Showing posts with label date. Show all posts
Showing posts with label date. Show all posts

Thursday, August 18, 2011

"Should I tell my boyfriend everything??"


Its funny how often times we try to run from God…and it never works out.   
About a month ago I had decided to read about Samson and Delilah; I began the story and then went off to camp and forgot to finish it.  Well today in my quiet time I was asking God about a completely different topic and of course, he led me to Samson and Delilah.  He has the best sense of humor sometimes…Anyhow, what I learned in Judges 16 turned out to be very valuable and so I thought I would share it with you all. 

If you go back to Judges 15, you can understand a little bit more about Samson’s character—for time’s sake I will give you a brief summary.  In my opinion, I picture Samson as being that tough guy-popular-jock-man from high school.  He is super buff, very liked by the people, and he wins every election or award.  Now, this isn’t the super hero star athlete, this is the cocky/bully stud that walks around thinking he owns the school.  Everyone loves him because their scared of him!

In fact, after Samson won a battle he bragged about his victory and demanded God reward him with water!  Wow…yeah, he’s that guy.  As the story goes, we know that that guy always gets the girls, and whoever they want mind you, therefore bring in Delilah.

Delilah was gorgeous, mysterious, and to be honest—a tad bit manipulative.  Anyhow, she got Samson to fall head over heels in love with her.  After they had been, umm.. we’ll say dating,  for some time, Delilah was offered big bucks to find Samson’s weak spot.  So she did what women after the fall do best; she nagged and manipulated.

“What’s your weakness darling?”  She asks him one night.
He  quickly come up with a lie and tricked her into believing it.  Then while he was sleeping, she tried to capture him, using what he had told her.  However, because it was a lie it didn’t work.  

“No really babe, what’s your soft spot?”
He lied again.  She tested it and was made a fool again.

Finally after begging him and begging him until he was “Tired to death,” as the bible literally says, she says, “Samson, if you really love me you’ll tell me your weakness.” 
Ahhh…the killer line!  How many times does that line come up through the teenage years!  We all know what happens next..

Judges 16:17  (NASB)
“So he told her all that was in his heart…”

Worst mistake he ever made. 
I have had girls ask me many times, “Should I tell my boyfriend everything about my spiritual life?” thinking that that will bring them closer together…but the answer is NO.

There are certain things a woman must keep secret in her heart.  1 Kings 8:39 says only God knows our hearts.  Other people can only know what we tell and express to them..they will never fully understand our hearts—not even our husbands. 

Also, Micah 7:5-7 tells us not to put our hope and trust in friends, family, spouses, or neighbors—but to trust fully in God and eagerly expect him to deliver us from whatever our present troubles may be.  Too often we run to our husbands for assurance that this job situation will work out, or we beg with our boyfriend to marry us so we can have some type of security in our life.  But the truth is these men aren’t God!  They’re just human like you and I.  They will mess up, they will scare us, and they will let us down.

You’ll save yourself a lot of grief and heartache if you put your whole trust in God and God alone, then no matter what change is thrown your way—you know without a doubt that the God of all gods is holding you tightly in his hands, and not only that, but he understands your heart.  He gets the very core of your being and existence, and he wants to help you every step of the way.  He wants to love you into security and joy and life. 
Stop telling every man you get into a relationship with your heart secrets.   
Those are for you and God to treasure together. 

Further reading:
Judges 16
Psalm 146:3
Psalm 145:16
Living Chocolate 

Monday, January 31, 2011

Emotions and Dating

When it comes to dating, emotions are the biggest thing that cause conflict, drama, and pain. If we can learn to control our emotions instead of letting them control us, we will see victory in our relationships. Here is an easy acronym to remember about this.

Recognize your emotion
Express it to GOD
Evaluate your emotions in line with God's word
Decide to agree with God

When it comes to emotions and dating, you should lean back not forward. As girls we get overly involved and attached with a guy way to early. We have to learn to 1) let the guy lead in the depth of the relationship and 2) be fully functional and content being single.
Fantacizing about guys sets you up for heartache. Don't do it.
Pray for God to guard your heart. Proverbs 4:23
1 Corinthians 7:34-focus on what God wants for you
Galations 1:10-Examine yourself, are you trying to please men or God?

You always marry somebody you date.
So think about who you're dating!

A man will never meet all your needs. Only God can totally fulfill you.
Check out some Godly characteristics for men you should look for- 2 Corinthians 6:14-16

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Quote2

"The only thing scarier than being alone, is marrying the wrong person."

Are you willing to date someone who is not good for you and risk marrying the wrong person simply because you are lonely right now?

Monday, January 10, 2011

Part 3: When You Date

Part 3

When You Date

- “Dating” or “Talking”

o Boundaries

§ Know ahead of time and write them down!!

· Ex: I won’t kiss a guy I’m not dating, never hang out alone-temptation, no-no square rules

§ Early on let him know your boundaries

· I will not go any further than holding hands.

§ Pray for strength

§ Group dating makes keeping these boundaries a LOT easier!

o Accountability

§ Have a mentor, or close Christian friend that will help keep you accountable.

o Stick to your standards

§ If he turns out to be anything less, move on before either of you gets emotionally attached. Unless of course you enjoy getting hurt.

§ Pray for God’s guidance and wisdom.

· Isaiah 11:2 -pray this for wisdom

- Being in a relationship

o Let God lead

§ Pray continuously!! 1 Thessalonians 5:17

§ Stay in the word. Do your quiet times consistently.

§ Stay in his will—HE is the center of your life, not your man!!!

o Let him lead

§ Spiritually- you should know this before you agree to go out with him.

§ Emotionally- HE HAS TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE.

· To ask you out, to say he likes you, etc.

§ Girls DO NOT CHASE!!

· We weren’t made for it.

· They value stuff they chase more.

· We actually want to be chased.

o Princess/knight, attention, etc.

· It’s a turn off to most guys.

o Priorities

§ Faith

§ Family

§ Friends

All of the above were here first. You need both, not just him.

Don’t lose your friends/family/faith over a guy, because when you lose the guy you will have nothing.

§ Guys

Friday, January 7, 2011

Quote

“People date because they want to enjoy the emotional and even physical benefits of intimacy without the responsibility of real commitment.”

–Josh Harris in “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”

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