What Would Deacon Fry Do?

Since my last post I've still been thinking a lot on the same subject.  Welcome back to writing, Haley.  God is now going to plague you with a series of related events until you write the heck out of them.  I call it "inspired." 

First I had a good read.  There is a wonderful chapter in the middle of a book called "Living with Fred" by Brad Whittington.  In this chapter we have a teenage boy sitting in his father's office discussing punishment and process.  The boy's father happens to be a preacher who had just received a call from the head deacon, informing him that the boy was seen hanging around the town drunk.

As the father's anger and disappointment increases, so does the boy's defense.  He cannot understand what is so wrong with friending a man who has hardly any friends.  After all, isn't that what Jesus would  have done?  All of his friends were sinners and outcasts.

The father of course, not wanting to be wrong, reluctantly agreed but also explained how the Bible teaches us to live with holiness, and be "as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves", therefore it looks bad hanging out with the guy so it's considered wrong in the deacon's eyes, not to mention everyone else's eyes too.

The boy comes back with a seriously profound question that captures my point, I believe.

"So, you're saying I should ask myself, 'What would Deacon Fry do?' instead of "What would Jesus do?"  (not a direct quote.)

Wow.  How do you respond to that?  How do any of us respond to that?  We say we love Jesus and church and babies and everything, yet we are still living for each other and not the One True God.  We act like everything is perfect and we hide our sin and we avoid outcasts and lame events with meaning because it looks bad to everyone else.  We read the Bible and challenge ourselves, our children, and our friends to be "more Christ-like,"  but I think that looks like something so polar opposite of what we envision.

Jesus didn't stay squeaky clean.  

He didn't avoid sticky situations.

Christ was known for doing the opposite of what people thought he would do, and you know what?  I think 2,000 years and a ton of Study Bibles later....we've still got it wrong.  I bet he'd still surprise us today with his actions.

But what do we do about this?  We're human.  We will always fall short; always be wrong.  That's why we so desperately need Jesus.  Without him we're hopeless.

Yet because of his great gift of life and love to me, I want to do my best.  I want to give back what he gave to me.  

I had a moment like that once I suppose.  God told me to do something brave.  Something powerful.  Something society saw as sin and dirty and awkward and messy. But I loved Jesus and I was convinced it was from him, so I did it.

You know what happened?  

Absolutely everyone I had been loved and supported by turned their back on me.  Some of them still don't talk to me, others only talk to me because my life looks more correct to society now.  

Many people still think what I did was not from God--but I don't care.  He spoke it to me, not them.  And you know what?  The more I think on it, the more I know it had to be from God, because people treated me the way they treated Jesus--yet I had done nothing wrong.

So who is it that you really want your kids to live for?

Preacherman I love ya but you're confusing me.  I hear what you're saying but I just don't see any church folk doin' it.

The church is the first to turn on you when you do take action.  Take Deacon Fry, in the book for example.

The church doesn't actually want you to live for Jesus, they want you to live for them.

The church doesn't want you to be a radical disciple, they want you to be a casual Christian.

When I say "the church" I'm talking about me.  

I'm talking about you.  

I'm talking about your parents, your siblings, your preacher, your friends and your Christian school.

They don't want you to be sold out for Jesus--it costs too much.  

Real Jesus-living Christians are outcasts and dangerous...a little crazy too.

It's better to just be "normal"--something in between that doesn't rock the boat.  

Pick up trash, call your grandma, go to Sunday and Wednesday night services, but no more please.  Praying with prostitutes is dangerous and feeding the homeless is a lie.  You can't spend that much on a mission trip when you have school to pay for.  Don't hang out with them; they have a record.  We want you to be safe. good. like us.

                                          ---Sincerely,

                                                  Stuck. 

The Kid Rock-Cash-Cyrus Approach

One question seems to plague me today.

It's something I've thought about vaguely for a while, and until today it has nested in the back of my mind.  But now I'm wondering, and so I'm asking--not for an opinion, but for a truth.  A Jesus-truth.

Around a year ago I really became fascinated with Johnny Cash.  Today I watched "Walk the Line" again and saw it from a whole new angle.

I have also become a huge Kid Rock fan over the past 24 months, and although I consider myself a devout Christian, I find his "in your face", almost-offensive lyrics refreshing somehow.

I think what draws us to these pop culture masterpieces is their originality.  Kid Rock prides himself on being a master of mixing hip-hop, southern rock, and blues all into one.  And listening to his music, I can tell you it is truly a beautiful collaboration and somehow he makes it work--and he has made it work with his obvious multi-platinum record sales.

