Dwell.

Psalm 37:3 says this, "Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture."

Dwell means to remain for a time, or to live as a resident.  Pulpit Commentary puts it this way: "Remain where thou art, and be satisfied with the thought of God's faithfulness. Feed on this."

That is a very powerful message if you think about it.  Remain where thou art and be satisfied with the thought of God's faithfulness...

It makes me think about a lot of things, a lot of things that our society does are backwards compared to how they did them in Jesus' day.  Even though they are backwards it is hard to say if they are wrong or not.  Most explain, "That's just the way things are now." Which is a simple excuse, but you have to wonder what the heart of God wants.

Think about this, "Remain where you are."  People used to stake their claim and live on the same plot of land, in the same house, all the years of their life.  My grandparents grew up 8 miles apart, and they now reside in the house my grandfather grew up in.  They have lived there all but maybe 3-4 years of their married life together.

My parents also have lived in the same house for 23-24 years.  That is unheard of in today's society.  The only reason my family has been so permanent in location is because we are "tied to the land."  My daddy is a farmer and he can't exactly relocate his profession.

I remember one day in one of my college classes.  My teacher was speaking about this very thing.  She was explaining that we are now a mobile society.  Everyone moves quite a bit now.  The Internet, automobiles and airplanes have made all this moving extremely easy to do.  To prove her point, she asked our class of 40 to raise their hands if we had lived in the same town our whole life.  There were about 10 hands that went up.  She told us to keep them up if we had lived in the same house our whole life.  This left three hands up.  She explained this was rare and the numbers were only this high because we lived in the Bible belt and the Bible belt is always the last to adopt new ideas.  Furthering her point, she asked us to raise our hands if our parents were from the town we grew up in.  My hand stayed up.  Her frustration rose.

"Well your grandparents certainly aren't from the same town are they?"  she half asking, half assumingly stated to me.

I grinned from ear to ear and said, "Actually, both of my grandparents on both sides spent most of their lives within 40 miles of where I grew up."  

I don't have to explain to you that college professors don't like to be wrong.  This one in particular happened to be a  real know-it-all.  She studied my face for a minute, ignoring the giggles around the room, and quickly decided to change the topic and move forward in her lecture.

"Remain where you are..."

So is it bad to move off and around and up and down and back?  I don't see why it would be, but back in the day they never did.  I understand my situation is unique, because the majority of people today are movers.  Perhaps I am taking this passage out of the Bible way to literal.  Maybe he is only suggesting we enjoy where we are while we are there.  Contentness.

One other thing I'd like to mention though.  I noticed many of my friends got an anxious kick in them around our junior year of college, including myself.  It was odd, it was as though a fairy had came around and hit all of us with the same pixie dust.  We seemed to wake up one morning and sickly desire a home.  Not mommy and daddy's home, but a home of our own.  We each so desperately wanted a permanent place to call ours.  We wanted a place we could stay and not have to move out each summer.  We wanted a dwelling we could decorate and cook in.  We wanted a space to care for and enjoy.

I remember many coffee-talks about this subject with a plethora of different girlfriends.  How strange it was that we independent, go-getter, dream-makers all suddenly wanted a place to be permanent with--and at the ripe old age of 20, maybe 21.

I think this goes back to the way we are programed.  I believe that God designed us to marry young.  They did it for centuries!  I mean look at the psyche of high school kids.  At about age 18 they start thinking marriage, but why?  Who puts this thought in their heads?  I don't believe it's put there, I believe it happens, and yes some country kids may act on this idea, but most of today's kids are ashamed of this desire.  They are ashamed because society tells them they are better than marriage.  They have to get a degree and a good job and prove themselves in the world.  Then and only then can they start thinking of marriage.

Perhaps this is a good thing because we have more time to find ourselves and grow up, but then again maybe it is wrong because it makes purity an impossible pedestal.

It's interesting really.  We teach our Christians to remain soft and pure and holy until they are safely married.  Unfortunately, they are to remain this way during the most active times of their lives when their bodies are most ready to reproduce and latch on to something permanent beyond mom and pop.

