2014: An Adventurous Year!

Thought Christmas Letters can be cheesy, it is definitely a good way as the writer to reflect upon the blessings of the year.  So this blog post, to an extent, is my personal Christmas Letter to my readers and to myself.

As another year comes to an end, I am reminded to look back at how far I've come in the past twelve months.  This time last year I was getting ready to graduate college and spread my wings into the post-education world for good.  I was juggling several different ideas like working on a ski lift in Taos, applying for a PR job in Fayetteville or moving to Altus again to continue waitressing.  While the vastness of the opportunities was exciting, it was also somewhat overwhelming.  In the meantime I graduated and moved back home to figure it out, only to find myself still jobless in January.  A good friend of the family was the new president for the Chamber of Commerce in my hometown.  She asked me three different times to take the job of Executive Director.  On the final time, when I realized I needed to work and not live with my parents forever, I said yes.  Parts of me were scared to death.  I was afraid I was giving away my freedom, and that I would live in this town forever.  Other parts of me were excited, but afraid I wouldn't be trained and qualified enough for the position.

Despite the fear and doubts I can honestly look back and say I'm glad I took the job.  No it wasn't what I had planned for myself at this stage in my life, but my life has been--if anything--more exciting because of it.

I have learned so much in all areas of my life.  I have worked with lots of different types of people and committees.  I have organized several large events, and even created a new one.  I've become more organized and learned the appreciation of files and folders.  I have enjoyed the consistency of routine and learned to make the most of my downtime.

Math has forever been my enemy, yet I have day by day found myself handling large amounts of money, depositing them and keeping books on a dozen different accounts.  Who would have ever thought I'd be capable of such?  I have actually became quite comfortable with numbers this year.  Although writing will always be my true love.  Having a weekly column for the paper has been fun and interesting, and though I am writing emails, newsletters, and press releases all day long at work, the activities haven't taken away from my writing passion at home.  In fact, I have grown a lot as a writer this year.  I am working on two lengthier stories now (which is a first), one is even a fiction (another first.)  I have also been documenting a lot more of my life story, and somewhat kept up with my blog.

I started the year with goals to grow as a painter too.  That has happened as well.  I was involved in an Art Walk in Norman in January, followed by an Art/Craft show in Choctaw in March, and I participated as an artist in Arts 'N Action in September in Frederick.  I also spent a week in Eureka Springs over the July 4th holiday taking a painting class with Barbara Robinson, which was extremely helpful and inspiring.  I've sold prints and paintings to many people, some even through Etsy.  Though Etsy was fun for a while, I have laid off of it momentarily, seeing the expenses outweigh the benefits.  Perhaps after some establishment I will bring it back.

On the travel side I spent a weekend in March in Santa Fe, New Mexico.  I went skiing with a group of friends and enjoyed some delicious Jamaican and Brazilian food while down there.  The following weekend I spent in Lubbock, Texas where I finally got to see one of my favorite artist's studio (Baron Batch.)  I went with Jessica Carr and my mom and we got to see Mom's old friends and tour the Texas Tech stadium as well.

In May Amber and I went to Edmond and had a blast.  And in June I went with my mom and Aunt Denice and Uncle Tommy to Indianapolis for my cousin Maggie's wedding.  July was my first travel experience alone.  I spent 5 days in Eureka Springs by myself and had an absolute blast.  In August Amber and I went to Norman/Midwest City for her birthday and had oh so much fun.  In September I went to Tulsa for an Air Force ball with my friend Carlos.  That was a great experience. I got to wear an old prom dress!  In October I went to Norman and then Jodi and Jacob and I visited Grant in Stillwater. In November, I returned to Eureka with Miranda and had just as much fun, if not more!  Later in November I took my second trip alone and got to visit the wonderful Palo Duro Canyon in Canyon, Texas.  I stayed at a historic Bed and Breakfast and got an amazing massage by a local therapist.