If you look up Johnny Cash on Wikipedia it explains that his originality and rebelliousness to the country music genre is what set him apart and put him light years ahead of his competition.  He too was creative in his mix: gospel, blues, and western music.

What further intrigues me about Cash is that he considered himself a very devout Christian, yet he was the "biggest sinner of them all."  To be so complex and contradictory really confused a lot of people, especially his Christian fans.

And in the movie there is a scene where Johnny goes to his record company asking to design a concert tour around the nation's top penitentiary systems.  His record company tells him that this is clearly not going to reach his loyal fans.

"Your fans are church folk, Johnny.  Christians.  They don't wanna hear you sing to a bunch of murderers and rapists, tryin' to cheer 'em up."

Mr Cash's striking reply was,

 "Well, they're not Christians then."

 I guess what gets me is that WE are Christians.  We are to model Jesus.  Jesus loved sinners--murderers and rapists.  But in the church today, you don't hear or see anything remotely close to that.  No one loves them or hangs out with them or buys them lunch--much less sings to them or tries to cheer them up.  

In fact, I would assume it would be easier and much more popular for the Christians to look down at Mr. Cash for doing such a thing.

His lyrics are just so rebellious!

                                     He sings about popping pills, killing people, and getting drunk!

How can such a person consider themselves a Christian??

                                          I heard he started out as a gospel singer--I wonder what happened to him?

Poor guy--he's so strung out on drugs he doesn't know what he wants.

Of course, I wasn't around for Johnny Cash's career and the live gossip that followed.  But we are all here for Kid Rock.  Also to many people's surprise--he too sings several songs on faith, Jesus, and God.  He is a political and social activists and participates in several charities.  But I'm sure most of my fellow Christians (I used too as well) can be caught with this kind of opinion:

Kid Rock?  He's definitely not a good guy.  Have you heard his lyrics?  

                         Didn't he go to jail for drugs and stuff?

I think he is pretty strung out on drugs too..

                        I have no respect for him.

                                           He is disgusting.

But really, would Jesus gossip like this?  Well, Jesus wouldn't gossip.  But he would definitely hold the same opinions as us...right?  

What about Lady Gaga or Miley Cyrus' new stunt??

Yeah and did you hear about Amanda Bynes??  Oh my gosh, she is totally loosing it.  Such a shame too because she was so talented...

So it's okay to make "pity" comments and judgmental thoughts about them because they're famous right?

What about you?  How are things on your end?

I heard she's been hanging out with a rough crowd lately..

                He might be gay, we better keep him at a close distance.

I pray for them, but gees there's just no changing them.  They are total hypocrites!

And I'm the one writing this so you know I'll get slammed!

Who is she to talk?  Why does she always think she has the right to preach to us??

                    Well she obviously can't say anything..she dropped out of school for a year!

I don't trust her beliefs anymore..I heard she works at a bar.

I think we've all wasted too many precious hours lying and covering up our mistakes with cheap Covergirl cosmetics.  You see, I am a very black and white person.  Tell me what to do and I'll do it, but this question I have seems to have no clear answer--and so I'm asking you to think on it with me.  Let's think and pray until the Lord searches our hearts with a solution.

Here's the question:

In my family, (Disclaimer: Obviously I love my family, this is just a thought so don't freak out.)  we were raised to keep our sins on the down-low.  Yes, we acknowledge that everyone sins and Jesus totally forgives those kinds of things--but at the same time, we really don't want the whole world knowing about our weaknesses...it just gets, well, kind of messy.  It's too much to explain.

• Like your father's infidelity for instance.  We won't mention that because it was wrong, he knew it was wrong, and so him and your mother worked out amongst themselves and moved on.

• Or your sister went to jail on a crazy party mishap.  That's great that your parents got her out immediately and had it expunged from her record, but please don't bring it up ever again--especially in a family setting.  We don't need to discuss that.

Part of me agrees with this approach, part of me doesn't.  

The Bible teaches me to expose sins and confess them to my prayer warrior friends so I can be healed and set free (James 5:16, Proverbs 28:13, 1 Timothy 5:20.)  But when I do that, I get more gossip in return and worried looks from parents, family members, and old teachers.  I even got awkward talks from many people who barely knew me or my situation!

On the other hand..if you keep quiet about the whole thing and handle yourself between you and God then everyone avoids the awkward conversation and we all politely disregard the fact that you also are human and you have sin.  Because we disregard this fact we can quite confidently turn around and not only judge each other for listening to Lady Gaga's music, but we can join forces together by calling her a "sinful ugly whore who is desperate for attention."