I'm not blaming anybody or saying our teachings are wrong, I'm just saying, it looks to me like today's society has it backwards.  Our bodies aren't meant to reproduce in their 30s and 40s like people in my generation are doing.  Yet with school and work becoming a priority we have to.

I guess as a 20-something I am saying that I would love to dwell on the land permanently.  I like the security of having one house in one location long-term.

On the other hand I get restless with the thought of settling down already.  There is so much of the world I still need to see.  I want to travel and live in at least one other state before I settle down for good.  Plus, I'm single--there's nothing holding me back.  Now is the time for me to go live a gypsy life before I really have to stay in one location for a family and husband.

Either way, the point of this lesson is to remain in the land for a time.  Right now my dwelling is here, so I will make it a point to dwell in this land and enjoy God's faithfulness.

Roll Call

"You may say I'm a dreamer
but I'm not the only one

I hope someday you will join us

and the world will be as one"

--Imagine, John Lennon

The past month of my life has been full of changes and excitement.  My first big job, moving back home, re-introducing myself to each of the 3,862 citizens in this town...  It's all very energizing, yet I find my imagination on the loose.  

I have a paycheck now, so I dream about things.  Things like a house, another degree, fondue sets, and other random things.  I also dream about the future.  Where will I be in 10 years?  Where will I be in 5?  What are my goals and what do I need to be doing now in order to reach them?  Will I live here forever?  Will I still get to move off somewhere and live a freestyle life?  Am I going to always do PR, or will I one day be a full time artist and author?

As you can see, my mind quickly overwhelms itself.  I have spent a lot of time meditating on these questions and things.  While I definitely think it is important to have goals and tentative plans (keeping in mind God has the ultimate plans already written out), it is also equally important to live for the moment and enjoy what is in front of you.

That is the message I have received lately.  

While I have most certainly been enjoying my new career and my time living at home with Mom and Pop, there are parts where I am daydreaming and fantasizing too much.  When I wrote more about dating I used to always caution of the dangers of fantasizing.  Usually I spoke in regards to dating, getting married or sexual intimacy.  While the focus of the fantasy is quite different in this situation, the discipline is rather similar.

It all rolls back around to contentment.  Being content with where you are and what you have.  Philippians 4:12 never gets hammered in my brain quite far enough.  It doesn't help that the world around you is screaming "Buy this! Buy that!  Move here and see those!"

Again, goals and rewards and plans are excellent.  Just don't put them above the present.

Before I moved back I dreamed of moving here.  I couldn't wait to be close to my family.  I wanted to learn more about the farm with my Dad and more about gardening with my Grandpa.  I just knew it would be perfect.

Well my circumstances are different than I had dreamed because I have a full time job, however it's up to me to make that dream a reality before it passes and the next dream gets in the way.

I always have to go back to the wonderful Lady A lyrics, "Get caught in the race of this crazy life, tryin' to be everything will make you lose your mind." (American Honey)

I need God to constantly take me to those still and quiet waters and remind me that it's okay to rest, and it's okay to be still.  Resting in the moment is a beautiful thing.  Perhaps one day I will master it as my grandparents have.   They are so pleasant to be around because they never hurry.  They like long, slow, meaningful conversations, and they have a world of wisdom to be found inside each chat.

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;

do not fret when men succeed in their ways,

when they carry out their wicked schemes."

--Psalm 37:7

When you're young and independent and growing and learning as fast as your brain can keep up, it's easy to forget about what's important.  I suggest that your early 20's are meant for just that; finding a balance among all trails you walk upon.

Sometimes we need to let go and sometimes we need to pick up; stand back or jump in.  Listen to the stillness of the Lord and let the wisdom of the holy spirit be your guide.

We're going to be okay.  It's only a decade of learning.  :) 

How Taylor Swift Inspired Me

Yesterday morning I watched the E! True Hollywood Story about Taylor Swift.  The show interviewed her and her family, friends and coworkers.  It documented her success and story from birth till now.  For one thing, I found the documentary interesting because I have watched Taylor Swift's success explode during the past few years of my lifetime.  For another thing, she is only a year older than me and that puts things in a real-life perspective for me.  But the most wonderful part about the show was that it inspired me.