At another point this summer our family took a mini-vacation to Bricktown, OKC and had a lot of fun.  Grant and I kayaked on the river.  We all dined at Kevin Durant's restaurant and took the river boat cruise which has changed drastically since we took it in the 90s right before the big renovations.

Other fun experiences included:

• Experiencing a Lavender farm in Apache for a tourism meeting
• Goose Knocking at Hackberry Flat Day
• Shooting a WWII style gun at Open Hangar Day
• Cadillacin' on Rock 'N Rumble weekend in Altus
• Learning to play the guitar
• Dressing up at Stevie Nicks for an Arts Council Event
• Great concerts: Casey Donahue, Kings of Leon, Slipknot and Fleetwood Mac!
• Jammed out with Altus friends + my parents and Uncle Ray, Aunt Cheryl, Grant and Hunter at Mayor's Blues Ball at Medicine Park
• I took a Mosaic class with Jenny Perry in Frederick
• I played more golf this Spring/Summer than I have since college golf
• Organized and Celebrated my 5 year High School Reunion
• Got to see a tribute to Elvis Presley and others, though Elvis was my favorite
• Dressed up as Ginger Spice with a group of other Spice Girls for Halloween
• Went to two OU games and a half (tailgated but didn't stay for the game.)
• Consistently joined a Yoga class in town
• Completed a Spring Boot Camp program with Downtown Fitness
• Successfully planted and harvested my first garden!

Not so fortunate, but big events include:

• Breaking my nose in a skateboarding accident
• Hitting a Deer with my car
• Running over a Tire with my Car
• Got my own car insurance (consequence of the former of course)

Regarding others in my life:

• I got to watch my mother perform in a play
• One of my best friends studied abroad in Spain
• Another good friend came home safely from Afghanistan
• I made a friend from Hawaii and learned a lot
• Out of my two best friends from childhood, one had a baby and one got engaged
• We moved Grandma and Grandpa to Assisted Living
• Moved my brother to OSU!

All this and I still got to work at Tom's a few weekends here and there, and of course there were many, many weekends spent in Altus with those beloved friends as well!  I also got to experience a weekend of catering with Amber and Julie Oxford (turns out I hate it and it was nothing like waitressing.)  I also joined the local Rotary Club and the Arts and Humanities Council, both of which have been absolutely amazing!

Overall, I would say this has been one of my most fantastic years.  I've learned and grown a lot spiritually, physically and professionally.  I am so thankful for this year of my life and I am praying next year is just as amazing.  Thanks to all of the wonderful people who have helped make this year wonderful!

"3 Feet"

Adventure in the heart
adrenaline pumping veins
fill up your soul
or function through the plains

Ocean waves surround her now
Sun shines freely
shake it all off
become who you see in the distance

Pray for your soul, darling
Pray for your soul.
See that if finds it's route
Don't let it hydroplane.
Life has to be lived.

The air beneath your wings
nothing stops a sailor.
Keep on fishing
don't drop anchor.
Carry on through the deep
carry on through the depths
Rise again to see the beauty of it all.

Pray for your soul, darling
Pray for your soul.
See that if finds it's route
Don't let it hydroplane.
Life has to be loved.

The lights are behind you now.
The chains are gone.
Let your skin release
and find your home.

No metal
no more
no high buzz
sit and see
what all it was

Pray for your soul, darling
Pray for your soul.
See that if finds it's route
Don't let it hydroplane.
Life has to be lived.
Life has to be loved.

Transportation: Alone

Yesterday was a day of victory for me.  I did something I have never done before but always wanted to do.  I began my vacation by myself.  I traveled 6 hours in a car with just me.  Well, technically it was just me, but I also had my navigator (GPS), my soul singer, (Stevie Nicks), and my guardian (God.)

When I woke up yesterday morning my first emotion was fear, then a smidgen of anger and an ounce of hurt.  Why didn't anyone want to have fun with me?  Immediately I sat up in bed and prayed it over.  I prayed that God would use this trip as a much needed spiritual journey.  I reminded myself that I am strong and whole and comfortable with just me.  I need no one else to have a good time.

