.)


GIRLS:  First of all you are stupid.  Second, it's not your fault you're stupid. Third, you are worth more.  Allow me to explain:
       Point one: I say you are stupid for very true reasons.  I've seen this happen in high school to beautiful popular girls, also in college from the sorority girls right down to the computer nerds, and now I've seen it happen to women in their 40's at night clubs.  The truth is your easy.  You are way way way to easy.  I'm not asking you to put on a front and "play hard to get,"  because that would still be "playing."  I want you to actually be hard to get because you deserve more, and better.  The lower we set the standards for men, the lower the effort they exert.  Example:  All a man has to do to win your affection is show you attention, tell you that you are pretty and ask for your number.  I know you are tempted to argue, but watch your heart, emotions, and actions the next time a guy walks up to you and 1. shows you attention, 2. pays you a compliment, and 3. makes a move forward.  Guarantee you the emotions will fly.  Why?  Because that's the heart of a woman and men (who aren't as stupid as you think) have figured that out and now use that to their advantage.  (See A Woman's Heart.)  This makes you "stupid" to put it bluntly, because you ask for a man to pursue you forever, you ask for a lifelong romance, a real strong man to lead you, a smart man, a steady man, etc.  Yet you fall for the player of players who knows the three tricks that disguise him as something he's not, yet still make your heart fall for him falsely.  (Study Proverbs 4:23.)

       Points two and three:  Why is it not your fault that you are stupid?  Because somewhere down the line, you never had it engraved in your head that you are valuable and worth fighting for.  Does your heart know that?  Yes. Which is why you fall for the compliment, the attention, and the pursuit (value.)  On the other hand, does your brain understand your value? No.  Or else you would see right through this player player and understand that you deserve a lot more than a compliment and an introduction to lure you into a man's presence.  Its up to you to take the journey of figuring out where you first heard this lie, (See What is Identity, and read: Lies Young Women Believe, Captivating, and Strong Women Soft Hearts.)  After you locate the lie, extinguish it with the Word of God.  When you study the Word and God's character, you understand how he designed you and what worth you have to him.  Daily entering into his presence and reminding yourself that can help you overcome the trap Satan throws at you through men.  God and only God can affirm your value.  I have linked a few blog posts to help you get started, but this is really a commitment you must make for yourself personally with the Lord.  (Read: Made in His Image, You're Beautiful, and God's Love For You.)

I close my lecture to the girls by saying this:  Don't give a guy your heart because he took three seconds out of his day to look at you.  The fact is, you aren't the first girl he's laid eyes on, and you won't be the last.  I care about your heart and God does far more than we can even imagine.  It's the most intimate part of you, and it doesn't deserve to be spread around like an epidemic to little boys who don't know the care and love it truly deserves.  "Above all else, guard your heart...for from it everything flows."  That's a pretty big command, but I see it as the most essential in preserving your womanhood.

(To be continued..)

Meeting the Bridesmaids

It is true when they say you don't go to college to meet the groom, you go to meet the bridesmaids!

I'm being totally honest when I say I came to college thinking I would find the groom.  My whole life I was told to wait until college and then I will find the right guy.

After one month here I had looked around and found not even one guy worth a second glance.  Nothing against these guys, they're just not quite my type.  Anyhow, what I did find in bulk was not necessarily bridesmaids, but some of the most awesome, God-fearing women I have ever met in my life.  These girls have honestly made a difference in my walk and continue to this do to encourage me in obediently acting out God's calling for my life.

To fully understand the depth of their love for Jesus, you need to understand something.  I sit and talk to these girls for two or three hours at a time talking about nothing but how awesome and wonderful our God is.  This is why I love these girls.  They have made college worthwhile. 

Jamie Hannan- We decided we are going to write a book for Christian girls together.  Throughout all of last year we were constantly being showed the same things by God.  Stuff about dating, transferring, and finding the perfect ministry "fit," all came into both of our lives around the same time.   This girl is a heart friend.  She gets me, and I get her.  We love on Jesus the whole time we are together, and I absolutely love it!

Kaity Keith- I could talk about this girl and our stories forever!  She has showed me so much about what it means to make the Word of God more than just a book you read in the morning.  Every time I run into her she is camped out somewhere, reading the Bible and learning from it.  She has such a heart for helping other girls and following God’s will—even when she doesn’t know what that is!  I have learned more from here in the past 6 months than I have from some people I have known my whole life.  She often refers to her friends as her “iron,” referencing the proverb “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”  This is an exact description of what her friendship has brought me.

Kim Burns- Oh, she makes me smile.  I’m always up for a good laugh when Kim is around!  She has such a big heart for Jesus it just explodes all around her! Kim is constantly encouraging me with my blog and my venture for figuring out relationships.  I cannot tell you how much that has meant to me along the way.   And the best part is that she doesn’t even know that she is loving me to the Nth degree every time she casually mentions what makes me special.  As if weren’t enough, she also gives the biggest and bestest—longest hugs in the entire universe!  She has shown me what it means to love people through every little action.

Then I have my two best friends who love me in an entirely different way.  These girls have seen me in a variety of situations.  They know me as a serious student, a leader in activities, a hyper spaz, a country bumpkin, and everything in between!  The best part is—they still love me!  (This is a far greater responsibility than most people realize.)

Lacey Stevenson- Although our spiritual views don’t line up exactly, I have more respect for her than almost anyone else I’ve ever met.  She is the most kind, caring, and willing to listen person I know.  As soon as we sit down together she instantly asks about my classes, my other friends, and my family.  She never ever thinks of herself, but always is quick to love others by listening to them.  I thank her for letting me babble on end about how hard my petty classes are, even when I know they are a piece of cake in comparison to her Political Science studies!  Lacey and I have so much in common it is scary.  It is scary because we met on this campus, a campus full of people not like us, and I know that it is a miracle from God that we met!

Dakota Poulton- Another God story about friendship.  One of my biggest dreams in this life is for my friends back home to become best friends with my friends up here.  Anyone who knows me probably gets tired of me because I am constantly trying to merge the two friend groups.  I want everyone to know and love everyone as I have seen them love me!  Dakota has played such an important role in my life because she is always ready to meet more friends from back home and take them out dancing with us!  She is full of fun, excitement, and motivation.  I love our one day shopping sprees and random study sessions.  She has a special place in my heart.


And then there are my sheep, whom I love and call my friends as well, and yet our relationships is entirely different again.

Kaley Patterson- We have known each other throughout high school, but now that she is finally in college too I feel like our relationship has plunged to a new level.  Even though we go to different colleges, I feel like she is constantly looking out for me and challenging me in my personal quiet times with the Lord.  As a girl with extraordinary gifts, I am constantly excited to hear her talk about what God is showing her.  I know without doubt that he will use her for amazing things as she walks through the journey of college and life.  Our friendship goes beyond the surface and stays imprinted on my heart no matter where we are. 

Alexis Briggs- Through Kaley I have met this very dear friend.  Even as I write this I am speechless.  Alexis has this idea that God has used me to bless her immensely, ironically, she doesn’t know how much God has used her to bless me and my life.  Talk about encouraging and motivating, this girl has given me more humility and faith in my blog and calling to teach relationships than anyone I’ve ever met.  She has pushed and promoted my blog to the ends of the earth and back—something I never imagined in my wildest dreams.  On top of that she is so straight forward with her walk.  She wants scripture, not opinion, and everything not of God is a waste of time.  I pray for that kind of heart!

I wrote this in October of 2011, but just now decided to post it.  I don't know why.

Girls: enjoy the company of the bridesmaids while you can.  I wouldn't have a wedding without 'em!