I guess in a perfect world we would follow the Bible and stop judging each other, but we don't live that way--so we sin.  And we sin more to cover up our sin.  And when people ask us about it we lie about our sin.

It's a lose-lose situation.

I had a wonderful friend once who was THAT honest with himself, his friends, his parents and his church family. 

Now we all hate him.

I just don't get it.  What are we to do?  Save face and be (fake) clean little Christians with good (outward) habits and hobbies, or do we take the Kid Rock-Cash-Cyrus approach and be upfront with everyone about being "troubled but devout Christians."

Mysterious People..

I am and have always been, a very open person.  I get told this a lot by strangers.  I guess it helps in writing, but it hurts in other places.  Recently I have been learning about the "real world" and how you sadly can't trust everyone you meet.  I hate this.  It is one of the most disappointing things I have come to face.  It's like parents and all those teachers and coaches all these years worked so hard to teach you right from wrong and make you a good person, but in the end you go to grown up world and those rules don't matter.  Everyone is egotistical, selfish and heartless.  It is rare to find a trustworthy person, and those wonderful gems usually turn out to be the ones that get screwed.  How sad.

Being as open as I am it is frustrating.  I can never, ever ever ever keep my own secrets..no matter how hard I try, and I easily find myself falling into conversation with someone and spilling my guts.  Oh wait I'm doing it now.  Awesome, someone is going to read my blog and take advantage of my weakness now.  Ugg..

Some people say my honesty is refreshing.  I guess I just see things in black and white.  I like simple.  Puzzles irritate me because they aren't straightforward.  Learning Spanish was hard because it changed and was relative.  Basketball and I didn't work out because of the ever changing plays that depended on circumstances.  Why can't everything just be pure and simple?  If I ask a question, answer me and tell me the truth, the whole truth...and nothing but the truth.  Who would even think to lie about it?

idealist.

I suppose it is my black and whiteness that leads me to be intrigued by mysterious people.  Today at the coffee shop I just had two mysterious customers leave.  They weren't creepy and I wasn't suspicious...they were two of my favorites, one being a close friend.  Today we sat all three together for the first time and I listened and watched as one tried to pull stories out of the other.  Both of these men fascinate me because when I ask them about themselves they are short; interesting but lacking in details.  It's that puzzle thing again.  Why are you making me work so hard for answers? Just tell me.

I guess I have my parents to thank for my pure-mindedness.

One of these guys is an older gentlemen.  I think he is a secret-something.  Perhaps an angel sent by my late grandfather.  Maybe grandpa sent him here to teach me culture, understanding people, and adventure.  Or maybe he is a secret agent, sent by the government to try and capture me in a lie so they can arrest me for some absurd reason.  More realistically, I like to think he is an undercover counselor.  He sits down for a quick 15 minutes at a time and asks me deep, introspective questions that get me thinking about myself, and then leaves.

One day I decided to trick him.  I wanted a turn too, ya know.  As soon as he walked I jumped on him verbally and asked him to tell me about his wife!  Ah-hah!  There was a conversation that was sure to stick on him for a while.  I wanted to analyze him for a change.  Unfortunately, I soon ended up on defense again.  And boy do I have a poor defense.  It's wide open!

I guess you can be that way if you have no secrets.

Is it bad to not have secrets?  Maybe I am missing a psychological piece of my mind.  Perhaps I need to be more sneaky and have passions I don't tell anyone about.  People like that are intriguing, but cowardice I think.  Maybe we all care too much what people think about us, so we don't risk sharing our hearts.

Maybe mysterious people have been through a lot in their lives and don't want to get hurt again.

But how do prevent that?

You can't.

Even with a superior family, secured living locations and protection from God Almighty, you still have to live life in a fallen world.  You still have to constantly interact with bad people, fallen people, and hurtful situations.  Pain and failure is inevitable.  We need to respect them and treat them as what they are rather than avoiding them at all coasts and pitying ourselves when we find them.

Kalhlil Gibran, on "Pain" from The Prophet:

"Your pain is the breaking of the shell than encloses your understanding.

Even as the stone of the fruit must break,

that its heart my stand in the sun, so must

you know pain.

And could you keep your heart in wonder 

at the daily miracles of your life, your pain

would not seem less wondrous than your joy;

And you would accept the seasons of your 

heart, even as you have always accepted 

the seasons that pass over your fields.

And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.

Much of your pain is self-chosen.

It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.

Therefore, trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility:

For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,

And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips,

has been fashioned of the clay witch the Potter has moistened with his own sacred tears.