After that I was back to being overly excited.  I got up and tended my garden in the sunrise, which was absolutely beautiful.  Peace filled my lungs as I (for the first time) patiently and tenderly cared for each of my little plant babies.  Actually they aren't babies anymore, they are probably, oh I don't know, preteens.  And by the way, I would like to say that I don't hate gardening like I thought I did.  I'm just lazier than I thought.

After getting the garden ready for my absence, I went home, showered and got ready for a big day at work.  All morning I finished the final preparations for the office and sitter.  At noon we had a big meeting and I spent the afternoon catching up on what the meeting's outcome had assigned me.

By mid-afternoon I was ready to go!  I packed up my mom's very large SUV, changed into some jeans and flip-flops and out the door I went.

The first 45 minutes all I did was listen to worship music.  By the time I hit Lawton I was so refreshed I felt like I had already been on vacation.

So much of my inward stress seems to spring from not having enough alone time.  I have known this since January, but I have yet to find a solution.  In a small town where no one can hide, it's hard to find a quiet cubby to exhale in.  Oh how despartely I need those sweet moments of solitude though.  This is one reason I had looked forward to traveling alone.

From Lawton to Tulsa I let Pandora pick the tunes.  Shuffled stations of Tom Waits, Keller Williams, Janis Joplin, Jesus Culture and David Allen Coe left me with a wide variety of entertainment.  I sang and giggled and rocked out all by myself, which somehow made it more fun.

About the time I got to Tulsa my eyes started driving me nuts, as they often do.  Pain and dryness set in and I feared I would have to pull over and rest my eyes, though I didn't want to because it was going to be a late arrival as it was.

Pinching and rubbing my lids, I carried on and toughed through.  I made it to the Arkansas state line before my first stop.  Of course my first action was a stateline-selfie.  Because why not?  Then I stopped at McDonalds and ordered a dollar chicken sandwich and an Oreo McFlurry because the last 10 miles all I could think about was ice cream.  I ate my delicious and nutritious meal at a table by myself and smiled at how pleasing it was.  I LOVE people watching.  There was two people who sat near me, working on their laptops and taking notes on pen and paper.  I wondered if there was a college nearby or if they were maybe doing a Bible Study.

After Mickey D's I drove across the street to the Family Dollar where I picked up a simple breakfast for the week and some trail mix for snacks after class.

By this time it was around 7:30, which was exactly on schedule, but since I was staying at a Mom and Pop I thought it a good idea to call my host and up date him on my late arrival.  Much to my surprise he said a 9:30 arrival was fine.  He informed me of my cottage number and said he'd turn on the air conditioner and leave the key on the coffee table.

After one more quick stop for fuel, I was back on my way!  This time Kid Rock sang to me until I reached Springdale.

This is the part that brings me pride.  If you know me at all, you are probably aware of the fact that I am directionally retarded.  I can't find my away out of a shoe box.  My GPS is my best friend and I do not even mention some of the familiar locations that call for my dependence on this gadget.

But at that moment in my trip, I was about an hour and a half out and my poor, stupid phone could not keep up.  I had plugged it in to charge since the beginning of my trip, but between the GPS, Pandora and roaming, my battery was actually still uncharging itself.  So I did what any intelligent person would do, yet I was surprised at my thought process--I wrote out the directions for the rest of my trip and turned off my phone.  An ornery grin filled my face as I realized there was a very good chance I would get lost and yet it was sort of a fun game to try and test myself.

I have made this trip a couple times in the past few years and for some unknown reason it seems to stick in my brain.  I have a sense for this trail, yet I can't seem to find my way to the nearest town from where I grew up!

So now the fun began.  I actually had to read the road signs I was following.  (Brilliant, I know.)  Turn by turn I followed HWY 412 to 42E and then 23N.