 Taylor Swift's story inspired me in the deep parts of my soul that need to constantly be inspired in order to gravitate toward the level of success they were meant to be a part of.  You see, Swift's success didn't happen over night like we sometimes like to think.  Her story shared the parts of her childhood that were purposely arranged for such a moment as this.

From a young age Swift new she wanted to write music.  She played and sang and wrote all during her childhood.

By age eleven or so she had determined this as her biggest dream, so she took steps towards following that dream.  When she realized how much harder she needed to work to get to her goal, she did.  She worked extremely hard every day, and still does.  Classes, lessons, practice and lots of hours are how she got to where she is today.  It was not chance, luck or circumstance.  It was hard work, inspiration and purpose.

I believe strongly that Taylor Swift is exactly where she needs to be.  God gave her the ability to communicate and heal people through her song writing.  I think that is beautiful.  Much like Swift, we too have purposes that we were created for and that we need to be working our tail off for.

For me, it's writing and painting.  From the earliest of ages I can remember claiming that I wanted to be "an artist and an author" when I grew up.  In third grade a won a state-wide writing contest and I always won county fair awards for my artwork.  These were neat and all, but then I got distracted in middle school.  Friends, sports and everything in between became my focus for a few years.  I don't regret those years though, I learned a lot.

In high school it was all about finishing the race first.  I studied hard, took all my required classes and worked my hardest to win track medals, golf medals and cheerleading honors, and I did.  By my senior year I had taken all of my required classes except my two art requirements.  How silly, I though.  Art was were my passion was, yet I had hardly slowed down long enough to take a single art class during my high school education.  I took beginning art and choir that year.  Those two classes quickly became two of my favorite classes in high school.

In junior college I wanted to major in Art, but I was told there was no future or money in it.  While this redirected my focus, it was also very practical advice that led me to where I am today.  Regardless, I majored in Liberal Arts and took as many art-related classes as I could, which included Painting I and II.  These were the classes that fueled my fire.  I learned how to use oil paints and fell in love with the process and technique of such.

From there I went to a university and got back on the rat race track.  All the while I painted at home in my apartment whenever I could find free time.  There were many times when I would have to purposely mark off a full Saturday in my calendar just so I could have painting and writing time.  I loved school, but I needed a break.  God pointed out that I was running the race and going nowhere fast.  He reminded me strongly that I was built to write and paint and that it was okay if that was what I truly desired.

I took a year off from school.  I wrote a short book and painted dozens of pictures.  People began to know me as an artist.  I sold lots of paintings to people who knew me.  I even created a huge sign for a local business that sold for a lot of money.  I was so excited to know that people believed in me.  I was even more excited to believe in myself.  I studied art and art schools all summer and when I finally went back to finish my last semester of college, I told myself I would go back on one condition.  I was going to take some kind of art class while I was there.

So I did.  By default I landed in "Intermediate Painting Process."  I was supposed to have a bunch of foundation classes before I could enroll in this one, but luckily God found some way to get me in.  I enjoyed this class greatly.  Working with other students on a collegiate level brought me great confidence in my work.  I made close friends especially with one girl in our class.  Her and I talked about plans after college and how to take our art journey into the world of post-grad.

Also during that semester I had a lot of time to continue researching and reading.  I bought books and studied the art business process.

I graduated in December and now I have begun a real job.  I am writing, reading, painting and studying as much as I can in my free time.  While I love my job and am learning a ton being there, I still know my deeper purpose is writing and painting.

Last night I wrote out my goals again.  I wrote out my 5 and 10 year goals and the leaps I would take this year to get there.  Everything seems big, until you break it down into pieces.  The pieces are scary until you make a move and realize it isn't.  Fear is invisible and hope is powerful.  Prayer and petition will keep God on your side and there is nothing you can do without him.

A few minutes ago I was asked to speak at a local civic club about my art.  I almost got nauseous at the thought of speaking publicly about my art.  While this scares me deeply for some reason, I know it is something I must do to strengthen my skills and my stance as an artist.  Plus, if I can share what makes me smile with other people, maybe they will find their confidence too.  What's your calling?