On a poorly marked side road (that I did not miss, by the way) I saw my turn that looked like it led into a nursery rhyme about over the river and into the woods.  I made my turn and what I saw made my heart jump.  Eureka Springs: 28 Miles.

Alas!  I was on the home stretch!  I sent a quick Snapchat to my friends and family and proceeded on with Fleetwood Mac's Greatest Hits playing.  I had also rolled down my windows at this point and was thoroughly enjoying the Arkansas air.  It smells so different than Oklahoma air.  It's moist and earthy and has hints of pine and other trees we've never seen in Southwest Oklahoma.

Turn by turn my grin got bigger and my singing got louder.  I was BEYOND excited to arrive in the wonderful place I had been daydreaming about since this time last year.

As I inched closer the familiar signs of all the attractions began to pop up behind each curve. "Quickley's Castle", "Come see 100 different cats!" and "Train RIDES".  Oh, how I loved this place.  So magical.  So weird.  So quirky.  It fits.

Then, my intersection and I knew to turn left.  My GPS had remained off and I had made it to Eureka.  Nothing and no one could stop me now!

As I found the road my cottage was on I purposely took a detour to downtown.  I had to see all the little shops and attractions I had so ceaselessly creeped on for 365 days.  My heart fluttered and my gut screamed with excitement!  I'm here!

A few curves and another turn and I made it effortlessly to the cottages.  So proud, I was.  I had made it.  Not just alone, but without a GPS on the last half, and without any major damages to the vehicle.  Thank you, Jesus!

All this to say, traveling alone was a great experience for me.  I had suspected I would be bored with myself and start bugging people via phone call after the first 45 minutes of my trip, yet never once did I desire to pick up the phone.  Music and my soul and the wheel was just about the most refreshing combination I have had in months.  And my vacation has only just begun.

Art, Stanley Marsh 3 and Oklahoma

The older I get the more I realize how much the world is full of fascinating individuals.  This spring I was fortunate enough to take a trip to Santa Fe, New Mexico with a group of friends.  On the way back the tour guide amongst us insisted that we stop by the Cadillac Ranch outside of Amarillo.  I had no idea what she meant but I thought it sounds interesting anyways.

So somewhere in between Santa Fe and Oklahoma I was awakened from a nap and told we were at the Cadillac Ranch.  Much to my surprise I looked out the window to see 10 brightly colored Cadillacs sticking up out of the middle of an old field.  We all gasped in amazement and hurriedly trotted towards this intriguing design.

The dogs that joined us in the car were even more excited perhaps, as they ran forward in anticipation.

Up close each car was its own work of art.  I examined each one, looking at all the different parts of the car and the fabulous colors that made the object "cool."  I soon discovered the bright colors were actually graffiti from different visitors.  I looked around and saw several tourists writing their own names on the cars and taking pictures with them.  A bit later, after the other tourists had left, I noticed a marker they had left behind.  I used it to proudly add my own piece of labeling to the exhibit.  Each of my friends laughed in glee and did the same.

Amongst our group of friends was one guy in particular who works on cars for a living.  While I was fascinated with the human connection and bright colors, he stood back and began telling us of each specific car.  He told about the year make and model and why they changed it and in what way.  The shape of the fins, the tires, the windows, even the seat belt specifics he spouted off.  We each took turns asking the Cadillac guru our own questions, eager for more knowledge of this oddity.

Before we left everyone had to take multiple pictures with multiple types of camera taking technology to ensure we never forgot this mind-opening moment.

Having just taken over the Chamber of Commerce position back home, my mind was reeling with ideas and questions.  I laughed as I pondered asking my Dad to turn one of his fields into a tourist attraction of his hold farm equipment and vehicles.  He would undoubtedly look at me as if I had asked him to put his liver on display.

Our friends discussed later that many people do not enjoy art, or simply do not know how to appreciate and enjoy it.  Specifically in our part of the nation, people are not acclimated to such delicacy.  Our people are raised to work hard and live off of what you have, not asking outside of their means, so the idea of art comes to them as absolutely ridiculous.  Perhaps it started with the territory of Oklahoma.  It was stolen from Indians and returned to them, then opened up for those in need.  Life on the prairie has always been an excruciating task.  Working hard to create food and even harder to get paid doing it is the name of the game.  By the end of the night, all anyone wants to do is sleep before having to do it all again.

Although a lot has changed since the prairie days of Oklahoma, maybe the mindset hasn't.  Our people are here because their ancestors were here, and our ancestors did not teach us to appreciate delicacies.  I think that is why Oklahoma is void of lots of unique culture, and the culture we do possess is not appreciated because of just that--frivolously.  Yet these frivolous expenditures are what keep us sane--or insane, rather, and give us the most joy and open-mindedness.

Currently I struggle with people of this mindset.  They love the idea of kooky and change-oriented, but when it comes to execution fear of ambiguity sits in.  That's why they say artists must be comfortable with the unknown, for that is where creativity lays.

The whole idea of the Cadillac Ranch is obsurd.  And yet it has kept tourists coming for over 30 years and still remains a popular attraction.  The oddity is inspirational and original, something I can't say for many other things on this planet.  The great force behind this creation?  A man named Stanley Marsh 3, who wikipedia deems "an American artist, philanthropist, and prankster from Amarillo, Texas."

What a fun title.  While many adored the man, others criticised him for his pointless art projects.  But hey, if you step out of the boat, your world is sure to get rocked.  Mr. Marsh left the bondage of this world yesterday for natural causes.  His wife of over 40 years survived him, along with lots of children and grandchildren.  Though I never knew him personally, I would like to genuinely salute this man.

I salute him for stepping out of the box, for breaking boundaries, and doing the unexpected.  I salute him for being quirky and weird and passionate and totally and completely himself.  I aim to be there myself one day, but until then I will learn from others.  To find a passionate being is rare, and through a website and a facebook post, I have found one more, so here's to you, Stanley Marsh 3.

May we live in equal pursuit of purpose and passion.

Escape.

I read books all day long about people who travel and taste and do and see.  Articles on EliteDaily and ThoughtCatalog accurately describe my fears and ambitions as a 23-year-old.

During the week I am happy.  I work hard doing a job that I love.  I promote my city and find satisfaction in doing so.  I am an adult: clean, sophisticated, and professional.  I play golf and do yoga and run and paint.  My weekdays are fantastic!

Then comes the weekend and--well, I'll be damned if you catch me wasting another second on that couch or in that bed.  The weekends are me time.  I expect fun, adventure and friends.  I hold it all in all week long, and by Friday night I need to see
funny people do dumb things, perhaps I need to be one of them.

My palette is wet for experiencing other cultures and living among people who are different from me.  I have time and money to explore at this stage in my life, and so that is exactly what I plan to do.

But it always seems like something happens.  The extended family comes in, so and so is out of money, this friend already has commitments, my parents don't think I need to waste gas.  It's always something, but you know I get tired of making excuses for not doing what I truly want to do.

I sometimes dream about being a wanderer.  I would love to just travel and work odd jobs across the country.  I would love to buy the airstream I found on Craigslist last week.  I'd fix it up and begin a journey of an undefined time and an undefined destination.  Why not?

Kid Rock says it this way:

"I just want to drink till I'm not thirsty,

I just want to sleep till I'm not tired,

I just want to drive till I run out of highway

under the purple sky."

Sometimes I worry if I'm not being content, but I don't think that's it.  I think I simply want to live life to the fullest and get the most bang for my buck with where I am in life at this moment.  Travel is always a fun option.

Palo Duro anyone?

Artsy Friday: "Three Feet"

Today's Artsy Friday feature is my painting, "Three Feet", 2013.  This painting was also done as an assignment for my Intermediate Painting class in the fall of 2013.  I was late getting into the class and this was our first assignment.  With less time to work and plan than the other students, I jumped right in and came up with this painting in about a two week period.

The objective was to create a painting that captured "Three Feet."  It could be a play on words, painted on three feet of fabric, etc., just as long as it somehow captured "Three Feet."  Of course I was up to the challenge and my creative brain ticked along as I somehow came up with a very far out idea.

The first thing that popped into my mind was actually a picture of two feet.  In the spring of 2012 I had taken a publications class where we worked with Adobe's InDesign, Illustrator and Photoshop programs to create lots of cool graphic designs.  One of our assignments had been to create a book cover.  I had a really cool idea of merging three pictures I had taken back in 2010 for a digital photography class.  What happened then was a cool design, I thought.  However when I presented it to the class they saw the deeper meaning behind the pretty pictures.

"It is a reflection of your soul."  they said.

Even the plainest Jane in the room began to confront me of my deepest fears and point out the symbolism I had (unknowingly) placed inside my (fake) book cover.  Needless to say, I found the entire presentation completely uncomfortable yet dangerously close to the subconscious truth my design had conveyed.  At that point in my life, this graphic explained the very core of me.  I was in between my country roots and my city potential.  My body was aiming towards a culturally pleasing definition of success, while my heart was telling me to make a U-turn.  Without going into the whole story of my madness, here is my (fake) book cover, American Honey:

So as I entered the classroom of FJJ 420 in August of 2013 I was sort of in the same emotional spot.  Wanting more but not quite ready to leave my roots.  I had mixed emotions about returning back to school to finish my last semester, and I was quite nervous of what would come next.  These things, plus the obvious imagery of "two feet" led me to an idea for my "three feet" painting.

I imagined building of of my American Honey graphic and adding a third set of feet.  If the boots had symbolized my country roots and the flats my city potential, then I needed a third pair of feet to show my new found interest in travel.  Before I knew it, however, my mind had skipped a few pages and just saw the dirt and a cityscape colliding, mixed with a sunset and an ocean, covered with an outline of the south central states of America. 

As I sketched this in my notebook, I also envisioned my favorite color scheme, rainbow!  With not much time to spare, I took my 10 minutes of planning an ran with it.  My first goal: rainbow-fy it!  I pictured the four corners of my painting merging together at an angle.  How clever I thought I was!

However, pretty soon my professor presented me with a clear problem.  Where does the three feet come in?  In theory, I had this covered, but on the actual canvas it made no sense.  I took this into consideration but continued painting my original design, hoping the issue would work itself out as it so often does in the arts.  

After painting the background lightly, I decided to freehand part of the United States.  Using Google Image as my guide, I would look at the picture on my screen and do my best to fill it in with white on my canvas.  I only wanted an outline so I first cut through the thick paint with my palette knife, outlining the states, then went back in and filled it in with white paint.  

With better planning I would probably have changed the order of my process.  Next I found myself painting in the wheat in the bottom left corner and the cityscape in the upper right.  This was sort of the bigger image I was going for, but by doing this I covered up my states. 

I continued working in the bottom right, bringing out the ocean more and more, then moved back to the upper left working on my sunset clouds that reminded me of Salvador Dali's style.  

Soon I found myself completely without states, so I spent the night before our painting was due, at the art studio, tracing states with a palette knife and wondering if the white was really a good idea, since I had previously added all the white details to the rest of the painting.  With no time to spare I decided against the white and against the lines I had originally gone with.  Magenta dots please!

I was very pleased with my painting thus far, but with only a few hours left until presentation time, I remembered a tedious problem.  There was no representation of three feet anywhere in my painting.  In fact, it was a stretch to explain how I even came up with this idea in the first place.  

Being the witty, sometimes obnoxious person that I am, I decided to include three small but monumental figures in my painting.  

That is my hidden secret for this painting.  Feel very special that I let you in.  Not everyone knows of this little flair.  To see the finished painting check out my listing on Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/listing/173149730/three-feet-oil-painting-on-canvas?ref=shop_home_active.

Thanks for reading!